(no subject)
i wrote this a while ago. but i havent had the change to update because my computer has been weird. so it has been on my computer for a while but its all good.
so just when you think things couldnt possibly get worse. they do. and it sucks. yea. cause when it rains it pours and when it pours it hails and when it hails the road get icey and you slide off the road and die. yes that is what I decided while I was talking to exic..........aka the ex nick. yes nick and I broke up it wasnt fun. I feel bad because he bought me all this stuff for our one month. and didn't know what to do because he gave it to me on the night that I was going to break up with him. so I didn't. break up with him. but then we went to a concert and shit happened. so we broke up. and yea. jessi tried hooking up with him and we got in this huge ass fight. and this shit happened. and we weren't speaking for a while. but things are ok now. but yea. teresa and nick decided that they wanted to hook up. but then I got pissed off and I don't think they are anymore. so I don't know. I felt like a bitch but whatever. I don't even care anymore. then stormy was all like you need to try to be friends with chris and all this shit and I was like you know what he hurt me too much and he lied to me and I don't want to have to put up with it. and she was like well you hurt him too.......and I basically told her to mind her own damn business and that she needed to stay out of it. I am so sick of people stabbing me in the back. I don't even know what to do. I am so sick of it. I don't even care. people just need to learn that I have feelings and that I do deserve some respect. I don't know. I just don't know. I am so sick of all the drama. there is so much of it in my life right now. I just can't do it. I feel like I am going to just break down. I haven't cried in a long long long time........but lately.....especially this week I have been crying A LOT I have lost my 3 best friends. I feel like there is nothing left to do. there is like nothing worth going on for.......i have nothing........i just feel like such an aweful person. and it sucks. I hate feeling like this. I feel aweful. and ben just made me feel worse.........i was talking to him and he was just going on and on about how he thinks that we should get back together and whatever. just random stuff like that and he was all like I still love you blah blah blah. and he thinks that like I should date him still and whatever. I just feel so bad........because I think I did tell him that we would get back together and we havent and I really don't think we ever will. and now I feel bad. but what can I do. I don't love him. but ok. I think I have rambled long enough. so I will shut up now. my life is pointless no one has to hear abou it. I will just leave now.
now since then well um. i hung out with this guy chris that i met and he seemed cool so i said i would hang out with him. but it was really awkward like he was hitting on me the whole time and was like can i have a kiss and i was just like no. and he was like well why not and i swear he asked me that like every 2 minutes. i was so sick of it. finally i was just like dude take me home. i dont feel good. so he took me home. and he was just like we should do this again sometime. and i was like yea when im not busy. nope definately not. and he gave me a hug goodbye.........he was an aweful hugger. it was bad. o well. its not his fault. ok well i am done rambling now.
so just when you think things couldnt possibly get worse. they do. and it sucks. yea. cause when it rains it pours and when it pours it hails and when it hails the road get icey and you slide off the road and die. yes that is what I decided while I was talking to exic..........aka the ex nick. yes nick and I broke up it wasnt fun. I feel bad because he bought me all this stuff for our one month. and didn't know what to do because he gave it to me on the night that I was going to break up with him. so I didn't. break up with him. but then we went to a concert and shit happened. so we broke up. and yea. jessi tried hooking up with him and we got in this huge ass fight. and this shit happened. and we weren't speaking for a while. but things are ok now. but yea. teresa and nick decided that they wanted to hook up. but then I got pissed off and I don't think they are anymore. so I don't know. I felt like a bitch but whatever. I don't even care anymore. then stormy was all like you need to try to be friends with chris and all this shit and I was like you know what he hurt me too much and he lied to me and I don't want to have to put up with it. and she was like well you hurt him too.......and I basically told her to mind her own damn business and that she needed to stay out of it. I am so sick of people stabbing me in the back. I don't even know what to do. I am so sick of it. I don't even care. people just need to learn that I have feelings and that I do deserve some respect. I don't know. I just don't know. I am so sick of all the drama. there is so much of it in my life right now. I just can't do it. I feel like I am going to just break down. I haven't cried in a long long long time........but lately.....especially this week I have been crying A LOT I have lost my 3 best friends. I feel like there is nothing left to do. there is like nothing worth going on for.......i have nothing........i just feel like such an aweful person. and it sucks. I hate feeling like this. I feel aweful. and ben just made me feel worse.........i was talking to him and he was just going on and on about how he thinks that we should get back together and whatever. just random stuff like that and he was all like I still love you blah blah blah. and he thinks that like I should date him still and whatever. I just feel so bad........because I think I did tell him that we would get back together and we havent and I really don't think we ever will. and now I feel bad. but what can I do. I don't love him. but ok. I think I have rambled long enough. so I will shut up now. my life is pointless no one has to hear abou it. I will just leave now.
now since then well um. i hung out with this guy chris that i met and he seemed cool so i said i would hang out with him. but it was really awkward like he was hitting on me the whole time and was like can i have a kiss and i was just like no. and he was like well why not and i swear he asked me that like every 2 minutes. i was so sick of it. finally i was just like dude take me home. i dont feel good. so he took me home. and he was just like we should do this again sometime. and i was like yea when im not busy. nope definately not. and he gave me a hug goodbye.........he was an aweful hugger. it was bad. o well. its not his fault. ok well i am done rambling now.