(no subject)
Oh god it was so good, I was really scared for a while, I forgot about it during school and then they texted me and said they were coming and yeah I freak out like I do. But then I saw them and introduced them to him and it was akward... because I for got about them.
But then we chilled and I remembered how I used to feel. And then some drama shit happened with my mom & I had to go to softball.
But not long after we peaced out and went downtown and I showed them around the best I could. We went to the pier which was fun as fuck, and then we met up with Carson and I was annoyed confused for a little bit, but then we bounced and later we met up with people at Demens Landing, and it was nice, and we got some beer and fucking chilled and it was sooo good and me and Ant figured some deep shit out about he and Jade and how we lost it and it was all really over due and it was right for me now.
So I call them once I get home and they were content... with everything and they liked us and approved and I was so happy. I haven't felt that kind of approval from them in such a long time, and I needed to untie those knots to move on and I missed them so much.
But everything ended up turning out the way I wanted it to and I just needed it because I have been so confused and afraid lately and now I'm alright fine with everything because I'm in good company and I knew it all along. I'll be fine from now on, I'm not afraid anymore, I was underconfident, but I'm cool.
And tomorrow I'm doing e with Carson? I hope it'll be cool... I'm nervous cause I barely do drugs anymore, substances used to be so alluring.
And then Sunday is our sixth month... wierd?
So hopefully I will figure it all out tomorrow... I'm just out of the loop... I need Lyndsey to talk me through it... and I need to go to Orlando soon and talk with Shea cause I've been thinking about her a lot lately, I need that bitch.
And Ant, John, Ben and Kaley are coming to see Against Me with me on February 21st which should be fucking sweet, I'm stoked. I missed them so much I didn't even realize it... so I should peace out and you know do productive shit. But I'm okay now, I made peace tonight and it was really satisfying. So things will be fine now and I have a good feeling about things.
But then we chilled and I remembered how I used to feel. And then some drama shit happened with my mom & I had to go to softball.
But not long after we peaced out and went downtown and I showed them around the best I could. We went to the pier which was fun as fuck, and then we met up with Carson and I was annoyed confused for a little bit, but then we bounced and later we met up with people at Demens Landing, and it was nice, and we got some beer and fucking chilled and it was sooo good and me and Ant figured some deep shit out about he and Jade and how we lost it and it was all really over due and it was right for me now.
So I call them once I get home and they were content... with everything and they liked us and approved and I was so happy. I haven't felt that kind of approval from them in such a long time, and I needed to untie those knots to move on and I missed them so much.
But everything ended up turning out the way I wanted it to and I just needed it because I have been so confused and afraid lately and now I'm alright fine with everything because I'm in good company and I knew it all along. I'll be fine from now on, I'm not afraid anymore, I was underconfident, but I'm cool.
And tomorrow I'm doing e with Carson? I hope it'll be cool... I'm nervous cause I barely do drugs anymore, substances used to be so alluring.
And then Sunday is our sixth month... wierd?
So hopefully I will figure it all out tomorrow... I'm just out of the loop... I need Lyndsey to talk me through it... and I need to go to Orlando soon and talk with Shea cause I've been thinking about her a lot lately, I need that bitch.
And Ant, John, Ben and Kaley are coming to see Against Me with me on February 21st which should be fucking sweet, I'm stoked. I missed them so much I didn't even realize it... so I should peace out and you know do productive shit. But I'm okay now, I made peace tonight and it was really satisfying. So things will be fine now and I have a good feeling about things.