love from a cage
its scary when you think youve realized something about yourself.
something youve had in the back of your head for so many years.
it hurts and its not welcome.
its scary when you feel like people you love are on the verge of breaking away. like youre asleep and the door is finally open after the painful minutes of creaking, and all that there is left to do is walk out. thats what its like. i feel abandoned...or soon to be a victim of the act.
its scary when you think you know something about someone and its not just a notion or a phase of paranoia. you know its true and real. its so sketchy and scary but it almost feels safe.
is that wrong?
i need support and faith right now. i KNOW im going to college. a GREAT college. either FAU...PBA....USF...but ill get there. and soon. i know im getting my car soon..my license back...and everything that is planned, the Lord has told me im soon to be blessed with. Im so grateful that hes on my team...he knows i can do it and hes going to carry me through it. I have so many dreams and goals and i have a lot of ambition and i can do anything. the only thing that discourages me, are the people in my life who look at me like im a failure. im stupid to have such impossbile fantasies. when i tell them my plan for life, they look at me like "youre dreams are too big. theyre out of your reach and the farthest place you will reach is burger king down the road because thats where youll be for the rest of your life. dont dream so big little girl. youll never make it."
its incredible what people can say without saying anything. with just one look.
i feel bad for them.
i guess thats something i have to swallow...a part of growing up. dealing with those who will let you down. everyone does it. i do it for petes sake. its the human condition..no one is perfect and we will all dissapoint those close to us at some point or another. that when i have to give myself over to the Lord again. and im so thankful that hes in me because he'll always be there. even when im not.
i feel seperated from who i am. its like i miss myself which is absurd. guess thats apart of growing up as well...losing yourself.
something youve had in the back of your head for so many years.
it hurts and its not welcome.
its scary when you feel like people you love are on the verge of breaking away. like youre asleep and the door is finally open after the painful minutes of creaking, and all that there is left to do is walk out. thats what its like. i feel abandoned...or soon to be a victim of the act.
its scary when you think you know something about someone and its not just a notion or a phase of paranoia. you know its true and real. its so sketchy and scary but it almost feels safe.
is that wrong?
i need support and faith right now. i KNOW im going to college. a GREAT college. either FAU...PBA....USF...but ill get there. and soon. i know im getting my car soon..my license back...and everything that is planned, the Lord has told me im soon to be blessed with. Im so grateful that hes on my team...he knows i can do it and hes going to carry me through it. I have so many dreams and goals and i have a lot of ambition and i can do anything. the only thing that discourages me, are the people in my life who look at me like im a failure. im stupid to have such impossbile fantasies. when i tell them my plan for life, they look at me like "youre dreams are too big. theyre out of your reach and the farthest place you will reach is burger king down the road because thats where youll be for the rest of your life. dont dream so big little girl. youll never make it."
its incredible what people can say without saying anything. with just one look.
i feel bad for them.
i guess thats something i have to swallow...a part of growing up. dealing with those who will let you down. everyone does it. i do it for petes sake. its the human condition..no one is perfect and we will all dissapoint those close to us at some point or another. that when i have to give myself over to the Lord again. and im so thankful that hes in me because he'll always be there. even when im not.
i feel seperated from who i am. its like i miss myself which is absurd. guess thats apart of growing up as well...losing yourself.