1/3 gone
so this max thing is done. i'm over it. not interested anymore. i don't know what my problem with guys is. deep emotional scaring from childhood trauma? and i was talking to josh online yesterday and he was like i can't believe you are still friends with me, which i can't believe myself. we came to the lovely conclusion that we have been hooking up for seven years, which is 1/3 of our lives. very pathetic really. i mean when am i going to get to the point where i am really done. REALLY DONE. and i always get to this point where i am like oh six months good job, but then no no back to same old. so what do i have to go like two years before i know i'm done? so van is getting married in june and one of my other friends is too now, can't disclose the information i am sworn to secreracy until we are back in gville. she is lucky i am not there now bc i have a big mouth. i can't wait to go back. i hate new orleans. it is a gross smelly dirty town with lots of homeless people and hicks. i like my family and the people are work with are cool, not really people i would want to be friends with on a regular basis though. i miss florida though. i think i just hate it here so much. i've kinda been figuring out the plan for my life for the next few years. it think i am going to dissapear with danna to israel all of next summer. then italy and prague the next summer. and i have decided i want to apply for grad school at this school in england after that. oh yes i do have two more years at UF, not one. well maybe I could make it one and a half, but I don't know if I am all about that. We will see, I work on it a little more each day. blah. less than a month till i spend a weekend in otown and then back to gville. You better watch out because I will be back with a vengeance.