Obstacles
http://www.dailygood.org/more.php?n=3689
This is a big focus point for me lately. I'm in that stage in my marriage were I think maybe if I can just stop doing ____, or ___ more, or treat him more ___, there will be a chain reaction and he will magically awaken and improve. Matt is at a weird stage right now, where he is listening to what I have to say and often acting on it. Problem is, I have a lot to say. He can't possibly memorize and not do all the things that upset me..he needs to learn how to think about other people instead. This doesn't seem to have occurred to him. And I get still have a lot of my day ruined trying to control the temper tantrums I have while cleaning up the basement. I guess its like how mom feels when she works out, which would help me except she hasn't found a way around it either. I get really upset and nitpicky, which of course is not encouraging him to work on not being so useless.
Anyway, I mostly wanted to write this to see if something would come to mind about how to make it better. The only thing that works is to make him help me clean, which still puts a damper on my mood and tends to make me criticize him because he doesn't work very hard, so isn't really a great solution. I can't get him to clean it by himself, I guess the only decent options is just to clean it so often it can't get to the point where it makes me angry. Thats kind of a doomed plan though, something always comes up.
I don't know how I got into this.
This is a big focus point for me lately. I'm in that stage in my marriage were I think maybe if I can just stop doing ____, or ___ more, or treat him more ___, there will be a chain reaction and he will magically awaken and improve. Matt is at a weird stage right now, where he is listening to what I have to say and often acting on it. Problem is, I have a lot to say. He can't possibly memorize and not do all the things that upset me..he needs to learn how to think about other people instead. This doesn't seem to have occurred to him. And I get still have a lot of my day ruined trying to control the temper tantrums I have while cleaning up the basement. I guess its like how mom feels when she works out, which would help me except she hasn't found a way around it either. I get really upset and nitpicky, which of course is not encouraging him to work on not being so useless.
Anyway, I mostly wanted to write this to see if something would come to mind about how to make it better. The only thing that works is to make him help me clean, which still puts a damper on my mood and tends to make me criticize him because he doesn't work very hard, so isn't really a great solution. I can't get him to clean it by himself, I guess the only decent options is just to clean it so often it can't get to the point where it makes me angry. Thats kind of a doomed plan though, something always comes up.
I don't know how I got into this.