Part IV: Fading
Those Who Cried and Those Who Could Not
Part IV: Fading
Paring: Axel/ Roxas
Rating: PG, for angst.
Summary: Having a heart isn’t that great.
x-posted to
khyaoi
“You’re lucky, looks like my summer vacation is over.”
Roxas stood in front of a sleeping Sora. He felt something happening to him, it wasn’t painful just odd. Roxas closed his eyes, he wasn’t sure what was happening, but if his theory was correct he was fusing with Sora. And there was nothing he could do to stop it.
Even with his eyes closed Roxas could feel light, it was everywhere and he could feel. Feelings that weren’t his bombarded his senses, there was joy, fear, hope, friendship, love, confusion , determination so many feelings. Roxas knew the feelings were Sora’s, so that’s what it felt like to be Sora; it felt strangely right.
Sora’s memories and feelings were now his own. He didn’t exactly want them but there was nothing he could do. Roxas felt himself meld into Sora, as Sora began to regain consciousness. Right before he ceased to be just Roxas he felt a new wave of emotions.
Hurt, love, happiness, confusion, betrayal, trust, warmth these emotions where his own and they hurt. Roxas remembered then Axel and the sad betrayal in his eyes, the hope fading from his eyes when he realized Roxas could not remember him. He saw the reluctance with which Axel had fought him and then Roxas remembered Axel, and who Axel was and who Axel was to him. And he hurt even more.
Roxas remembered Axel telling him he would miss him, remembered the pain in Axel’s voice. He could not understand the love Axel had for him or the love he had for Axel. He had wanted to turn around and go back to Axel, he had wanted to forget about his quest, he knew that if he did the strange lump in his throat and the ache in his chest would have disappear and all because he would be with Axel.
Unfortunately back then he had not understood the reason for those feelings. He didn’t know why he felt that being with Axel would make everything okay. Those feelings were matters of the heart and he had not possessed one. So Roxas had done what his mind, could at least understand and deem logical. Roxas had left.
Now, now he had a heart and that heart felt so much, that heart recognized and understood the feelings he had not. It was tearing him apart; it hurt even more to know he could do nothing to make things right with Axel. He would never see Axel again. Axel was gone. Axel was gone by his hand. It hurt so much.
Roxas would have cried back then, cried for the inability to recognize the loss of his friend the loss of his lover, but he had not known how. Now he, thought ironically, wanted to cry but he could not he no longer had a physical outlet for tears. And as Sora began to awaken Roxas melded more into Sora’s unconsciousness, the ache in his heart dulling. The memories of Axel safe within him forever.
~~~~~~
Seriously though , one of these days I'll write a happy Axel/Roxas fic or at least not so angsty. Eventually o_O
Part I: Waiting (Kairi-centric)
Part II: Feeling (Axel/Roxas)
Part III: Wishing (Riku/Sora)