The Hawk Will Never Die
So I just got back from orientation like 25 minutes ago and I'm exhausted. I honestly have no idea why I'm not either taking my first shower in 3 days or sleeping but whatever.
Okay, I know this sounds over-dramatic but I'm like really scared that I'm not going to fit in at St. Joe's. Like, in our group sessions all people talked about was how to sneak alcohol into dorms and the best places to hook up and their past crazy drunken stories. And I clearly did not have ANYTHING to contribute to these conversations, so I felt weirdly introverted for the past few days. Then at the dance I was the only girl in my group not getting like molested by the guys, and while that's not necessarily a bad thing I still felt left out. I'm just really not comfortable with this whole party scene thing, and I didn't meet another human there who feels the same way. Granted, I only met approximately 1% of my class, but still...it's stressing me out. I'm really hoping once I get involved in campus ministry (including the HAPPY 4TH DAY GROUP for ECHO grads!!!) I will meet some people who share my values.
St. Joe's reminds me of Feehan so much and I got so Feehan-sick. Like the president talked about the "family community" and the priest told bad jokes and everyone has too much school spirit and loves to hug. Haha. But the chapel doesn't have kneelers. It's just not the same crying in a chair. And in major light (it's surrounded by windows)
Serious question- what do I do to make guys notice me? I really can't express how much I wish someone...anyone...had some sort of interest in me. I feel so lonely lately. I mean, other than physical stuff, do I send off a bad vibe or something? I'm looking for honesty here...
Okay I need to shower and unpack and sleeeepppp so I can go to Stacy's in the morning. Have I mentioned how much I love my friends. I felt like the only person with solid, true friends with more basis than "we go to parties together" and it just makes me so grateful. :)
Okay, I know this sounds over-dramatic but I'm like really scared that I'm not going to fit in at St. Joe's. Like, in our group sessions all people talked about was how to sneak alcohol into dorms and the best places to hook up and their past crazy drunken stories. And I clearly did not have ANYTHING to contribute to these conversations, so I felt weirdly introverted for the past few days. Then at the dance I was the only girl in my group not getting like molested by the guys, and while that's not necessarily a bad thing I still felt left out. I'm just really not comfortable with this whole party scene thing, and I didn't meet another human there who feels the same way. Granted, I only met approximately 1% of my class, but still...it's stressing me out. I'm really hoping once I get involved in campus ministry (including the HAPPY 4TH DAY GROUP for ECHO grads!!!) I will meet some people who share my values.
St. Joe's reminds me of Feehan so much and I got so Feehan-sick. Like the president talked about the "family community" and the priest told bad jokes and everyone has too much school spirit and loves to hug. Haha. But the chapel doesn't have kneelers. It's just not the same crying in a chair. And in major light (it's surrounded by windows)
Serious question- what do I do to make guys notice me? I really can't express how much I wish someone...anyone...had some sort of interest in me. I feel so lonely lately. I mean, other than physical stuff, do I send off a bad vibe or something? I'm looking for honesty here...
Okay I need to shower and unpack and sleeeepppp so I can go to Stacy's in the morning. Have I mentioned how much I love my friends. I felt like the only person with solid, true friends with more basis than "we go to parties together" and it just makes me so grateful. :)