FIC: Out of Excuses (LotRPS)

[caras_galadhon]

Title: Out of Excuses
Author: Galadriel (caras_galadhon)
Fandom: LotRPS
Pairing: Bean/Viggo
Rating: G
Archive: Lothlorien, sons_of_gondor, and Green OpalsFeedback: Always appreciated

Comments

[ribby]

Oh, this is a lovely finish to the series... touch and words linked, uncertain but knowing that the overtures *have* to be made, that they can't go on like this. And the dual "dialogue" of Viggo's words and Sean's thoughts... gorgeous! And I hope Sean gets his chance to say all this, because he needs to say it and Viggo needs to hear it. But they're well on their way to being whole again.

trace lines of life given up too soon. A careful smile, mate to touch, exhaled breath renewing stale devotions forever kept.

I think that's my favorite line of the whole thing--poetic and elegant, tentative but resolving into joy.

*happy sigh* Thank you for making my Monday better!

~Kris

[caras_galadhon]

Oh, thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

I think that's my favorite line of the whole thing--poetic and elegant, tentative but resolving into joy.
*blush* *scuffs toe* Aww, thanks! ^_^

Thank you for making my Monday better!
Thank you for making mine better by letting me know you enjoyed the fic! *hugs*

(I have one tiny question, though, that I'm hoping you won't mind me asking, since it's something I fussed over, but Barb said worked out fine. Do you read the last line as spoken or thought?)

[ribby]

I read it both ways, actually... thought then spoken. Thought because, I think, of the italics, and then spoken because of the quotes. I had the idea that Sean had thought that response first, and then blurted it out, unexpectedly. Does that help?

Either way, I think it works really well.

~Kris

[caras_galadhon]

I had the idea that Sean had thought that response first, and then blurted it out, unexpectedly. Does that help?
That does, yes, and I really like that interpretation! *G* Thanks! I was more worried that people would miss the quote marks and assume it was a non-articulated thought, but if it reads as both, then great! Thank you!

[makamu]

What Kris said. I especially loved the point-counterpoint structure of the words Viggo uses and Sean's mental responses to it. Very well-done, as always

[caras_galadhon]

Thank you! I'm really pleased you liked it! *hugs* (I have a quick question, though, because it was something I fussed over, and Barb said worked out just fine, but I'm starting to second guess myself with yours and Kris' responses -- do you read the last line as spoken or thought?)

[makamu]

I have a quick question, though, because it was something I fussed over, and Barb said worked out just fine, but I'm starting to second guess myself with yours and Kris' responses -- do you read the last line as spoken or thought?

Hmm, both actually :) That is to say I read it as a thought in the moment I catch it while reading but I read as one thought that will be articulated the second after I finished reading, so to speak... Does this make sense?

[caras_galadhon]

I read it as a thought in the moment I catch it while reading but I read as one thought that will be articulated the second after I finished reading, so to speak... Does this make sense?
It absolutely does, and I think that's a wonderful reading. Phew! I was mostly worried that people would miss the quote marks on that line (as compared with the other italicized ones) and assume it was a thought only. I'm relieved it's not coming off that way, and I love your interpretation! Thank you!

[liars_dance]

*sighs* Now that was as damn near as perfect a drabble in itself and end to a series as I have read. It was so tentative yet honest and like Kris I just loved that 'lines of life given up too soon' line; just brilliant - and those 'stale devotions foreer kept...' *tears up*

And for the record, I most definitely did read that last line of Sean's as spoken; if it wasn't I'd rather not know!! Wonderful writing - as always.

[caras_galadhon]

Oh, wow. Thank you for the high praise! I'm so glad you liked it, and I'm thrilled it seems to fit well as an end point. *G*

And for the record, I most definitely did read that last line of Sean's as spoken
Phew. Great. I wrote it as spoken (the rest as thought), but italicized it to both make it stand out and more closely echo the first line -- the flashback -- in Out of Exile: a sort of mirror of that past event in the present as well as (hopefully) a glimpse of the future. (Um, I might be prone to overthinking things. *G*) Of course, this led to me worrying that the italicization of that line might lead people to assume it was thought, given that's what the other italicized lines in the drabble are. But it sounds like it's worked out ok, so unless confusion reigns, it stays italicized. ^_~

[liars_dance]

High praise given because high praise is due. The whole series has been incredible - especially when you think there is only 600 words in total counting Out of Time (which, incidentally, still makes me cry each time I read it). *applauds*

[caras_galadhon]

*blush* You're very, very kind. ...Good lord, it has only been 600 words, hasn't it? O_o It seems like more, somehow.

(which, incidentally, still makes me cry each time I read it)
*cough* Sorry about that. *hangs head* (Although I am pleased it's still affecting, even after more than one read. *G*)

[alex_quine]

Tight, spare - too much hurt/suspicion for an excess of words and characters who know one another so well they're almost working in their own private shorthand.

I read the last line as thought because I'd been trained to read it that way by the convention already set up. (The quotation marks didn't 'read' against the rhythm.) I didn't and don't see this as a 'problem.' It is a more ambiguous ending, but means that there is more of an impetus to carry on the series. I prefer to read it as thought, but that's only a personal reading.
Thanks for posting.

[caras_galadhon]

Thank you! I'm pleased it worked out all right. *G*

I read the last line as thought because I'd been trained to read it that way by the convention already set up.
Hmm. Ok. That was what I was worried would happen, although I provided a little more background as to what I was thinking when I chose both quotes and italics in a comment to Heath here. I was worried more about confusion than a conscious choice to read that last line one way or the other, and I'm not heavily invested in authorial intent as the be-all and end-all anyway, so... ^_^

It is a more ambiguous ending, but means that there is more of an impetus to carry on the series.
Eeek. *hides* Well, um... I don't think there's anything after this one, since this is the end point I was working towards from the getgo. savageseraph was hopelessly evil in suggesting I should now write Viggo's POV for all five parts (not including Out of Time, of course), but that was as far ahead as I'd thought, and I haven't really decided to do that yet either

[fawsley]

Every one of these has been a different glistening facet of larger jewel - every one beautiful in itself, every one working together to create a shimmering glorious whole.

I don't know if that makes sense or whether it really says what I want to say.

It's obvious how very much care and effort has gone into their creation. The whole series is quite utterly wonderful.

[caras_galadhon]

Thank you so much, Faws. Yes, it makes sense, and it's high praise indeed. You're very, very kind, and I'm so pleased you liked the whole series.