Congratulations on your marriage*!
To honor this special occasion, the U.S. Government is happy to present you:
Access to Social Security after spouse's death
Access to health insurance through spouse's workplace
The right to custody of children after divorce
Visitation rights for non-biological children
Joint parenting rights, such as access to children's school records
Bereavement leave after death of a spouse
Burial determination after the death of a spouse
Domestic violence intervention
Sick leave to care for spouse or non-biological child
Legal validation of a long-term relationship
Ability to live in families deemed "families only"
Access to life insurance in spouse's work place
Access to survivor benefits in case of emergency
Access to spouse's crime victims' recovery benefits
Ability to file wrongful death claims
Right to shared property, child support, and alimony after divorce
Ability to file joint home and auto insurance policies
Joint rental leases with automatic renewal rights if spouse dies or leaves
Access to adopting children
Automatic inheritance of shared assets after spouse's death
Automatic inheritance of retirement savings tax-free after spouse's death
Automatic exemption of property tax increases on shared assets gained after spouse's death
Ability to file joint tax returns
Access to tax breaks for married couples
Veterans discounts based on spouse's armed forces status
Assumption of spouse's pension after death
Ability to file joint bankruptcy
Ability to collect unemployment benefits after leaving a job to relocate because of spouse's job move
Ability to transfer property from one spouse to another without transfer tax consequences
Access to fostering children
Automatic next-of-kin status for emergency medical decisions and hospital visitation status
Immigration and residency priority for spouses from other countries
Ability to invoke spousal privileges in a court of law
Access to reduced rate memberships at health clubs, social clubs, organizations
Prison visitation rights
*Reserved solely for unions that consist of one man and one woman.
See below for what is granted to same-sex couples.
YOU GET NOTHING!