I dislike myself with an intensity, now more than ever

[carcinos2000]

I am not surprised in the least. Once again, my pure, doltish, idiocy has ruined my life. This happens so much; but no matter how many times it happens, it hurts all the same. There are only a certain amount of these things one can take before one breaks... and I am very close to breaking now. Too close. But there's nothing I can do about it, apparently; however much I would like to be able to quit being such an imbecile, it seems I am doomed to be one forever, wrecking things I hold dear... I've got a haiku thats kinda depressing, but i wrote it myself. 'Trying to find tears
I think of my great folly
Darkness breaks my soul'
Sad poem for a sad day, I suppose. More later.