only a week
I feel like I've been here forever but it's only been a week. It doesn't feel the same, but maybe 'cause of the eggshells everyone's walking on in this house, maybe 'cause of everything that's to come. I really don't know what's coming. I emailed the grad secretary last week and after contradicting herself, I've established that she hopes to get the letters out this coming week. "Hopes"?! I can't subsist on that! Does she know what that letter means to me, regardless of what it says?! Of course she doesn't.
I call Lucas on the days I'm not scheduled to call. It feels a bit more fun (almost spontaneous but not quite, 'cause I spend the evening thinking about and waiting to call him) that way. We have a pact to not get mad at each other while we're apart. Doing this helps. Joy is lying in bed, talking in the dark before drifting off into my nocturnal slumber.
44 days to go.
Suddenly, that doesn't sound so ominous anymore but until it becomes a single digit, I can't help but keep counting obsessively. But knowing me, I'll be obsessive till the very end.