(no subject)
It's been a while, and he's had time to think about things. Laying in his bed and staring at the ceiling and basically evaluating everything so far. What he has. What he wants. What he could lose. His brain isn't hardwired for that kind of deep thought, it gives him a headache. But he thinks about it anyway, because it's important, until eventually his mind wanders from topic to topic, straying far away from the original goal and leaving him wandering some distant path of of memory and maybe speculation.
He can't analyze. He can't objectively state why the other man means so much to him, any more than he can explain why he loves Road or how he can decide to leave the Earl, everything for... What is he leaving for? It's not that he wants to strike out on his own, and it's not that he feels confined in the family. Maybe it's just greed. He doesn't want to share what he has. So he wants to take them away where no one else can have them.
He honestly doesn't know why anymore, and it's not the point anyway. Because someone tried to take what was his. If not for the peculiar traits of this place, he would have lost what was his. Just like that.
It's not something his mind can dwell on, because his heart beat races when he even edges around it. Rage. Possessive, territorial, uncompromising, unutterable rage. It leaves him feeling hollow and calm.
She had to pay. And Joyd--he'd have to as well. Not sure how, not sure even if it was possible, he knows it has to be done. Because he is so very tired of being a pawn to this place. And so very tired of betrayal and family bickering and everything that isn't his getting in the way.
And so here he stands, in the middle of the night, outside Road's door, barefoot in a shirt and drawstring pants, knocking on the door.
He can't analyze. He can't objectively state why the other man means so much to him, any more than he can explain why he loves Road or how he can decide to leave the Earl, everything for... What is he leaving for? It's not that he wants to strike out on his own, and it's not that he feels confined in the family. Maybe it's just greed. He doesn't want to share what he has. So he wants to take them away where no one else can have them.
He honestly doesn't know why anymore, and it's not the point anyway. Because someone tried to take what was his. If not for the peculiar traits of this place, he would have lost what was his. Just like that.
It's not something his mind can dwell on, because his heart beat races when he even edges around it. Rage. Possessive, territorial, uncompromising, unutterable rage. It leaves him feeling hollow and calm.
She had to pay. And Joyd--he'd have to as well. Not sure how, not sure even if it was possible, he knows it has to be done. Because he is so very tired of being a pawn to this place. And so very tired of betrayal and family bickering and everything that isn't his getting in the way.
And so here he stands, in the middle of the night, outside Road's door, barefoot in a shirt and drawstring pants, knocking on the door.