Initial reaction 13.16: "ScoobyNatural"
It's finally here!
We open with Dean being attacked by a giant plush dinosaur, which is hilarious, but also confusing, because I can't remember when this happened. Eventually I realize we're not in the "Then," because this episode doesn't have a "Then." Sam shows up and tackles the dinosaur, freeing Dean to douse it with holy oil and set it on fire. It explodes, leaving the boys puzzled but relieved. Alan, who apparently owns the eclectic store that houses electronics and a giant plush dinosaur and various and sundry (heh) other things, thanks them for saving him.
A sleazy-looking guy named Jay comes over from next door and I immediately know Jay is Up To No Good, but I'm getting ahead of myself. The Winchesters explain that "sometimes the batteries in the giant plush dinosaurs just explode," and Dean comments that you shouldn't ever buy anything from Moosylvania, and I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. Neither does Sam. Alan explains that Jay owns practically everything in the neighborhood. The brothers quietly discuss the fact that they were here hunting for a lizard monster, which probably wasn't this giant plush dinosaur, and the giant plush dinosaur seems to be a cursed object. Alan offers them anything in the store as a thank you, and Sam's all, nah, we're just happy to help, but Dean spots something he wants. Next thing we know, the guys are carrying a giant TV. (Okay, not "giant." I'd guess 40 or 50 inches. But bigger than whatever's in Sam's room.)
Soak up the visuals while you can, friends, because we're not getting a lot in this episode.)
Back at the bunker, Sam's doing research - still in his jacket, it must be cold in the bunker today - when he's interrupted by Dean (also in his jacket) who makes a "Frozen" reference (and is ridiculously proud to have done so) and then says "I need to show you something; it's important."
Saying goodbye to the pretty in 3... 2... 1...
What he has to show Sam is the Dean Cave, or the "Fortress of Deanitude." He's set up a room with a foosball table, a jukebox, a bar, two really awful recliners, and the new TV. He turns on the TV and there are sparks and purple lights and then they're zapped right into the television, where we see them as animated characters. Sam suspects it's a dream, so Dean slaps him and leaves an imprint on his face, and I don't know why that would convince him it's not a dream. "Maybe this is an angel thing," says Dean. "Or the Trickster!" Except. The Trickster was an angel. Dean knows this. So this is stupid and annoying. Sam points out that he's dead, and Dean says "Or is he?" Well, okay, we know he's not dead.
(Sidebar: When I first heard about the Scooby Doo episode last summer, because of course even the Unsullied couldn't avoid the spoilers on this one, I hoped it was going to be someone's coma dream or some other kind of hallucination. And then, when we saw Gabriel had been brought back, I thought perhaps he would be the one to throw them into a TV show. I did not expect Magic Television Zaps The Boys into Scooby Doo.)
Anyway. Sam's all, "what the hell?" and he throws up his hands and Dean rubs the back of his neck and says "I don't know," and I like that these characters have the guys' actual mannerisms. I like that a lot. What I do not like is Dean's animated face. Sam looks fine. But I can't imagine that anyone could look at Jensen's pretty pretty face, his such delicate features for a hunter face, his you sure grew up pretty face, his male model type face, and then look at this blocky hardened 50-year-old 70s cop face and say "yeah, that'll do."
Nope.
But then Dean sees the Impala, which is beautifully animated, and apparently showed up because Dean had the keys in his pocket. Fair enough, although Sam finds it weird, and Dean can't believe this is the part that's throwing him.
Are we animated? Yes. Is it weird? Yes.
It's beyond weird.
Well, and beyond weird is kind of our thing, so. Whatever happened, we'll figure out. This is a case, so let's work it.
How?
Same as always. We drive.
And off they go, and the animation of the Impala driving down the road is so far above Scooby Doo's normal standards that it's not even funny.
Isn't she lovely?
(Sidebar: Here's the deal. I don't like Scooby Doo. Even as a child, I thought it was stupid and repetitive and horribly drawn. I watched it, of course, because that's what you did on Saturday mornings; you watched cartoons, and if Bugs Bunny wasn't on, you watched some crap like Scooby Doo. Especially if you didn't have cable.)
(Sidebar to my sidebar: I will never forget when I was in grade school, back when we finally got cable, and at last I could watch Speed Racer after school like all my classmates did. We watched it religiously, and mocked and loved it with equal fervor. So yeah, I have a history of snarking at television shows that I just cannot quit. But then we moved out into the country and couldn't get cable so my only cartoon time was Saturday mornings again. Those were dark days.)
(But I digress.)
The guys stop at a diner called The Malt Shop and spot the Mystery Machine. We're not just in any cartoon, we're in Scooby Doo! And now we finally get the title card, which is basically an animated version of the S13 title card. It's cute.
Inside The Malt Shop, the guys see the Scooby Gang dancing by the jukebox, while Scooby himself slurps down a milkshake. Dean declares him the greatest talking dog of all time, then calls dibs on Daphne.
Animated plaid. I like it.
Dean is very excited to be here. Sam, not so much.
Man, this is like a dream come true.
Your dream is to hang out with the Scooby gang?
Sam. Growing up on the road, no matter where Dad dragged us, no matter what we did, there was always a TV. And you know what was always on that TV? Scooby and the gang! These guys, they're our freaking role models, man! Except Fred; he's a wad.
He's... what?
Just think about it. We do the same thing! We go to spooky places, we solve mysteries, we fight ghosts.
Yeah, except our ghosts don't wear masks. And we don't have a talking dog!
I don't know. Cas is kinda like a talking dog.
Dean introduces himself and Sam to the gang and asks if they can join them, and while everyone else stares at them suspiciously, Fred immediately welcomes the newcomers and introduces the gang. Dean kisses Daphne's hand, which is the least inappropriate thing he's going to do to Daphne tonight.
The gang is celebrating, because they just found out Scooby (yes, the dog) is heir to a fortune, thanks to a colonel he saved from drowning. The colonel has now died ("Yeah, cancer") and why is that funny? I guess the juxtaposition of this children's cartoon and someone dying of cancer? But yeah, it's pretty damn funny. (Or maybe there's just something wrong with me.)
("Maybe?" Heh.)
Dean pulls Sam aside and tells him to pull the stick out of his "nether regions" (apparently we can't say ass on Scooby Doo, which is also funny) and Sam points out that there are no words in the newspaper and oh my god, you guys, that's some funny stuff right there. This is what I want. I want Sam and Dean fully aware of all the weird cartoon tropes and cliches and shortcuts and I want them to call them all out.
It's funny because it's true.
Sam says they need to work on getting out, and also calls him out for hitting on Daphne, even though she's "clearly with Fred," which has never actually been clear at all. I suspect it's just a friends-with-benefits thing. Anyway. Dean's obsession with Daphne is a nice gift from the Continuity Fairy, because it's come up before, so, well-done, Show. He points out that the last time they were zapped into a TV show, they got out by playing their part. Well, no, not actually. They got out by trapping the angel who zapped them there in the first place. But I'll let that go. Dean figures the gang is about to get a mystery, and he and Sam just need to play along.
Right on cue, Fred says this looks like the beginning of a mystery (what does? Scooby's inheritance?) and Dean asks if they can tag along. Fred agrees, and then Dean indulges in some Scooby & Shaggy-type eating ("Sam! Sam! Look how big my mouth is!")
Next we see the Scooby Gang in the Mystery Machine, and the Winchesters in the Impala, and again, the motion is animated so smoothly that it's almost distracting. It's like the animators said "No, sorry, Fred and the gang can move like they were animated by child laborers, but Baby needs to be beautiful." And who can blame them. Dean challenges Fred to a race, which causes Sam to ask why he hates him so much. "Thinks he's so cool. Him with his perfect hair, his can-do attitude, that stupid ascot." Aw, Dean. You used to be the one with the can-do attitude. Dean ends up losing the race when he chokes on the Mystery Machine's exhaust, and as the Impala finally pulls away from the light, we see a mysterious figure staggering toward it. Ruh roh!
(Sidebar: I really think Dean would like being in Speed Racer. I'm sure Baby could leave the Mach 5 in her dust, even if she doesn't have the James Bond-style gadgets.)
The guys arrive at the colonel's mansion, and Dean immediately recognizes it. "A Night of Fright is No Delight. That's the episode we're in! I've seen it like a million times!" (Okay, but it's also the mansion shown at the beginning of every single episode of Sccoby Doo, so.)
Inside, creepy and appropriately-named attorney Cosgood Creeps announces that the late Colonel Sanders (Asmodeus shout-out?) left a record to be played for his heirs. The recording is the colonel himself, announcing that each of his heirs (four cousins and Scooby) will receive an equal share of the inheritance, providing they spend the night in his haunted mansion. Anyone who doesn't spend the night will forfeit their share. You know, if I had more than one kid, I'd make that kind of will. You guys fight it out, winner takes all, remember Mama loved you.
Poor Sam continues to use real-world logic, wondering what kind of weirdo would set this up. Velma assures him the house isn't really haunted, and also, things like this happen all the time. "Maybe in a cartoon," Sam starts to retort, but Dean stops him and insists they don't tell the gang they're in a "c-word," and there's a real world, and monsters are real. "They are pure, and innocent, and good, and we're gonna keep it that way."
Guys. Animated Sam is really growing on me. His hair even looks better than some Real Sam episodes. Dean still looks pretty bad.
Cosgood Creeps takes his creepy leave, complete with evil laugh.
Turns out, he's the bad guy.
You don't say.
Hee!
The clock chimes ten and one of the cousins says they should all go to bed. Dean grabs Daphne and suggests they "bunk together," which she blows off as too silly for words, since boys and girls don't sleep in the same room. I don't know if Daphne's supposed to be truly clueless about Dean's advances, or if this is her clever way of cutting him off at the knees, but either way, I like it. For different reasons.
In the boy room, Sam changes into yellow pajamas, which might seem ridiculous until Dean comes out in his "sleeping robe" and hat. Meanwhile, in the girl room, Daphne declares the new guys "groovy" (which I guess makes her clueless), while Velma says Dean's all right, but "that big lug, what a dummy!" Damn, Velma, that's cold. Also, damn, Velma, I don't remember you ever looking like this.
Why you hiding that slammin' bod under that big sweater?
(Sidebar: We seem to be going with the gang from the original 60s series, "Scooby Doo, Where Are You?" and not the later reboot, since Daphne's dress is the original drop-waist style and not the reboot wrap dress, and Fred's shirt doesn't have a blue stripe. And yet sexed-up Velma, wearing her new close-fitting sweater instead of the original baggy one, is straight out of the reboot.)
(Sidebar to my sidebar: Oh god, I know way too much about Scooby Doo. The Kid went through a phase. It was a dark time.)
Velma mocks Sam's belief in ghosts, and his big-lugness, while Daphne says she thought big lugs were "kinda your thing." Which Velma blushingly denies. (It's okay, Velma. He's irresistible. You don't have to deny it.)
We see one of the cousins in his room, with a knife handily stuck in a block of cheese or bread or something (seriously, dude, don't leave weapons lying about for the ghost). The room gets cold (and oh, this is not a Scooby Doo thing, because of course their ghosts are never real, and I love that we're getting a real Supernatural bleed into Scooby Doo) and the ghost ganks the cousin.
There's a clever segue where the screaming cousin morphs into yawning Scooby, and we're back in the boy room. Sam is annoyed that Dean is eating, but Dean knows exactly what's going to happen next: they'll find out Cousin Semple is missing, they'll think it's a ghost, but it will turn out to be the creepy attorney.
(Sidebar: Another gift from the Continuity Fairy is the way Dean effortlessly assimilates into the cartoon world, and the way Sam fights it and points out all the inconsistencies. Because Sam's all "how is this will even legal" and Dean's all "of course I'm gonna stretch my mouth around a giant sandwich." It's lovely.)
There's a scream, and Fred leads the new gang to check it out. The girls join in, and they all find Cousin Semple, not missing, but lying on the floor of his room. Dean is confused, because the dummy bodies aren't supposed to show up just yet. Sam touches the body and holds up a bloody hand to show that it's not a dummy body, and oh god, Sam's bloody palm is another big dose of Supernatural inside this candy-coating of Scooby Doo, and it's awesome.
This is the quality content I'm looking for.
Then Velma pulls back the covers to reveal the bloody body with a knife stuck in its back and it's even more awesome.
He's dead, like really, actually dead!
Jinkies!
Jeepers!
Zoinks!
Ruh roh!
Son of a bitch!
OH MY GOD. Everybody's catch phrase. It's perfection.
Fred cheerfully declares that they have another mystery on their hands, and Sam's all "Fred, are you kidding me? Dude, someone's dead. A little respect." Also, everyone is mysteriously out of their pajamas and in street clothes now. I mean, time could have passed during the commercial, but that would mean Sam went and changed before he covered the body. Oh well. It's something that happens on the actual show all the time, so. Continuity?
Velma says they should go look for evidence, like fingerprints or fluids, and Sam is somehow grossed out at "fluids." After the gang leaves, Dean insists this is not what happened in the actual episode. Sam points out that if Cousin Semple can die for real, so can they. Dean is more concerned with the possibility that Scooby Doo could die, saying "I'd take a bullet for that dog." And Dean doesn't even like dogs. They catch up with the gang, and as Velma repeats that there are no ghosts, we see a lot of lightning outside, silhouetting a mysterious figure who raises his arms in a scary way, and remember before when we've seen flashes of light silhouette kind of like this? That's right. The figure enters, and the Winchesters are poised to grab him but Fred jumps in first (aw, Fred, you and your can-do attitude) and it turns out to be Castiel.
Nicely done, Show.
Cas explains that he got to the bunker after returning from Syria (with fruit from the Tree of Life and possibly a marriage to the queen of the djinn who were guarding the tree) and found the TV showing the animated versions of Sam and Dean, and then there were purple sparks and he was zapped into the television. The purple sparks make Sam think of the "killer stuffed dinosaur," which must be related. Velma mocks the idea of a killer stuffed dinosaur, and the guys have to backtrack and claim it's from a book they're writing.
Then the lights start flashing and the room gets cold, and the Scooby gang may not know what's happening, but we do. The gang heads out into a hallway, where there's a spray of blood through a barely-opened door and then the ghost appears. Sam and Dean prepare to fight it, but again, Fred charges in before they can. Fred's a real go-getter, I've got to say. Of course, he sails right through the ghost, which then disappears through a wall. Velma insists there must be a hidden door, because of course there's no such thing as ghosts. They open the door the ghost came out of and are greeted by an absolute nightmare: Cosgrove Creeps's severed head and legs on the floor, and his body suspended from the ceiling.
"Well, that's not good," Fred says cheerfully, as Dean tries not to vomit. Ha! More Supernatural-level violence, rendered Scooby Doo style, and I love it. "Come on, gang!" Fred says, leading them away from the scene. Poor Sam is still applying real-world logic to the situation and is befuddled that they're just walking away from a dead body. Dean points out the lights on the fritz and the cold spots, and says this cartoon is haunted, as if they hadn't already figured that out. Or did they? I thought they had, but maybe I'm wrong.
Fred decides they should separate and look for clues, and poor Sam still tries to use real-world logic on them, saying it will be easier for him and Dean to keep the gang safe if they all stay together. Because Sam's used to being seen as The Hero Who Came to Save Us, and not That Crazy Guy Who Believes in Ghosts. Oh, poor Sammy. Velma mocks him again, saying she's surprised that a "big broad-shouldered guy like you" is a coward like Shaggy. You're not fooling anyone, Velma. Just sayin'.
The guys agree to split up, so Dean goes with Daphne and Fred, while Sam is drafted by Velma (hey, we all know she's the smart one.) Cas is disgruntles to find himself with Shaggy and Scooby. "Wonderful. I once led armies, and now I'm paired with a scruffy Philistine and a talking dog." Hee!
Velma instructs Sam to keep "those giant linebacker shoulders" from knocking over any clues as they search the attic, and we all see what's going on here, Velma. You're only fooling yourself. "Why do you keep talking about my shoulders?" he asks, because as usual he's completely oblivious when someone is smitten with him, and she blushes and looks away.
And in that moment, we were all Velma.
Velma's taunting is finally too much for Sam, and he tells her ghosts are real. Along with werewolves, vampires, and demons. She just laughs.
Look, Sam. The simple fact is, monsters are nothing more than crooks in masks. Usually unscrupulous real estate developers.
One, there are way better real estate scams. And two -
I love this poke at the Scooby Doo cliche of someone pretending to be a ghost or monster in order to get hold of some real estate. And I love Sam's real-world logic insisting that there are better ways to do that. But he's interrupted when Velma discovers a clue - a chest of toys. Velma notices the toys are the only thing in the attic that isn't dusty, and Sam notices they're dripping with ectoplasm. He explains that it's left behind by ghosts, and Velma's denial seems pointless when the toys start to float and glow purple. She still tries, though, saying it's probably Christmas lights and fishing line. Because it would be, if you weren't here, Sam.
Meanwhile, Dean, Daphne, and Fred search through the main rooms. Dean asks Daphne what she looks for in a guy (complete with self-conscious little back-of-the-head rub) and she says "Strong, sincere... and an ascot wouldn't hurt."
And then they do the thing I longed for, when Dean sees this book.
Yeah, you recognize this.
And then this happens:
Take out that book.
There are a lot of books in here, Dean.
That one. The one that isn't painted into the background of the car- the library. The library.
Because this is such a THING on Scooby Doo, the way the secret book or the loose board or whatever part of the scenery has to move stands out. I understand it's not part of the background, but does that mean they have to paint it a completely different color? And how do the characters never notice it?
Removing the book opens a trap door that sends them down a chute. They land in the dark, and all we see are their eyes. As one does, in a cartoon. "Daphne, are you okay?" Dean asks, approaching a pair of eyes. "Maybe I should just give you a once-over to make sure." Then the lights are flipped on and we see Dean's hand is actually inappropriately fondling the ghost.
Dude.
And the last group creeps through the basement. Shaggy and Scooby notice it's cold, so of course the ghost shows up. "I've never seen a ghost wear such a ridiculous costume," Cas says, poking it in the nose (and therefore discovering it's actually a ghost.) Seriously, I don't know why they haven't all accepted it's a ghost. They run, and then we get the classic Scooby Doo chase scene, complete with (awful) theme song, French slamming-door farce, Dean leering at Daphne as she boards up a door, running past repeating backgrounds, and popping out of giant vases.
Sadly, this is as close as Dean gets.
(Sidebar: You know what cartoon had a great theme song? Speed Racer. I mean, listen to it. Listen to that brass. That's an awesome theme song.)
The Husband is amused that they're pulling out all the Scooby Doo cliches, and I'm thinking yes, but I don't want Sam and Dean in an episode of Scooby Doo. I want the Scooby Doo gang in an episode of Supernatural. I want arterial blood spray, I want the "monsters are real" speech. And then they all run into a room and I get my wish. It starts with Sam and Dean slamming the doors shut.
Doesn't this look very much like a scene from Supernatural?
"We have to stop this ghost!" Fred says.
"We almost did!" says Daphne. "Dean had him by the thigh!"
Oh god. That's funny.
Velma says again that there's no such thing as ghosts, but then her breath fogs and her glasses frost over, and then the windows frost over and the lights flicker, and it's ghost time! The door bursts open and the ghost enters, with yellow glowing eyes. Fred charges him again, and gets flung into a marble bust. He falls to the floor, unconscious. Now this is Supernatural! (And for once it's not Sam.) Then Velma and Daphne are suspended on the wall, demon style, by the thing with yellow eyes! Hoo boy! Then Shaggy is flung out the window. Sam finds a pair of iron candlesticks and tosses one to Dean. They plunge them into the ghost, who zaps out in a burst of purple sparks.
Also of note: I wish I could take credit for this, but I saw it on Tumblr. There are paintings of the Archangel Michael in this room. I can't even.
Oh, you clever, clever show.
Outside, Shaggy has been hanging on to a precarious bit of trim, but just as the gang notices, it starts to collapse and he falls. Scooby jumps after him, and Cas jumps after Scooby. He's able to break Shaggy's fall somewhat, but he still ends up with a broken arm. "What? That's not - I have jumped out of a biplane in a museum, and was fine! How did this happen?" And how did Fred get flung across the room? The gang is befuddled. Welcome to Supernatural, Scooby gang. (Although they don't get hurt nearly as often as they should, it's still more often than you do.)
Velma rigs up some kind of splint for Shaggy's arm, but I don't really want to talk about that right now, I want to talk about the fact that I'm finding animated Sam disturbingly attractive right now.
Please tell me it's not just me.
Sam insists they need to tell them the truth, so Dean gives them the "monsters are real" speech, to my delight. Velma is furious at herself for being "so stupid," and Fred is beside himself. "We've been stopping real estate developers when we could have been hunting Dracula?" he wails, bashing his head against a tree. "Are you kidding me? My life is meaningless!" (Fred, you're awesome. Don't ever change.) And Daphne just freaks the fuck out. "If there are ghosts, that means there's an afterlife! Heaven! Hell! Am I going to hell?" But Shaggy is vindicated. "We told you, every freaking time, but did you ever listen to Scoob and me? No!"
I LOVE THIS.
Dean gives them a pep talk, reminding them that they've fought monsters, going through some of their greatest hits (and once again I'm distracted by the disturbing hotness of animated Sam behind him).
If I had a dollar for every time I've said "Seriously, I have a problem" on these reviews." But I've got to admit, this is a new one.
He tells them they're heroes, and they'll all take this ghost down together. But how, asks Velma, since they don't know anything and don't have the proper tools or weapons? "That's okay," says hot animated Sam. "We do." Cut to the iconic trunk-POV shot!
Odd that the trunk is neatly arranged, Sam-style.
Sam offers Velma a shotgun, but Dean stops him, saying that's a "Scooby don't." They can't use weapons, but bleep yeah they can still help. He wants the gang to do what they do best: build a trap. (I don't really understand the point of the bleep here? It would have been funny if he were saying something they say on Supernatural that they don't say on Scooby Doo, but that's not the case.)
Anyway. We see Daphne pouring salt around the perimeter of a room while Fred explains the trap. It involves a bag of coconuts. "Where'd he get coconuts?" Sam asks. I'm sure you're tired of me saying this, but I absofreakinglutely love Sam's continued puzzled refusal to just accept cartoon logic.
Cas, Shaggy, and Scooby are the bait. They tiptoe through the room, attracting the ghost, and then making a run for the trigger. Of course, they end up caught in the trap instead, winding up trapped inside a washing machine. "I told you it wasn't going to work," Sam says. "Yeah, Fred's traps never work," says Dean. But there's a Plan B. They lead the ghost to the library where Scooby sends him down the chute - because of course ghosts obey gravity, even though they float through the air and through walls, but okay. Cartoon logic. The ghost ends up in the basement, trapped inside a ring of salt.
This is actually a pretty cool effect.
The ghost reveals himself to be a child who's being controlled by "the bad man," Jay. You know, the guy from the store, who I suspected was up to no good? His spirit is bound to a pocketknife, and Jay has been using him against his will. Team Free Will tells him that if he can send them back to their own world, they'll release his spirit. All is well, right?
Unfortunately, the Scooby gang is scared out of their minds, and Dean doesn't want to leave them like that. He asks the ghost boy for a favor. Some time later, they let the gang back into the room where the ghost was. "Did you send it back to the fiery pit from whence it came?" asks Fred. (I like that. I'm gonna use that.) The Winchesters say everything is under control, and they show them the ghost, tied up with rope on the floor. "Kill it with fire!" exclaims Daphne. (Hee!) The Winchesters tell them Velma was right all along and invite her to "do your thing."
Velma removes the mask to reveal... Cosgrove Creeps! Sam explains the flying as "wires," and the walking through walls was "just a projector." He agrees with Velma that the bodies were dummies filled with corn syrup. Fred figures out Cosgrove's evil plan - he wanted the colonel's money for himself, so he wanted to scare everyone out of the house. And it turns out the money is all Confederate dollars anyway, so it's worthless.
I feel like the animators really got the essential essence of Sam, which is that his hair needs to move.
This is the point where Cosgrove is supposed to say "And I would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for you meddling kids," but he doesn't speak at all. So I'm pretty sure his head is on a pike, beind held by the ghost child who is hidden in the body of the ghost costume.
Having gotten her groove back, Velma taunts Sam. "There's no such thing as the supernatural!" Cas looks right into the camera, Office-style, but Sam kindly agrees with Velma. Cas surreptitiously heals Shaggy's arm, Daphne is sweetly oblivious to Dean's "what might have been" goodbye, Cas tells Shaggy and Scooby that he'll miss their "wise words and gentle spirits," and Velma accepts Sam's handshake but then pulls him in for a kiss. "Those shoulders," she says, as she walks away. "Jinkies!"
I KNEW YOU WERE THE SMART ONE, VELMA!
"I should have known Velma was good to go," Dean complains. "It's always the quiet ones." Um, maybe it wasn't that you didn't go after Velma, Dean. Maybe she just liked Sam. (Yes, this is two episodes in a row where someone is interested in Sam and not Dean. In case you're keeping track.)
The Scooby gang leaves, not knowing that the Winchesters aren't going to meet them at The Malt Shop, so I hope they're not too disappointed (I'm sure Velma will be crushed). Cas tells "Cosgrove" that they're ready, and he turns into the ghost boy, so I guess he wasn't holding a head on a stick after all. Too bad; that would have been some Supernatural-level shit. There's a purple flash and boom, the guys are back in the Dean Cave, in their rightful bodies. (Goodbye, animated Sam. I'll miss you.)
But welcome back, my beautiful boys.
Dean declares their escapade "the coolest thing that's ever happened to me," and this is coming from someone who's been yanked out of Hell. (And done something with the Cartwright twins, but I think getting pulled out of Hell would be cooler. But then, I've never met the Cartwright twins, so.) He goes to get a flamethrower and a sledgehammer, but this is not destined to be another great Dean-with-a-hammer scene, since all he does is smash the TV. He finds the pocketknife inside the wreckage of the TV and gives it to Sam. The dead child shows up, and they assure him they'll take care of the bad man. Sam burns the pocketknife, because the child was attached to the cheap plastic case and not to the metal knife part, I guess, and he blinks out.
There's that Setoski sign again from 11.20. It's got to refer to someone on the crew or something, doesn't it?
Aftermath! Jay is at Alan's store, having him sign the last of the paperwork to sell it to him. Because he's a shady real estate developer! Team Free Will barges in and Dean says "not so fast!" The Husband laughed, and I didn't know why until Jay said "Is that an ascot?" Because somehow I missed that Dean is wearing a silky red ascot.
Oh. My. God.
Sam explains to Alan that Jay has been planting haunted objects to scare people into selling their stores, and he sicced it on the Winchesters when they were carrying their television away. (Does he have a steady supply of haunted objects? Or was he using the same one, and if so, how did he plan to get it back?) And they know no one will believe them, so they "hacked his financials" and found he hasn't been paying taxes and now the police are here to arrest him and that's not how this works, guys! (Sigh. Cartoon logic.) As Jay is carted away by the police, Sam points out that Velma was right about the bad guy being a shady real estate developer, and Jay says the line about the meddling kids even though they're clearly not kids (or boys, as I've pointed out) but I don't care because we got the line, and Dean's as delighted as I am. Then he looks right at the camera and says "Scooby Dooby Doo!" and Sam and Cas are both, what are you doing? You're not a talking dog.
That's all, folks!
So, I didn't have high hopes for this one. You know another episode I didn't have high hopes for? Baby. And Fan Fiction. So clearly my hopes are to be ignored. This was a little slice of heaven. I'd rather have one of these than a ton of mytharcs and setups for Wayward Sisters. I mean, if I'd been in charge, I would have put them in a different cartoon. Speed Racer, obviously. The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle, even more obviously.
And now I get to hear what you thought! Remember, no spoilers in the comments, please!
We open with Dean being attacked by a giant plush dinosaur, which is hilarious, but also confusing, because I can't remember when this happened. Eventually I realize we're not in the "Then," because this episode doesn't have a "Then." Sam shows up and tackles the dinosaur, freeing Dean to douse it with holy oil and set it on fire. It explodes, leaving the boys puzzled but relieved. Alan, who apparently owns the eclectic store that houses electronics and a giant plush dinosaur and various and sundry (heh) other things, thanks them for saving him.
A sleazy-looking guy named Jay comes over from next door and I immediately know Jay is Up To No Good, but I'm getting ahead of myself. The Winchesters explain that "sometimes the batteries in the giant plush dinosaurs just explode," and Dean comments that you shouldn't ever buy anything from Moosylvania, and I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. Neither does Sam. Alan explains that Jay owns practically everything in the neighborhood. The brothers quietly discuss the fact that they were here hunting for a lizard monster, which probably wasn't this giant plush dinosaur, and the giant plush dinosaur seems to be a cursed object. Alan offers them anything in the store as a thank you, and Sam's all, nah, we're just happy to help, but Dean spots something he wants. Next thing we know, the guys are carrying a giant TV. (Okay, not "giant." I'd guess 40 or 50 inches. But bigger than whatever's in Sam's room.)
Soak up the visuals while you can, friends, because we're not getting a lot in this episode.)
Back at the bunker, Sam's doing research - still in his jacket, it must be cold in the bunker today - when he's interrupted by Dean (also in his jacket) who makes a "Frozen" reference (and is ridiculously proud to have done so) and then says "I need to show you something; it's important."
Saying goodbye to the pretty in 3... 2... 1...
What he has to show Sam is the Dean Cave, or the "Fortress of Deanitude." He's set up a room with a foosball table, a jukebox, a bar, two really awful recliners, and the new TV. He turns on the TV and there are sparks and purple lights and then they're zapped right into the television, where we see them as animated characters. Sam suspects it's a dream, so Dean slaps him and leaves an imprint on his face, and I don't know why that would convince him it's not a dream. "Maybe this is an angel thing," says Dean. "Or the Trickster!" Except. The Trickster was an angel. Dean knows this. So this is stupid and annoying. Sam points out that he's dead, and Dean says "Or is he?" Well, okay, we know he's not dead.
(Sidebar: When I first heard about the Scooby Doo episode last summer, because of course even the Unsullied couldn't avoid the spoilers on this one, I hoped it was going to be someone's coma dream or some other kind of hallucination. And then, when we saw Gabriel had been brought back, I thought perhaps he would be the one to throw them into a TV show. I did not expect Magic Television Zaps The Boys into Scooby Doo.)
Anyway. Sam's all, "what the hell?" and he throws up his hands and Dean rubs the back of his neck and says "I don't know," and I like that these characters have the guys' actual mannerisms. I like that a lot. What I do not like is Dean's animated face. Sam looks fine. But I can't imagine that anyone could look at Jensen's pretty pretty face, his such delicate features for a hunter face, his you sure grew up pretty face, his male model type face, and then look at this blocky hardened 50-year-old 70s cop face and say "yeah, that'll do."
Nope.
But then Dean sees the Impala, which is beautifully animated, and apparently showed up because Dean had the keys in his pocket. Fair enough, although Sam finds it weird, and Dean can't believe this is the part that's throwing him.
Are we animated? Yes. Is it weird? Yes.
It's beyond weird.
Well, and beyond weird is kind of our thing, so. Whatever happened, we'll figure out. This is a case, so let's work it.
How?
Same as always. We drive.
And off they go, and the animation of the Impala driving down the road is so far above Scooby Doo's normal standards that it's not even funny.
Isn't she lovely?
(Sidebar: Here's the deal. I don't like Scooby Doo. Even as a child, I thought it was stupid and repetitive and horribly drawn. I watched it, of course, because that's what you did on Saturday mornings; you watched cartoons, and if Bugs Bunny wasn't on, you watched some crap like Scooby Doo. Especially if you didn't have cable.)
(Sidebar to my sidebar: I will never forget when I was in grade school, back when we finally got cable, and at last I could watch Speed Racer after school like all my classmates did. We watched it religiously, and mocked and loved it with equal fervor. So yeah, I have a history of snarking at television shows that I just cannot quit. But then we moved out into the country and couldn't get cable so my only cartoon time was Saturday mornings again. Those were dark days.)
(But I digress.)
The guys stop at a diner called The Malt Shop and spot the Mystery Machine. We're not just in any cartoon, we're in Scooby Doo! And now we finally get the title card, which is basically an animated version of the S13 title card. It's cute.
Inside The Malt Shop, the guys see the Scooby Gang dancing by the jukebox, while Scooby himself slurps down a milkshake. Dean declares him the greatest talking dog of all time, then calls dibs on Daphne.
Animated plaid. I like it.
Dean is very excited to be here. Sam, not so much.
Man, this is like a dream come true.
Your dream is to hang out with the Scooby gang?
Sam. Growing up on the road, no matter where Dad dragged us, no matter what we did, there was always a TV. And you know what was always on that TV? Scooby and the gang! These guys, they're our freaking role models, man! Except Fred; he's a wad.
He's... what?
Just think about it. We do the same thing! We go to spooky places, we solve mysteries, we fight ghosts.
Yeah, except our ghosts don't wear masks. And we don't have a talking dog!
I don't know. Cas is kinda like a talking dog.
Dean introduces himself and Sam to the gang and asks if they can join them, and while everyone else stares at them suspiciously, Fred immediately welcomes the newcomers and introduces the gang. Dean kisses Daphne's hand, which is the least inappropriate thing he's going to do to Daphne tonight.
The gang is celebrating, because they just found out Scooby (yes, the dog) is heir to a fortune, thanks to a colonel he saved from drowning. The colonel has now died ("Yeah, cancer") and why is that funny? I guess the juxtaposition of this children's cartoon and someone dying of cancer? But yeah, it's pretty damn funny. (Or maybe there's just something wrong with me.)
("Maybe?" Heh.)
Dean pulls Sam aside and tells him to pull the stick out of his "nether regions" (apparently we can't say ass on Scooby Doo, which is also funny) and Sam points out that there are no words in the newspaper and oh my god, you guys, that's some funny stuff right there. This is what I want. I want Sam and Dean fully aware of all the weird cartoon tropes and cliches and shortcuts and I want them to call them all out.
It's funny because it's true.
Sam says they need to work on getting out, and also calls him out for hitting on Daphne, even though she's "clearly with Fred," which has never actually been clear at all. I suspect it's just a friends-with-benefits thing. Anyway. Dean's obsession with Daphne is a nice gift from the Continuity Fairy, because it's come up before, so, well-done, Show. He points out that the last time they were zapped into a TV show, they got out by playing their part. Well, no, not actually. They got out by trapping the angel who zapped them there in the first place. But I'll let that go. Dean figures the gang is about to get a mystery, and he and Sam just need to play along.
Right on cue, Fred says this looks like the beginning of a mystery (what does? Scooby's inheritance?) and Dean asks if they can tag along. Fred agrees, and then Dean indulges in some Scooby & Shaggy-type eating ("Sam! Sam! Look how big my mouth is!")
Next we see the Scooby Gang in the Mystery Machine, and the Winchesters in the Impala, and again, the motion is animated so smoothly that it's almost distracting. It's like the animators said "No, sorry, Fred and the gang can move like they were animated by child laborers, but Baby needs to be beautiful." And who can blame them. Dean challenges Fred to a race, which causes Sam to ask why he hates him so much. "Thinks he's so cool. Him with his perfect hair, his can-do attitude, that stupid ascot." Aw, Dean. You used to be the one with the can-do attitude. Dean ends up losing the race when he chokes on the Mystery Machine's exhaust, and as the Impala finally pulls away from the light, we see a mysterious figure staggering toward it. Ruh roh!
(Sidebar: I really think Dean would like being in Speed Racer. I'm sure Baby could leave the Mach 5 in her dust, even if she doesn't have the James Bond-style gadgets.)
The guys arrive at the colonel's mansion, and Dean immediately recognizes it. "A Night of Fright is No Delight. That's the episode we're in! I've seen it like a million times!" (Okay, but it's also the mansion shown at the beginning of every single episode of Sccoby Doo, so.)
Inside, creepy and appropriately-named attorney Cosgood Creeps announces that the late Colonel Sanders (Asmodeus shout-out?) left a record to be played for his heirs. The recording is the colonel himself, announcing that each of his heirs (four cousins and Scooby) will receive an equal share of the inheritance, providing they spend the night in his haunted mansion. Anyone who doesn't spend the night will forfeit their share. You know, if I had more than one kid, I'd make that kind of will. You guys fight it out, winner takes all, remember Mama loved you.
Poor Sam continues to use real-world logic, wondering what kind of weirdo would set this up. Velma assures him the house isn't really haunted, and also, things like this happen all the time. "Maybe in a cartoon," Sam starts to retort, but Dean stops him and insists they don't tell the gang they're in a "c-word," and there's a real world, and monsters are real. "They are pure, and innocent, and good, and we're gonna keep it that way."
Guys. Animated Sam is really growing on me. His hair even looks better than some Real Sam episodes. Dean still looks pretty bad.
Cosgood Creeps takes his creepy leave, complete with evil laugh.
Turns out, he's the bad guy.
You don't say.
Hee!
The clock chimes ten and one of the cousins says they should all go to bed. Dean grabs Daphne and suggests they "bunk together," which she blows off as too silly for words, since boys and girls don't sleep in the same room. I don't know if Daphne's supposed to be truly clueless about Dean's advances, or if this is her clever way of cutting him off at the knees, but either way, I like it. For different reasons.
In the boy room, Sam changes into yellow pajamas, which might seem ridiculous until Dean comes out in his "sleeping robe" and hat. Meanwhile, in the girl room, Daphne declares the new guys "groovy" (which I guess makes her clueless), while Velma says Dean's all right, but "that big lug, what a dummy!" Damn, Velma, that's cold. Also, damn, Velma, I don't remember you ever looking like this.
Why you hiding that slammin' bod under that big sweater?
(Sidebar: We seem to be going with the gang from the original 60s series, "Scooby Doo, Where Are You?" and not the later reboot, since Daphne's dress is the original drop-waist style and not the reboot wrap dress, and Fred's shirt doesn't have a blue stripe. And yet sexed-up Velma, wearing her new close-fitting sweater instead of the original baggy one, is straight out of the reboot.)
(Sidebar to my sidebar: Oh god, I know way too much about Scooby Doo. The Kid went through a phase. It was a dark time.)
Velma mocks Sam's belief in ghosts, and his big-lugness, while Daphne says she thought big lugs were "kinda your thing." Which Velma blushingly denies. (It's okay, Velma. He's irresistible. You don't have to deny it.)
We see one of the cousins in his room, with a knife handily stuck in a block of cheese or bread or something (seriously, dude, don't leave weapons lying about for the ghost). The room gets cold (and oh, this is not a Scooby Doo thing, because of course their ghosts are never real, and I love that we're getting a real Supernatural bleed into Scooby Doo) and the ghost ganks the cousin.
There's a clever segue where the screaming cousin morphs into yawning Scooby, and we're back in the boy room. Sam is annoyed that Dean is eating, but Dean knows exactly what's going to happen next: they'll find out Cousin Semple is missing, they'll think it's a ghost, but it will turn out to be the creepy attorney.
(Sidebar: Another gift from the Continuity Fairy is the way Dean effortlessly assimilates into the cartoon world, and the way Sam fights it and points out all the inconsistencies. Because Sam's all "how is this will even legal" and Dean's all "of course I'm gonna stretch my mouth around a giant sandwich." It's lovely.)
There's a scream, and Fred leads the new gang to check it out. The girls join in, and they all find Cousin Semple, not missing, but lying on the floor of his room. Dean is confused, because the dummy bodies aren't supposed to show up just yet. Sam touches the body and holds up a bloody hand to show that it's not a dummy body, and oh god, Sam's bloody palm is another big dose of Supernatural inside this candy-coating of Scooby Doo, and it's awesome.
This is the quality content I'm looking for.
Then Velma pulls back the covers to reveal the bloody body with a knife stuck in its back and it's even more awesome.
He's dead, like really, actually dead!
Jinkies!
Jeepers!
Zoinks!
Ruh roh!
Son of a bitch!
OH MY GOD. Everybody's catch phrase. It's perfection.
Fred cheerfully declares that they have another mystery on their hands, and Sam's all "Fred, are you kidding me? Dude, someone's dead. A little respect." Also, everyone is mysteriously out of their pajamas and in street clothes now. I mean, time could have passed during the commercial, but that would mean Sam went and changed before he covered the body. Oh well. It's something that happens on the actual show all the time, so. Continuity?
Velma says they should go look for evidence, like fingerprints or fluids, and Sam is somehow grossed out at "fluids." After the gang leaves, Dean insists this is not what happened in the actual episode. Sam points out that if Cousin Semple can die for real, so can they. Dean is more concerned with the possibility that Scooby Doo could die, saying "I'd take a bullet for that dog." And Dean doesn't even like dogs. They catch up with the gang, and as Velma repeats that there are no ghosts, we see a lot of lightning outside, silhouetting a mysterious figure who raises his arms in a scary way, and remember before when we've seen flashes of light silhouette kind of like this? That's right. The figure enters, and the Winchesters are poised to grab him but Fred jumps in first (aw, Fred, you and your can-do attitude) and it turns out to be Castiel.
Nicely done, Show.
Cas explains that he got to the bunker after returning from Syria (with fruit from the Tree of Life and possibly a marriage to the queen of the djinn who were guarding the tree) and found the TV showing the animated versions of Sam and Dean, and then there were purple sparks and he was zapped into the television. The purple sparks make Sam think of the "killer stuffed dinosaur," which must be related. Velma mocks the idea of a killer stuffed dinosaur, and the guys have to backtrack and claim it's from a book they're writing.
Then the lights start flashing and the room gets cold, and the Scooby gang may not know what's happening, but we do. The gang heads out into a hallway, where there's a spray of blood through a barely-opened door and then the ghost appears. Sam and Dean prepare to fight it, but again, Fred charges in before they can. Fred's a real go-getter, I've got to say. Of course, he sails right through the ghost, which then disappears through a wall. Velma insists there must be a hidden door, because of course there's no such thing as ghosts. They open the door the ghost came out of and are greeted by an absolute nightmare: Cosgrove Creeps's severed head and legs on the floor, and his body suspended from the ceiling.
"Well, that's not good," Fred says cheerfully, as Dean tries not to vomit. Ha! More Supernatural-level violence, rendered Scooby Doo style, and I love it. "Come on, gang!" Fred says, leading them away from the scene. Poor Sam is still applying real-world logic to the situation and is befuddled that they're just walking away from a dead body. Dean points out the lights on the fritz and the cold spots, and says this cartoon is haunted, as if they hadn't already figured that out. Or did they? I thought they had, but maybe I'm wrong.
Fred decides they should separate and look for clues, and poor Sam still tries to use real-world logic on them, saying it will be easier for him and Dean to keep the gang safe if they all stay together. Because Sam's used to being seen as The Hero Who Came to Save Us, and not That Crazy Guy Who Believes in Ghosts. Oh, poor Sammy. Velma mocks him again, saying she's surprised that a "big broad-shouldered guy like you" is a coward like Shaggy. You're not fooling anyone, Velma. Just sayin'.
The guys agree to split up, so Dean goes with Daphne and Fred, while Sam is drafted by Velma (hey, we all know she's the smart one.) Cas is disgruntles to find himself with Shaggy and Scooby. "Wonderful. I once led armies, and now I'm paired with a scruffy Philistine and a talking dog." Hee!
Velma instructs Sam to keep "those giant linebacker shoulders" from knocking over any clues as they search the attic, and we all see what's going on here, Velma. You're only fooling yourself. "Why do you keep talking about my shoulders?" he asks, because as usual he's completely oblivious when someone is smitten with him, and she blushes and looks away.
And in that moment, we were all Velma.
Velma's taunting is finally too much for Sam, and he tells her ghosts are real. Along with werewolves, vampires, and demons. She just laughs.
Look, Sam. The simple fact is, monsters are nothing more than crooks in masks. Usually unscrupulous real estate developers.
One, there are way better real estate scams. And two -
I love this poke at the Scooby Doo cliche of someone pretending to be a ghost or monster in order to get hold of some real estate. And I love Sam's real-world logic insisting that there are better ways to do that. But he's interrupted when Velma discovers a clue - a chest of toys. Velma notices the toys are the only thing in the attic that isn't dusty, and Sam notices they're dripping with ectoplasm. He explains that it's left behind by ghosts, and Velma's denial seems pointless when the toys start to float and glow purple. She still tries, though, saying it's probably Christmas lights and fishing line. Because it would be, if you weren't here, Sam.
Meanwhile, Dean, Daphne, and Fred search through the main rooms. Dean asks Daphne what she looks for in a guy (complete with self-conscious little back-of-the-head rub) and she says "Strong, sincere... and an ascot wouldn't hurt."
And then they do the thing I longed for, when Dean sees this book.
Yeah, you recognize this.
And then this happens:
Take out that book.
There are a lot of books in here, Dean.
That one. The one that isn't painted into the background of the car- the library. The library.
Because this is such a THING on Scooby Doo, the way the secret book or the loose board or whatever part of the scenery has to move stands out. I understand it's not part of the background, but does that mean they have to paint it a completely different color? And how do the characters never notice it?
Removing the book opens a trap door that sends them down a chute. They land in the dark, and all we see are their eyes. As one does, in a cartoon. "Daphne, are you okay?" Dean asks, approaching a pair of eyes. "Maybe I should just give you a once-over to make sure." Then the lights are flipped on and we see Dean's hand is actually inappropriately fondling the ghost.
Dude.
And the last group creeps through the basement. Shaggy and Scooby notice it's cold, so of course the ghost shows up. "I've never seen a ghost wear such a ridiculous costume," Cas says, poking it in the nose (and therefore discovering it's actually a ghost.) Seriously, I don't know why they haven't all accepted it's a ghost. They run, and then we get the classic Scooby Doo chase scene, complete with (awful) theme song, French slamming-door farce, Dean leering at Daphne as she boards up a door, running past repeating backgrounds, and popping out of giant vases.
Sadly, this is as close as Dean gets.
(Sidebar: You know what cartoon had a great theme song? Speed Racer. I mean, listen to it. Listen to that brass. That's an awesome theme song.)
The Husband is amused that they're pulling out all the Scooby Doo cliches, and I'm thinking yes, but I don't want Sam and Dean in an episode of Scooby Doo. I want the Scooby Doo gang in an episode of Supernatural. I want arterial blood spray, I want the "monsters are real" speech. And then they all run into a room and I get my wish. It starts with Sam and Dean slamming the doors shut.
Doesn't this look very much like a scene from Supernatural?
"We have to stop this ghost!" Fred says.
"We almost did!" says Daphne. "Dean had him by the thigh!"
Oh god. That's funny.
Velma says again that there's no such thing as ghosts, but then her breath fogs and her glasses frost over, and then the windows frost over and the lights flicker, and it's ghost time! The door bursts open and the ghost enters, with yellow glowing eyes. Fred charges him again, and gets flung into a marble bust. He falls to the floor, unconscious. Now this is Supernatural! (And for once it's not Sam.) Then Velma and Daphne are suspended on the wall, demon style, by the thing with yellow eyes! Hoo boy! Then Shaggy is flung out the window. Sam finds a pair of iron candlesticks and tosses one to Dean. They plunge them into the ghost, who zaps out in a burst of purple sparks.
Also of note: I wish I could take credit for this, but I saw it on Tumblr. There are paintings of the Archangel Michael in this room. I can't even.
Oh, you clever, clever show.
Outside, Shaggy has been hanging on to a precarious bit of trim, but just as the gang notices, it starts to collapse and he falls. Scooby jumps after him, and Cas jumps after Scooby. He's able to break Shaggy's fall somewhat, but he still ends up with a broken arm. "What? That's not - I have jumped out of a biplane in a museum, and was fine! How did this happen?" And how did Fred get flung across the room? The gang is befuddled. Welcome to Supernatural, Scooby gang. (Although they don't get hurt nearly as often as they should, it's still more often than you do.)
Velma rigs up some kind of splint for Shaggy's arm, but I don't really want to talk about that right now, I want to talk about the fact that I'm finding animated Sam disturbingly attractive right now.
Please tell me it's not just me.
Sam insists they need to tell them the truth, so Dean gives them the "monsters are real" speech, to my delight. Velma is furious at herself for being "so stupid," and Fred is beside himself. "We've been stopping real estate developers when we could have been hunting Dracula?" he wails, bashing his head against a tree. "Are you kidding me? My life is meaningless!" (Fred, you're awesome. Don't ever change.) And Daphne just freaks the fuck out. "If there are ghosts, that means there's an afterlife! Heaven! Hell! Am I going to hell?" But Shaggy is vindicated. "We told you, every freaking time, but did you ever listen to Scoob and me? No!"
I LOVE THIS.
Dean gives them a pep talk, reminding them that they've fought monsters, going through some of their greatest hits (and once again I'm distracted by the disturbing hotness of animated Sam behind him).
If I had a dollar for every time I've said "Seriously, I have a problem" on these reviews." But I've got to admit, this is a new one.
He tells them they're heroes, and they'll all take this ghost down together. But how, asks Velma, since they don't know anything and don't have the proper tools or weapons? "That's okay," says hot animated Sam. "We do." Cut to the iconic trunk-POV shot!
Odd that the trunk is neatly arranged, Sam-style.
Sam offers Velma a shotgun, but Dean stops him, saying that's a "Scooby don't." They can't use weapons, but bleep yeah they can still help. He wants the gang to do what they do best: build a trap. (I don't really understand the point of the bleep here? It would have been funny if he were saying something they say on Supernatural that they don't say on Scooby Doo, but that's not the case.)
Anyway. We see Daphne pouring salt around the perimeter of a room while Fred explains the trap. It involves a bag of coconuts. "Where'd he get coconuts?" Sam asks. I'm sure you're tired of me saying this, but I absofreakinglutely love Sam's continued puzzled refusal to just accept cartoon logic.
Cas, Shaggy, and Scooby are the bait. They tiptoe through the room, attracting the ghost, and then making a run for the trigger. Of course, they end up caught in the trap instead, winding up trapped inside a washing machine. "I told you it wasn't going to work," Sam says. "Yeah, Fred's traps never work," says Dean. But there's a Plan B. They lead the ghost to the library where Scooby sends him down the chute - because of course ghosts obey gravity, even though they float through the air and through walls, but okay. Cartoon logic. The ghost ends up in the basement, trapped inside a ring of salt.
This is actually a pretty cool effect.
The ghost reveals himself to be a child who's being controlled by "the bad man," Jay. You know, the guy from the store, who I suspected was up to no good? His spirit is bound to a pocketknife, and Jay has been using him against his will. Team Free Will tells him that if he can send them back to their own world, they'll release his spirit. All is well, right?
Unfortunately, the Scooby gang is scared out of their minds, and Dean doesn't want to leave them like that. He asks the ghost boy for a favor. Some time later, they let the gang back into the room where the ghost was. "Did you send it back to the fiery pit from whence it came?" asks Fred. (I like that. I'm gonna use that.) The Winchesters say everything is under control, and they show them the ghost, tied up with rope on the floor. "Kill it with fire!" exclaims Daphne. (Hee!) The Winchesters tell them Velma was right all along and invite her to "do your thing."
Velma removes the mask to reveal... Cosgrove Creeps! Sam explains the flying as "wires," and the walking through walls was "just a projector." He agrees with Velma that the bodies were dummies filled with corn syrup. Fred figures out Cosgrove's evil plan - he wanted the colonel's money for himself, so he wanted to scare everyone out of the house. And it turns out the money is all Confederate dollars anyway, so it's worthless.
I feel like the animators really got the essential essence of Sam, which is that his hair needs to move.
This is the point where Cosgrove is supposed to say "And I would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for you meddling kids," but he doesn't speak at all. So I'm pretty sure his head is on a pike, beind held by the ghost child who is hidden in the body of the ghost costume.
Having gotten her groove back, Velma taunts Sam. "There's no such thing as the supernatural!" Cas looks right into the camera, Office-style, but Sam kindly agrees with Velma. Cas surreptitiously heals Shaggy's arm, Daphne is sweetly oblivious to Dean's "what might have been" goodbye, Cas tells Shaggy and Scooby that he'll miss their "wise words and gentle spirits," and Velma accepts Sam's handshake but then pulls him in for a kiss. "Those shoulders," she says, as she walks away. "Jinkies!"
I KNEW YOU WERE THE SMART ONE, VELMA!
"I should have known Velma was good to go," Dean complains. "It's always the quiet ones." Um, maybe it wasn't that you didn't go after Velma, Dean. Maybe she just liked Sam. (Yes, this is two episodes in a row where someone is interested in Sam and not Dean. In case you're keeping track.)
The Scooby gang leaves, not knowing that the Winchesters aren't going to meet them at The Malt Shop, so I hope they're not too disappointed (I'm sure Velma will be crushed). Cas tells "Cosgrove" that they're ready, and he turns into the ghost boy, so I guess he wasn't holding a head on a stick after all. Too bad; that would have been some Supernatural-level shit. There's a purple flash and boom, the guys are back in the Dean Cave, in their rightful bodies. (Goodbye, animated Sam. I'll miss you.)
But welcome back, my beautiful boys.
Dean declares their escapade "the coolest thing that's ever happened to me," and this is coming from someone who's been yanked out of Hell. (And done something with the Cartwright twins, but I think getting pulled out of Hell would be cooler. But then, I've never met the Cartwright twins, so.) He goes to get a flamethrower and a sledgehammer, but this is not destined to be another great Dean-with-a-hammer scene, since all he does is smash the TV. He finds the pocketknife inside the wreckage of the TV and gives it to Sam. The dead child shows up, and they assure him they'll take care of the bad man. Sam burns the pocketknife, because the child was attached to the cheap plastic case and not to the metal knife part, I guess, and he blinks out.
There's that Setoski sign again from 11.20. It's got to refer to someone on the crew or something, doesn't it?
Aftermath! Jay is at Alan's store, having him sign the last of the paperwork to sell it to him. Because he's a shady real estate developer! Team Free Will barges in and Dean says "not so fast!" The Husband laughed, and I didn't know why until Jay said "Is that an ascot?" Because somehow I missed that Dean is wearing a silky red ascot.
Oh. My. God.
Sam explains to Alan that Jay has been planting haunted objects to scare people into selling their stores, and he sicced it on the Winchesters when they were carrying their television away. (Does he have a steady supply of haunted objects? Or was he using the same one, and if so, how did he plan to get it back?) And they know no one will believe them, so they "hacked his financials" and found he hasn't been paying taxes and now the police are here to arrest him and that's not how this works, guys! (Sigh. Cartoon logic.) As Jay is carted away by the police, Sam points out that Velma was right about the bad guy being a shady real estate developer, and Jay says the line about the meddling kids even though they're clearly not kids (or boys, as I've pointed out) but I don't care because we got the line, and Dean's as delighted as I am. Then he looks right at the camera and says "Scooby Dooby Doo!" and Sam and Cas are both, what are you doing? You're not a talking dog.
That's all, folks!
So, I didn't have high hopes for this one. You know another episode I didn't have high hopes for? Baby. And Fan Fiction. So clearly my hopes are to be ignored. This was a little slice of heaven. I'd rather have one of these than a ton of mytharcs and setups for Wayward Sisters. I mean, if I'd been in charge, I would have put them in a different cartoon. Speed Racer, obviously. The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle, even more obviously.
And now I get to hear what you thought! Remember, no spoilers in the comments, please!