On further review: Dark Side of the Moon (meta and fic)
Yesterday I was blessed with the opportunity to watch 5.16, "Dark Side of the Moon," on TNT. The scene near the end, where the angel Joshua tells the Winchesters that God knows what's going on and isn't going to do anything and wants them to stop bugging him… well, it hits harder in light of what we learn about Chuck at the end of s14, doesn't it? At the time I thought Joshua was describing a God-the-clockmaker role, a God who just wanted to let his creation run on its own. But now we know that Chuck wasn't just declining to fix things for the Winchesters. He was actively setting them up and enjoying the drama. And yes, I'm sure the writers weren't thinking about how things would play out nine seasons later when they wrote that scene. It's just nice that the Continuity Fairy gave us this unintentional gift.
Other amazing things about this episode include: Dean having to watch Sam get shot, "I Wuv Hugz," Sam's kicked-puppy face, and "I'm dead"/"Condolences."
Another thing that struck me was how hard Pamela tried to get Dean to accept that if he let Michael use him as a vessel, the inevitable deaths of thousands (millions?) of people wasn't anything to be concerned about.
I know that Michael wants to take you out for a test drive… {snip} What happens if you play ball with them? Worst case.
A lot of people die.
And then they come here. Is that really so bad? Look. Maybe… you don't have to fight it so hard. That's all I'm trying to say.
And immediately after that conversation, Ash finds a "short cut to the Garden" that, oddly enough, opens right into the old Lawrence house where they'll be caught by Zachariah.
So I wondered why we ever thought any of this was real. Why we didn't all decide Pamela and Ash were both fabrications created by Zachariah. And then I realized that I had already come to this conclusion, and had ficced it. But where? It's not on my LJ anywhere. I think I posted it in the comments to someone else's post. Probably kalliel; I think she's the only one whose comments I abused in that particular manner. But I found it in my files, and I present it to you now. I don't know when I wrote it, but I see it was probably right after we met Joshua 2.0 in s14. Apparently it was in response to some discussion about Sam and Dean being soulmates with a shared Heaven:
~~~
I need Sam and Cas to have this conversation. I need Cas to say "wait, what? Ash? In Heaven? But I thought you understood…" and I need Sam to look at him, confused, and say "understood what?" and Cas sighs sadly because he didn't want to have this conversation, he never wanted to have this conversation, but it looks like Sam missed something important, and he deserves to know.
"Sam," he says, "I thought you and Dean both realized that everything you saw in Heaven - all of it - was engineered by Zachariah. Who was this Ash person in real life? What did he tell you?"
"He's someone we knew a long time ago. Not really a hunter, just an amazing researcher. He helped us sometimes. He told us - in Heaven, he told us we were soulmates, and so we'd be sharing the same Heaven. That most people have their own solitary Heaven, but we'd share one."
"Mm hm. And who else did you see there, and what did they tell you?"
"The psychic, Pamela, the one with the…" Sam motions briefly toward his eyes, then quickly drops his hand to his side. "She, ah, she died because she helped us with something. She was there, with Ash. She forgave us. She said her Heaven was amazing."
"Who else? What were your own Heavens like?"
"Dean's were with Mom, when he was a little kid. And one time when we were young, and we set off fireworks." Sam looks away guiltily. "Mine were… they weren't so… there was this time I had Thanksgiving dinner with a girlfriend; it was the first real actual Thanksgiving I'd ever had. And there was a time I ran away, and I don't even know… I mean, yeah, it was good, but I was scared and lonely and it was awful too. And then the night I told them about Stanford, and Dad kicked me out…" He shoves his hands in his pockets as his voice trails off.
Cas feels everything falling into place. "Don't you get it, Sam? All of that was orchestrated by Zachariah. None of it was real. He arranged for those two hunters to kill you. He scripted your memories for Heaven. Everything, down to the last detail, was Zachariah's doing."
Sam's brow furrows. "But why?"
"Think about it. Zachariah was trying to convince Dean to become Michael's vessel for a battle with Lucifer that would most likely result in your death, along with the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people on earth. Everything Zachariah showed him in Heaven was meant to get him to believe certain things." He counts them off on his fingers. "One: You had always been unhappy, and had been pulling away from him your entire life. And would probably continue to do so. Two: When the two of you died, you would share a Heaven. No matter what happened on earth, you'd be together for all eternity; no unhappiness, no pulling away. Three: The people he knew who died, whose deaths he felt responsible for, forgave him. They enjoyed their afterlives. There was no reason for him to feel guilty about the deaths of others. Do you see? All of it was meant to convince Dean to say yes."
"But why just Dean and not…" Sam pauses and gives a quick little nod. "Oh, yeah, I get it. He didn't have to work on me. Everyone assumed I'd say yes."
"No, Sam. Zachariah didn't have to work on you because he knew Lucifer would. He knew Lucifer would have access to your mind, that he'd take liberties that Michael couldn't or wouldn't with Dean. And he was right, wasn't he?"
Sam doesn't answer, but his silence is answer enough. He examines his boots for a while, then looks up and meets Cas's eyes. "But Joshua was real, wasn't he? I mean, he rescued us from Zachariah, didn't he?"
"Yes," Cas nods. "Joshua was very real."
"And he's an older black guy, right? Not that weirdo we met at the secret stairway to Heaven?"
"Pfft." Cas laughs. "That guy? I don't know who the fuck that was. Let's just forget that ever happened, okay?"
Sam chuckles. "Agreed."
~~~
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Dean was angry and hurt that Sam's "Heaven" seemed to be all about leaving him behind, and yet it's okay that his own "Heaven" was one of the worst days of his mother's life. I love Dean, y'all know I do, but this is some messed-up hypocritical crap. As far as I'm concerned, both of their "Heavens" were awful. Sam experiences his first ever "real" Thanksgiving as a teenager? His home life (if one can call it that) is so awful that squatting in an abandoned house is preferable? He's only able to break out of the "family business" that he abhors when his father disowns him? None of this is good. They both should have realized they were being manipulated.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Screencaps from Home of the Nutty, edited by me.
Other amazing things about this episode include: Dean having to watch Sam get shot, "I Wuv Hugz," Sam's kicked-puppy face, and "I'm dead"/"Condolences."
Another thing that struck me was how hard Pamela tried to get Dean to accept that if he let Michael use him as a vessel, the inevitable deaths of thousands (millions?) of people wasn't anything to be concerned about.
I know that Michael wants to take you out for a test drive… {snip} What happens if you play ball with them? Worst case.
A lot of people die.
And then they come here. Is that really so bad? Look. Maybe… you don't have to fight it so hard. That's all I'm trying to say.
And immediately after that conversation, Ash finds a "short cut to the Garden" that, oddly enough, opens right into the old Lawrence house where they'll be caught by Zachariah.
So I wondered why we ever thought any of this was real. Why we didn't all decide Pamela and Ash were both fabrications created by Zachariah. And then I realized that I had already come to this conclusion, and had ficced it. But where? It's not on my LJ anywhere. I think I posted it in the comments to someone else's post. Probably kalliel; I think she's the only one whose comments I abused in that particular manner. But I found it in my files, and I present it to you now. I don't know when I wrote it, but I see it was probably right after we met Joshua 2.0 in s14. Apparently it was in response to some discussion about Sam and Dean being soulmates with a shared Heaven:
~~~
I need Sam and Cas to have this conversation. I need Cas to say "wait, what? Ash? In Heaven? But I thought you understood…" and I need Sam to look at him, confused, and say "understood what?" and Cas sighs sadly because he didn't want to have this conversation, he never wanted to have this conversation, but it looks like Sam missed something important, and he deserves to know.
"Sam," he says, "I thought you and Dean both realized that everything you saw in Heaven - all of it - was engineered by Zachariah. Who was this Ash person in real life? What did he tell you?"
"He's someone we knew a long time ago. Not really a hunter, just an amazing researcher. He helped us sometimes. He told us - in Heaven, he told us we were soulmates, and so we'd be sharing the same Heaven. That most people have their own solitary Heaven, but we'd share one."
"Mm hm. And who else did you see there, and what did they tell you?"
"The psychic, Pamela, the one with the…" Sam motions briefly toward his eyes, then quickly drops his hand to his side. "She, ah, she died because she helped us with something. She was there, with Ash. She forgave us. She said her Heaven was amazing."
"Who else? What were your own Heavens like?"
"Dean's were with Mom, when he was a little kid. And one time when we were young, and we set off fireworks." Sam looks away guiltily. "Mine were… they weren't so… there was this time I had Thanksgiving dinner with a girlfriend; it was the first real actual Thanksgiving I'd ever had. And there was a time I ran away, and I don't even know… I mean, yeah, it was good, but I was scared and lonely and it was awful too. And then the night I told them about Stanford, and Dad kicked me out…" He shoves his hands in his pockets as his voice trails off.
Cas feels everything falling into place. "Don't you get it, Sam? All of that was orchestrated by Zachariah. None of it was real. He arranged for those two hunters to kill you. He scripted your memories for Heaven. Everything, down to the last detail, was Zachariah's doing."
Sam's brow furrows. "But why?"
"Think about it. Zachariah was trying to convince Dean to become Michael's vessel for a battle with Lucifer that would most likely result in your death, along with the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people on earth. Everything Zachariah showed him in Heaven was meant to get him to believe certain things." He counts them off on his fingers. "One: You had always been unhappy, and had been pulling away from him your entire life. And would probably continue to do so. Two: When the two of you died, you would share a Heaven. No matter what happened on earth, you'd be together for all eternity; no unhappiness, no pulling away. Three: The people he knew who died, whose deaths he felt responsible for, forgave him. They enjoyed their afterlives. There was no reason for him to feel guilty about the deaths of others. Do you see? All of it was meant to convince Dean to say yes."
"But why just Dean and not…" Sam pauses and gives a quick little nod. "Oh, yeah, I get it. He didn't have to work on me. Everyone assumed I'd say yes."
"No, Sam. Zachariah didn't have to work on you because he knew Lucifer would. He knew Lucifer would have access to your mind, that he'd take liberties that Michael couldn't or wouldn't with Dean. And he was right, wasn't he?"
Sam doesn't answer, but his silence is answer enough. He examines his boots for a while, then looks up and meets Cas's eyes. "But Joshua was real, wasn't he? I mean, he rescued us from Zachariah, didn't he?"
"Yes," Cas nods. "Joshua was very real."
"And he's an older black guy, right? Not that weirdo we met at the secret stairway to Heaven?"
"Pfft." Cas laughs. "That guy? I don't know who the fuck that was. Let's just forget that ever happened, okay?"
Sam chuckles. "Agreed."
~~~
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Dean was angry and hurt that Sam's "Heaven" seemed to be all about leaving him behind, and yet it's okay that his own "Heaven" was one of the worst days of his mother's life. I love Dean, y'all know I do, but this is some messed-up hypocritical crap. As far as I'm concerned, both of their "Heavens" were awful. Sam experiences his first ever "real" Thanksgiving as a teenager? His home life (if one can call it that) is so awful that squatting in an abandoned house is preferable? He's only able to break out of the "family business" that he abhors when his father disowns him? None of this is good. They both should have realized they were being manipulated.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Screencaps from Home of the Nutty, edited by me.