Going mad but not in the way I'd like.
I'm not totally sure on this one, but I'm thinking the very worst thing you can ever ever tell yourself is don't freak out. It's like the more you tell yourself to calm down and not freak out the more you freak out. So another fun night of rolling around not sleeping well and having to tell myself it would be retarded to kill yourself over a tooth. Got so tired of telling myself that crap that I thought about calling one of those suicide hot lines just to hear in some voice other than my own.
Ugh between not sleeping well and being too paranoid to eat right I'm having a hell of a time on the crazy train.
Called the dentist office just now and they are going to look at it 10:30 am Tuesday. My terror of dentist doesn't seem much better, I know insurance will never cover it all, and about $500 is the most I could may scramble up on my own. But still I've got to get some relief from my own insanity. Once I get something done where I can sleep and eat then I can figure out my next move.
Just got to remember I've been threw far worse hells but I'm still living. Gods damn it though I'm also full of self loathing because if I hadn't made a lot of mistakes in life I wouldn't have that gods damn debit repayment program that keeps me so impoverished I can't deal with emergencies like this.
Still people far worse off than me so I need to man up and just take it, survive, live to scratch and claw my way to another day.
Ugh between not sleeping well and being too paranoid to eat right I'm having a hell of a time on the crazy train.
Called the dentist office just now and they are going to look at it 10:30 am Tuesday. My terror of dentist doesn't seem much better, I know insurance will never cover it all, and about $500 is the most I could may scramble up on my own. But still I've got to get some relief from my own insanity. Once I get something done where I can sleep and eat then I can figure out my next move.
Just got to remember I've been threw far worse hells but I'm still living. Gods damn it though I'm also full of self loathing because if I hadn't made a lot of mistakes in life I wouldn't have that gods damn debit repayment program that keeps me so impoverished I can't deal with emergencies like this.
Still people far worse off than me so I need to man up and just take it, survive, live to scratch and claw my way to another day.