(no subject)
"Live like there's no tomorrow" has got to be the dumbest quote.
If I was living like there was no tomorrow I would be having unprotected sex with a multitude of people while candy flipping and eating an In N Out burger and strawberry-chocolate shake.
After coitus, I would probably set out to destroy everything humanly possible. I would be lighting shit on fire and throwing rocks through glass windows. Gleefully laughing at my new-found ability to destroy without repercussions.
I have to wonder what this says about my personality. Because, yeah, I might like to imagine I would go to the top of a mountain and watch the world go by...but I would only do that if I was on a copious amount of drugs and if there was sex involved.
If there was no tomorrow I would be going out with a bang, definitely. Except, there is a tomorrow. There is a very lovely tomorrow that we invest in, every moment. And that is the real truth, and that is why I am toning down. Relaxing into what is real rather than what is fake fake fake and processed and animalistic.
I think I'm going to try celibacy for a bit. I can masturbate but I cannot watch porn or have sex. I am going to try this for a month.
Been realizing I've used sex for all the wrong reasons. Validation, fear, whatever other bad shit. I am putting it on the back burner now and focusing on other, more real, things.
n_n~
If I was living like there was no tomorrow I would be having unprotected sex with a multitude of people while candy flipping and eating an In N Out burger and strawberry-chocolate shake.
After coitus, I would probably set out to destroy everything humanly possible. I would be lighting shit on fire and throwing rocks through glass windows. Gleefully laughing at my new-found ability to destroy without repercussions.
I have to wonder what this says about my personality. Because, yeah, I might like to imagine I would go to the top of a mountain and watch the world go by...but I would only do that if I was on a copious amount of drugs and if there was sex involved.
If there was no tomorrow I would be going out with a bang, definitely. Except, there is a tomorrow. There is a very lovely tomorrow that we invest in, every moment. And that is the real truth, and that is why I am toning down. Relaxing into what is real rather than what is fake fake fake and processed and animalistic.
I think I'm going to try celibacy for a bit. I can masturbate but I cannot watch porn or have sex. I am going to try this for a month.
Been realizing I've used sex for all the wrong reasons. Validation, fear, whatever other bad shit. I am putting it on the back burner now and focusing on other, more real, things.
n_n~