Blonde Guys
What I want to know is how it is that being blonde became equivalent with being rather dim? In any event my sister, the Might Mite's Cool Aunt S., sent me this one:
An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. When lunch-time came each one opened his meal and exclaimed in annoyance:
"Not corned beef and cabbage!" said O'Connor. "Why, if I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."
"Burritos again!" said Gutierrez, "If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
When Casey opened his lunch he too said, "Bologna! Not bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too. Finally, when the Blonde Guy opened his lunch and saw bologna, he too threw himself from the building and died.
At the funeral, Mrs. O'Donnel wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"
Sra. Gutierrez sobbed also, saying, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
Everyone turned and stared at the Blonde Guy's wife.
"Don't look at me," she said grimly, "Casey packs his own lunch."
*********
Which reminds me of a story of the blonde guy teenager[1] who loved "baloney" sandwiches. Every day he insisted on taking a "baloney" sandwich to lunch, all through elementary school and junior high.
Finally, high school came and he wanted to buy a lunch in the school cafeteria, and his mother indulged him with lunch money.
He came home ravenous, complaining that the school had offered nothing he wanted to eat.
"But what about sandwiches?" his mother asked him. "Didn't they have any--"
"No, nothing," he complained. "Only this weird "bologna" stuff."
Needless to say his older brothers never let him live it down. And neither have their children...
[1] Except this one really happened and the name has been changed to protect the guilty.
An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. When lunch-time came each one opened his meal and exclaimed in annoyance:
"Not corned beef and cabbage!" said O'Connor. "Why, if I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."
"Burritos again!" said Gutierrez, "If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
When Casey opened his lunch he too said, "Bologna! Not bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too. Finally, when the Blonde Guy opened his lunch and saw bologna, he too threw himself from the building and died.
At the funeral, Mrs. O'Donnel wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"
Sra. Gutierrez sobbed also, saying, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
Everyone turned and stared at the Blonde Guy's wife.
"Don't look at me," she said grimly, "Casey packs his own lunch."
*********
Which reminds me of a story of the blonde guy teenager[1] who loved "baloney" sandwiches. Every day he insisted on taking a "baloney" sandwich to lunch, all through elementary school and junior high.
Finally, high school came and he wanted to buy a lunch in the school cafeteria, and his mother indulged him with lunch money.
He came home ravenous, complaining that the school had offered nothing he wanted to eat.
"But what about sandwiches?" his mother asked him. "Didn't they have any--"
"No, nothing," he complained. "Only this weird "bologna" stuff."
Needless to say his older brothers never let him live it down. And neither have their children...
[1] Except this one really happened and the name has been changed to protect the guilty.