(no subject)
I need to feel real again. I hate feeling this numb feeling like everything in my mind will just go back to how it used to be. And I can't cry and I want to more than anything. My mind won't let my eyes water. My body is a barren landscape with things I can't describe.
(And the only reason I keep complaining in here is cause I don't really have anyone to say this kind of stuff to)
...I want to feel the way I did with Ant and John, I want to broaden my view, to feel, to not be afraid all of the time. I don't want to worry about what the next minute is going to bring.
Sarah calls me and tells me that she doesn't regret anything in her life, and I'd like to say that I don't either because I suppose I'm happy with the way things turned out. The problem is, I'm not so happy about the way I am and the person I've become.
What has happened to me? St. Pete has happened to me. I've lost what was once true to me. I want to go out and explore; do things that are interesting, wierd. I want to eat dinner at the hospital, grafitti some walls, do nothing but jam out, go see horror films with my girlfriends. I have become apathetic. Maybe I'm just bored.
Want to come shake things up?
(And the only reason I keep complaining in here is cause I don't really have anyone to say this kind of stuff to)
...I want to feel the way I did with Ant and John, I want to broaden my view, to feel, to not be afraid all of the time. I don't want to worry about what the next minute is going to bring.
Sarah calls me and tells me that she doesn't regret anything in her life, and I'd like to say that I don't either because I suppose I'm happy with the way things turned out. The problem is, I'm not so happy about the way I am and the person I've become.
What has happened to me? St. Pete has happened to me. I've lost what was once true to me. I want to go out and explore; do things that are interesting, wierd. I want to eat dinner at the hospital, grafitti some walls, do nothing but jam out, go see horror films with my girlfriends. I have become apathetic. Maybe I'm just bored.
Want to come shake things up?