DWP fic: Nineteen Twelve 10/?
Title: Nineteen Twelve 10/?
Author: caramelapples11
Fandom: The Devil Wears Prada (film)
Pairing: Miranda/Andy
Archive: Please don't archive.
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters which are recognizable.
Summary: Andy Sachs wants to write. Miranda Priestly is a better businesswoman than her husband. It's 1912 and both women are aboard the RMS Titanic on its maiden voyage to New York. So what happens now?
Author's notes: I apologise greatly for the unofficial hiatus! School was/is busy, and the muse just wasn't co-operating. But I've finally, finally got this chapter done, and I'm incredibly nervous about it, more so than the previous chapters. Many thanks to ballion who's been there through every part of this, the writing, the ranting (yes, this too), the rewriting, the "Are you sure this is okay?" parts including the posting. Without her, this chapter would not be. All mistakes are mine. Thank you for all the wonderful support. I really appreciate it. I hope you'll enjoy it and please leave feedback! :) As usual, I'd love to know what you think.
Part Ten
The cold outside felt heavy against Andy’s skin as she tried to take larger - and less than dainty - steps in her dress. The decks were brilliantly lit and threw shadows outside in odd places. A few passengers were taking strolls outside, moving at a languid pace. The deck was hardly crowded (most were still having dinner or had moved on to other activities), but Andy didn’t think that it was wise to pick up her skirts and run.
Nevertheless, she hastened her pace, eyes discreetly searching ahead for a glimpse of white, for the woman who apparently wanted to have no relations whatsoever with her. Andy was sure that she had lost her mind; what was she doing - and where was Miranda?
How dare the world play tricks on Andy? How dare Miranda look like that and then leave and then expect Andy to not do anything about it? Not give Andy a chance to say anything at all. If only she could just explain and tell Miranda - explain what exactly? To not listen to what Sam had said at dinner, even if it had been nothing other than the truth? And why should she not listen to Sam if that was the case, or bother much about Andy because - well, she had said that she was going to leave Andy be, hadn’t she?
She huffed in frustration. Miranda had probably returned to her cabin.
Andy might have been as foolish as Miranda had implied, but she surely wasn’t foolish enough to search the entire ship - not one as large as the one she was on - for a woman who had the intention of avoiding her.
Maybe Miranda had noticed that Andy had been following her and decided to hide, however childish the notion might have been.
It was for the best, Andy thought, feeling hollow and numb. She had spent all afternoon convincing herself of this fact; might as well stay convinced, rather than destroy everything over how Miranda might have looked (at this, her heart clenched). Andy swallowed and tried to clear the forming lump in her throat.
Miranda made Andy stutter and lose her usual coherence, turned Andy into a babbling airhead. Miranda made Andy feel so many things at once that Andy had never known were possible.
All of those qualities were enough to turn Andy away from anyone else. But Miranda wasn’t merely anyone else. Like a moth drawn to a flame, Andy was drawn to Miranda, unaware (or uncaring) of the forthcoming burn.
Something warm and wet slid down Andy’s cheek and she lifted a gloved hand to brush it away furiously. A sharp sense of loss pierced her heart. It shouldn’t matter if she might not see Miranda again, once they arrive at New York City. After all, she could hardly say that Miranda was a friend.
“Tell me, do you kiss your friends, Andrea?”
She shouldn’t have. Oh! She shouldn’t have. What had she been thinking?! She had lost her mind, surely. It was not right for Andy to - did women kiss women? Andy didn’t think so. She had read, quite a considerable amount of time ago, that some men did kiss other men. The article had said it was a disease, a psychological defect. Was Andy ill too? She didn’t feel ill, not in the way that one might feel should one be having a cold. Perhaps mentally. Andy shuddered at the thought. She had distant cousin who had been institutionalised because of a mental illness. She didn't want the same fate to befall her.
Andy bit her lip and drew a deep breath to calm the tremulous emotions in her chest. She will not lose her dignity by desperately attempting to be a friend of someone who didn’t appreciate it.
Slowly, she made her way inside and towards her cabin.
Never had Andy felt more tormented and confused. She was unaware that she had been walking almost, aimlessly in manner, until something slammed right into her.
“Please care to watch where you’re going, Miss Sachs,” somebody said, from above her, and Andy straightened up to see Emily, looking down disdainfully at her, which was somewhat amazing, considering that Andy was sure that they were as tall as each other.
“I’m sorry,” Andy said, pushing some unruly tendrils of dark hair which had slipped from the barrettes on her hair, away from her forehead. “I was carried away by my thoughts. I didn’t see you,” she explained, hastily. Emily was a reminder of Miranda, and it suddenly seemed impossible to keep all thoughts of the woman away.
“Ah, dreaming, I see.”
Andy made a face, indignant. Why must Emily dislike her so? “I was not dreaming, Miss - uh -”
“You may call me Emily,” the other woman said.
“Right. And, uh - you may call me Andy?” It only seemed fair to offer the same, Andy thought.
“Andy. It’s practically all I hear, when Caroline and Cassidy are around.” Emily sniffed. “I reckon, Miranda has taken a liking to you,” she said, almost as though bestowing upon Andy a great secret.
Her heart started to beat faster. “Yes?”
“Not once has she told the girls to stop talking about you. Perhaps she likes hearing about you,” Emily said. Andy thought that she heard envy in the red-haired woman’s voice, but chose to say nothing about it. It was not her place.
“Perhaps,” Andy said faintly, feeling her palms dampen in her gloves. Andy felt sick, knowing how she had ruined everything. Why had she been so impulsive? So, so, foolish?
“Anyhow, I must be on my way. Miranda doesn’t take well to waiting,” Emily said, looking down at the drawstring bag hanging daintily on her arm. “Goodnight, Miss Sachs,” Emily said promptly, walking past Andy with purposeful strides.
Andy blinked, suddenly alert to everything. “Miranda is waiting?” she asked, barely able to keep from squeaking.
Emily paused, turning momentarily to face her. “Yes. She likes to take her swims privately.”
“Swimming? She’s going swimming? But I thought - I mean, the brochure said that it - the bath - was reserved for us in the morning? Us women, I mean,” Andy said, trying to sound as curious as possible about reserved times of the swimming facilities on the ship and not Miranda herself.
“Yes, but reserved for Miranda Priestly at night.”
“That’s -”
“Incredible, yes. But she cannot swim if I do not bring her appropriate swimming attire, wouldn’t you agree? Goodnight, Miss Sachs,” Emily said sharply, and left Andy alone, her footsteps echoing away.
Miranda was at the swimming bath. If Andy wanted, she could find Miranda there because Emily said Miranda was waiting for her there. If Andy wanted -
Andy wanted.
She rushed back to her cabin, immediately calling for Ellen to bring her swimming gown.
“You shan’t be goin’ an’ gettin’ yourself all wet at ‘is time of ‘e day, Miss Andy!” Ellen protested, as she undid Andy’s hair and redoing it into a simpler and more practical hairdo.
“Oh, Ellen, I have to!” Andy cried, whipping around so fast, Ellen took a step backward. “You just don’t understand!” Ellen helped her out of her gown before undoing the laces of her corset.
“No, I don’t understand at all,” Ellen said, flabbergasted. “It’s almost midnight, it is, Miss Andy an’ you want to go swimmin’? If your mother hears of it, she’d be mighty angry at you! It’s not proper for a lady! An’ you’d catch a cold, you wou’d.”
Andy moved away, leaving Ellen with the corset, unclasping the necklace around her neck, and the bracelet from her wrist before hastily dropping them on the dressing table. She slipped on the gown again with only her knickers and chemise underneath and grabbed the bag with her swimming gown Ellen had brought her.
Ellen grabbed Andy’s hand, preventing her from leaving. “What’re you doin’, Miss Andy? Jus’ what’re you doin’ wit’ yourself?”
“Don’t you worry, Ellen,” Andy said. How could she tell Ellen what she was doing when she had no idea herself on what she was doing? “Oh, dear Ellen, don’t you worry.” She kissed Ellen’s callused hands tenderly, her heart aching to see the tears in Ellen’s eyes.
“Miss Andy - ”
“I’ll be back soon, Ellen,” she said, heart thudding in her chest as she left.
-
Andy wasn’t quite sure if she would be allowed into the swimming bath but she decided not to think about that yet. If Ellen had any opinions on Andy’s moods or behaviour, she had yet to address it. Would Miranda be angry that Andy had found her?
The place was silent except for distant humming of the ship’s engines. Andy’s footsteps echoed quietly down the corridors, and she could almost feel her own erratic pulse. There was nobody in sight, nobody to tell her that the facilities were closed. Of course, it was closed to those who weren’t paying, possibly, a hundred pounds to reserve the entire swimming bath to themselves.
Andy wasn’t even aware that such a thing was possible.
Apparently, it was.
The doors to the swimming bath were closed, but Andy thought that she could hear faint sounds of rippling water. Andy pushed the door open, slowly, but it didn’t creak, and a tiled wall blocked her view of the pool. Yellow bulbs placed distantly from each other on the low ceiling lit the place. She expected to see Emily, somewhere, perhaps waiting for Miranda loyally, but didn’t.
The door closed smoothly behind her, and she gripped the strings of her drawstring bag tighter. Hesitation slowed her down. Andy heard the ripples of water clearly now, and moved toward the pool, heels clicking mutedly on the patterned tiles.
And there Miranda was, her body a shadow under the surface of the water. Long limbs moved gracefully, allowing their owner’s body to glide smoothly underwater. The pool was deep, and the water was about a two feet down the level Andy was on. She stared, not able to move. She opened her mouth to alert Miranda of her presence, but froze as Miranda broke through the surface of the water, unaware of her new companion.
Andy swallowed, realizing that she could see Miranda’s pale shoulders and back. She wasn’t wearing any “appropriate swimming attire” for all Andy knew. Andy couldn’t remember any sort of swimming costume which looked like the one Miranda had on. The white cloth looked -
“What are you doing here?”
Andy’s heart stopped, fear gripping her heart. Miranda was looking directly at her, blue eyes colder than ice during winter.
“I don’t - ”
“What. Are. You. Doing. Here?” her voice was no louder than a whisper, but deadly and made Andy quiver like a little girl.
“Miranda -”
“Get out!” Miranda hissed, eyes glinting dangerously.
Andy jumped, dropping her bag, but her feet refused to move.
“I said, get out!”
“N-no.” Firmly, firmly, firmly… Fear coiled in Andy’s stomach, but so did courage.
“What?”
“No, I need to tell you something first.”
“How dare you -”
“I dare! Oh, I dare! You said that you were going to leave me be! That you didn’t care for me, and you dare look like that and you wouldn’t look at me - and kept on looking like that -”
“Like what?”
“L-like somebody was hurting you, and it made me feel so horrible, and it hurt me for causing it.”
“When?”
“When Sam was talking about how we met and how he proposed,” Andy whispered. “You know what I’m speaking of, don’t you pretend you don’t. Don’t you lie. And you’re right, I am foolish. I don’t know why I’m here, if that is what you want to know. I have no idea as to why I decided to come here. I just wanted - I wanted to see you,” Andy said, quietly. “I thought… I didn’t want to hurt you. At dinner, I mean.”
Miranda scoffed. “You didn’t.”
“You - well, if that’s what you insist upon, Miranda, I’m glad. Truly, I am. But just in case you were… I care for Sam very much. I’m very fond of him, you know.”
Miranda’s face was blank and Andy couldn’t read what she thinking at all. “Yes, I know. If you’ve come to tell me that, rest assured that I am aware of that fact, and would very much preferred if you left this instant.”
Andy nodded. “As fond as I am of him,” she bit her lip. “I wanted to let you know that I don’t love him.” There. She said it. It was true. Andy knew that she should, but she didn’t, and for some reason, felt obliged to let Miranda know that. “I think - that’s all.”
Miranda tilted her head, but Andy pretended that she wasn’t watching her so intently. Andy picked up her bag and straightened her shoulders in an effort to look dignified. “I shall leave now,” she announced, somewhat awkwardly, but really didn’t care.
“Andrea.”
The syllables of her name said out loud made the hairs on her neck stand. She didn’t dare turn around. The doors were only a few steps away, if she left now… She heard ripples in the water and then, soft padding on the wooden ledge of the bath.
She shouldn’t, she shouldn’t, she shouldn’t. “Goodnight, Miranda,” rolled of the tip of her tongue, as she spun around to see Miranda standing in front of her, dripping wet.
“Emily said - she was bringing you…”
Miranda wasn’t wearing any sort of swimming gown - Andy stopped breathing that very instant. It truly was a glorious sight, and Andy’s bag slipped from her fingertips onto the floor for the second time that night.
“She did.”
Andy gaped. Was the chemise Miranda’s swimming attire?
The white cotton chemise clung onto Miranda’s body deliciously, and Andy’s face burned. She had never seen such beautiful expanse of skin in her entire life, and the shortness of the chemise allowed Andy to see sculpted legs and soft white thighs. She could see - Andy’s mouth went dry - the curves of Miranda’s bosom, and their hardened peaks, a rosy pink.
Andy’s legs, when they had been frozen earlier, now seemed to be moving forward on their own accord. Miranda reached out and touched Andy’s cheek, her hand was warm and wet, but Andy leaned into her touch.
“You’re such a young girl,” Miranda whispered, and Andy shook her head. “You are, so young, so beautiful, Andrea. So beautiful.”
Andy breathed, the heat in her belly spread through her body like wildfire. She leaned closer, feeling the warmth of Miranda on her own skin and kissed her cheek softly, briefly.
“Andrea.”
It felt wonderful to have Miranda so close to her again. She had felt utterly miserable and thought that she might just die with the notion of never seeing Miranda again only earlier today.
Andy kissed Miranda again, lightly, on her cheek. She pressed a hand against Miranda’s waist, to steady herself. Miranda gasped softly. Pressing her face into the crook of Andy’s neck, Miranda placed a small kiss at the bottom of Andy’s ear, before kissing the line of Andy’s jaw. Andy wanted to feel more of Miranda and touch Miranda and breathe Miranda if it was possible. Finally - oh, god, finally - their lips met and Andy felt -
Miranda pulled away, pressing against Andy’s shoulders. “No, Andrea. This is careless -” The words came out in a rush. “Stop.”
Andy stilled. No, not, again. No, she couldn’t bear offering her heart to someone only to have it torn into pieces. A lump formed in her throat. “No,” she whispered, not in defiance, but in disbelief at her own stupidity.
“You’re engaged to be married.”
“No, no, no.”
“Andrea…”
“You should have let me leave,” Andy muttered, shaking her head. Tears slipped down her cheeks. “Why did you call me back? You let me believe - you made me so happy, and you take it away the next second!" She couldn't bear it. "You’re cruel and self -”
Whatever else Andy might have said died in her throat, as Miranda pressed her body against hers, and her lips against Andy’s. She was soft, so very soft and warm, in Andy’s arms, and she clutched at Andy like a lifeline. Miranda nipped at Andy’s lip, like a kitten, and slid her arms around Andy’s neck.
Briefly, she pulled away, and looked at Andy with sad eyes. “Please don’t cry,” she whispered, brushing a thumb against Andy’s cheek. “I can’t bear to see you cry, not this morning, not now.”
“I won’t, if it upsets you,” Andy promised.
Miranda laughed, disbelievingly. “Me? Oh, my dear Andrea, I don’t want you to be upset.” The look she gave Andy was nothing short of tender. Andy’s belly flipped in the way it did whenever Miranda said something nice (Andy mostly had to do some work to decipher a compliment from Miranda but she didn’t mind) to her.
She had never been so overwhelmed with desire for another human being. It was quite odd, how the only thing she could think about was Miranda. But Miranda was so beautiful, exquisite really, and Andy couldn’t imagine her future without Miranda in it. She kissed Miranda again, because she could, because it was all she wanted to do at this very moment, and because not doing so felt strange. It filled Andy with so much joy, her heart might burst with the intensity of it. She stumbled slightly, for her knees buckled, and before she knew it, there was no ledge beneath her anymore, but plain thin air.
The splash was loud, and echoed through the room, but when Andy realized that she wasn’t the only one in the water, she panicked. She had somehow dragged Miranda down with her, and if she had hurt her - oh gosh, Andy would never forgive herself.
Andy sputtered and coughed, as she surfaced. The water was incredibly warm. “Miranda?” Oh god, where was she? Before she could dive down under again, she felt someone tugging at her left leg and squealed in surprise.
“Miranda!”
Wet silvery hair curled adorably around Miranda’s face, framing it beautifully. “Worried?” she asked, playfully, and Andy found herself in unfamiliar waters, like a tiny fish in a shark’s territory.
How could Miranda swing from such polar ends of emotions? A moment ago, she had been melancholy, and serious - but now - Andy couldn’t describe the fear and thrill she felt to be in Miranda’s presence. She couldn’t understand it.
“Well, yes - I mean, what if you had gotten hurt?” Andy said, petulantly. “It’s n-not very kind to make fun of one’s concern.”
“No, you’re right and I apologise,” Miranda said, gamely. Andy decided that Miranda really did like to watch her, for she was doing it again, with the head tilt and slightly pursed lips.
“Um - ” Andy’s gown was wet, and heavy, and it was getting tiring to keep herself afloat when the fabric was pulling her down. “I think I should - ” She managed to reach the stairs at the corner, leading out of the pool, but stopped when she felt Miranda’s hand on hers under the surface of the water.
“You really are so beautiful,” Miranda said, quietly, but kept her eyes averted.
Andy was breathing so fast it came out as gasps.
Miranda kissed her, for the second time tonight, and all thoughts of getting out of the water was abandoned. Andy stopped kicking her feet, and started sinking underwater, before Miranda wrapped her arms around Andy’s waist and pulled her back up.
“Your gown is heavy,” she whispered against Andy’s neck, and started to undo the buttons down the dress with nimble fingers.
“I brought a - a swimming gown.”
“You don’t need one,” Miranda said, confidently. Well, Andy thought, Miranda should know, since she wasn’t wearing one.
“Are you - are y-you undressing me?” Andy stammered, shaking like a leaf.
“Mm. Stay afloat,” Miranda commanded, and Andy started kicking in the water again.
Andy felt a small flick beneath her ear, and shook harder, tension coiling up inside of her like a spring. She squeezed her eyes shut. It was unbearable. Miranda’s hands ghosted along her arms, directing the movements of her limbs in the water.
“You can open your eyes now,” Miranda whispered in her ear, and Andy wondered how Miranda knew she had her eyes closed. The yellow lighting threw a beautiful hue on everything in the room, making Miranda look ethereal, like a sea nymph, Andy thought.
Andy swallowed, as she felt Miranda’s body against hers. It was completely different, with only their underclothes on and every nerve-end was on fire as Miranda brushed against her in the warm liquid.
She reached out, pulling Miranda closer as she latched onto Miranda’s lips. She couldn’t have enough of Miranda, the word didn’t exist right this moment. She could never have enough of Miranda. Sam had never made her feel like this before, and Andy wasn’t sure if she could live without it.
“Miranda, I -”
“Hush, now, my dear Andrea.”
Miranda’s hands roamed, feeling Andy’s stomach, and higher and higher and - oh! - Andy’s stomach twisted in knots as Miranda’s hands brushed against the curve of her bosom. She could feel her nipple tighten and pebble against Miranda’s palm. It embarrassed her but Miranda looked at her with such wonder and such tenderness that Andy could not find it in her heart to deny Miranda anything.
Andy moaned softly. “Miranda -”
Miranda’s fingers brush between her legs gently at first, so gently that she thought she might have been imagining it. But Andy throbbed with unfamiliar need, and arched as Miranda touched her again, through her knickers. Andy gasped, as a shock of pleasure shot through her body. It was all so new, so unfamiliar, but Miranda played her body like a well-tuned musical instrument.
“I don’t - Miranda!” Andy whimpered as Miranda began to stroke her, slowly, everything around her becoming a blur of random colours. She grasped around blindly for something to hold on to, but found nothing and splashed the water around her. “Please - please,” Andy gasped, feeling as though she was sinking, drowning… Tears sprang to her eyes as pleasure coursed through her body in waves.
Andy clutched onto Miranda, kissing her like she was life itself, pulling her down under the water, and all she could feel was the intense pleasure of how Miranda was making her feel. She had forgotten to breathe, and see and hear and all she could do was feel. In a whirl of chemise and long dark hair, they twisted together, as the water swallowed them, and tumbled through a dance that only they knew the moves to.
Andy stilled, silence expanded and she held her breath, hearing only their heartbeats in unison until her world imploded, vivid colours clouding her vision, and only thing she could hear was the song a thousand angelic symphonies playing as they rose to the surface of the water. The tears stinging her eyes earlier escaped, joining the water as she came apart with an intensity so deep she thought she might die.
She gasped for air the moment she could, her lungs burned but her soul floated. Andy held Miranda close, resting her forehead on Miranda’s shoulder as Miranda stroked her hair like she would to sooth a crying child. “Hush, now,” she said, over and over again, as Andy shook, and tried to breathe.
“I’ve never - Miranda, I don’t know -”
“My Andrea… Hush, my sweet Andrea.”
“I love you,” Andy blurted, finally able to give a name to what she had been feeling all this while, only magnified by a million times tonight. She did, oh, how she did! She couldn’t think of anything else that could be it.
Miranda stilled, but said nothing.
“I can’t bear the thought of my life without you in it, I really can’t.”
“Can’t you?” Miranda said, softly, after a moment, resuming the soothing motion of stroking Andy’s hair.
The sound of water rippling was calming. Andy shook her head against Miranda’s shoulder.
“Neither can I.”
It was so soft that Andy had to strain to hear it; as if Miranda didn’t want Andy to hear it. But Andy did hear it, and it made her glow and beam like the sun.
To be continued…
Part Nine | Part Eleven
Author: caramelapples11
Fandom: The Devil Wears Prada (film)
Pairing: Miranda/Andy
Archive: Please don't archive.
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters which are recognizable.
Summary: Andy Sachs wants to write. Miranda Priestly is a better businesswoman than her husband. It's 1912 and both women are aboard the RMS Titanic on its maiden voyage to New York. So what happens now?
Author's notes: I apologise greatly for the unofficial hiatus! School was/is busy, and the muse just wasn't co-operating. But I've finally, finally got this chapter done, and I'm incredibly nervous about it, more so than the previous chapters. Many thanks to ballion who's been there through every part of this, the writing, the ranting (yes, this too), the rewriting, the "Are you sure this is okay?" parts including the posting. Without her, this chapter would not be. All mistakes are mine. Thank you for all the wonderful support. I really appreciate it. I hope you'll enjoy it and please leave feedback! :) As usual, I'd love to know what you think.
Part Ten
The cold outside felt heavy against Andy’s skin as she tried to take larger - and less than dainty - steps in her dress. The decks were brilliantly lit and threw shadows outside in odd places. A few passengers were taking strolls outside, moving at a languid pace. The deck was hardly crowded (most were still having dinner or had moved on to other activities), but Andy didn’t think that it was wise to pick up her skirts and run.
Nevertheless, she hastened her pace, eyes discreetly searching ahead for a glimpse of white, for the woman who apparently wanted to have no relations whatsoever with her. Andy was sure that she had lost her mind; what was she doing - and where was Miranda?
How dare the world play tricks on Andy? How dare Miranda look like that and then leave and then expect Andy to not do anything about it? Not give Andy a chance to say anything at all. If only she could just explain and tell Miranda - explain what exactly? To not listen to what Sam had said at dinner, even if it had been nothing other than the truth? And why should she not listen to Sam if that was the case, or bother much about Andy because - well, she had said that she was going to leave Andy be, hadn’t she?
She huffed in frustration. Miranda had probably returned to her cabin.
Andy might have been as foolish as Miranda had implied, but she surely wasn’t foolish enough to search the entire ship - not one as large as the one she was on - for a woman who had the intention of avoiding her.
Maybe Miranda had noticed that Andy had been following her and decided to hide, however childish the notion might have been.
It was for the best, Andy thought, feeling hollow and numb. She had spent all afternoon convincing herself of this fact; might as well stay convinced, rather than destroy everything over how Miranda might have looked (at this, her heart clenched). Andy swallowed and tried to clear the forming lump in her throat.
Miranda made Andy stutter and lose her usual coherence, turned Andy into a babbling airhead. Miranda made Andy feel so many things at once that Andy had never known were possible.
All of those qualities were enough to turn Andy away from anyone else. But Miranda wasn’t merely anyone else. Like a moth drawn to a flame, Andy was drawn to Miranda, unaware (or uncaring) of the forthcoming burn.
Something warm and wet slid down Andy’s cheek and she lifted a gloved hand to brush it away furiously. A sharp sense of loss pierced her heart. It shouldn’t matter if she might not see Miranda again, once they arrive at New York City. After all, she could hardly say that Miranda was a friend.
“Tell me, do you kiss your friends, Andrea?”
She shouldn’t have. Oh! She shouldn’t have. What had she been thinking?! She had lost her mind, surely. It was not right for Andy to - did women kiss women? Andy didn’t think so. She had read, quite a considerable amount of time ago, that some men did kiss other men. The article had said it was a disease, a psychological defect. Was Andy ill too? She didn’t feel ill, not in the way that one might feel should one be having a cold. Perhaps mentally. Andy shuddered at the thought. She had distant cousin who had been institutionalised because of a mental illness. She didn't want the same fate to befall her.
Andy bit her lip and drew a deep breath to calm the tremulous emotions in her chest. She will not lose her dignity by desperately attempting to be a friend of someone who didn’t appreciate it.
Slowly, she made her way inside and towards her cabin.
Never had Andy felt more tormented and confused. She was unaware that she had been walking almost, aimlessly in manner, until something slammed right into her.
“Please care to watch where you’re going, Miss Sachs,” somebody said, from above her, and Andy straightened up to see Emily, looking down disdainfully at her, which was somewhat amazing, considering that Andy was sure that they were as tall as each other.
“I’m sorry,” Andy said, pushing some unruly tendrils of dark hair which had slipped from the barrettes on her hair, away from her forehead. “I was carried away by my thoughts. I didn’t see you,” she explained, hastily. Emily was a reminder of Miranda, and it suddenly seemed impossible to keep all thoughts of the woman away.
“Ah, dreaming, I see.”
Andy made a face, indignant. Why must Emily dislike her so? “I was not dreaming, Miss - uh -”
“You may call me Emily,” the other woman said.
“Right. And, uh - you may call me Andy?” It only seemed fair to offer the same, Andy thought.
“Andy. It’s practically all I hear, when Caroline and Cassidy are around.” Emily sniffed. “I reckon, Miranda has taken a liking to you,” she said, almost as though bestowing upon Andy a great secret.
Her heart started to beat faster. “Yes?”
“Not once has she told the girls to stop talking about you. Perhaps she likes hearing about you,” Emily said. Andy thought that she heard envy in the red-haired woman’s voice, but chose to say nothing about it. It was not her place.
“Perhaps,” Andy said faintly, feeling her palms dampen in her gloves. Andy felt sick, knowing how she had ruined everything. Why had she been so impulsive? So, so, foolish?
“Anyhow, I must be on my way. Miranda doesn’t take well to waiting,” Emily said, looking down at the drawstring bag hanging daintily on her arm. “Goodnight, Miss Sachs,” Emily said promptly, walking past Andy with purposeful strides.
Andy blinked, suddenly alert to everything. “Miranda is waiting?” she asked, barely able to keep from squeaking.
Emily paused, turning momentarily to face her. “Yes. She likes to take her swims privately.”
“Swimming? She’s going swimming? But I thought - I mean, the brochure said that it - the bath - was reserved for us in the morning? Us women, I mean,” Andy said, trying to sound as curious as possible about reserved times of the swimming facilities on the ship and not Miranda herself.
“Yes, but reserved for Miranda Priestly at night.”
“That’s -”
“Incredible, yes. But she cannot swim if I do not bring her appropriate swimming attire, wouldn’t you agree? Goodnight, Miss Sachs,” Emily said sharply, and left Andy alone, her footsteps echoing away.
Miranda was at the swimming bath. If Andy wanted, she could find Miranda there because Emily said Miranda was waiting for her there. If Andy wanted -
Andy wanted.
She rushed back to her cabin, immediately calling for Ellen to bring her swimming gown.
“You shan’t be goin’ an’ gettin’ yourself all wet at ‘is time of ‘e day, Miss Andy!” Ellen protested, as she undid Andy’s hair and redoing it into a simpler and more practical hairdo.
“Oh, Ellen, I have to!” Andy cried, whipping around so fast, Ellen took a step backward. “You just don’t understand!” Ellen helped her out of her gown before undoing the laces of her corset.
“No, I don’t understand at all,” Ellen said, flabbergasted. “It’s almost midnight, it is, Miss Andy an’ you want to go swimmin’? If your mother hears of it, she’d be mighty angry at you! It’s not proper for a lady! An’ you’d catch a cold, you wou’d.”
Andy moved away, leaving Ellen with the corset, unclasping the necklace around her neck, and the bracelet from her wrist before hastily dropping them on the dressing table. She slipped on the gown again with only her knickers and chemise underneath and grabbed the bag with her swimming gown Ellen had brought her.
Ellen grabbed Andy’s hand, preventing her from leaving. “What’re you doin’, Miss Andy? Jus’ what’re you doin’ wit’ yourself?”
“Don’t you worry, Ellen,” Andy said. How could she tell Ellen what she was doing when she had no idea herself on what she was doing? “Oh, dear Ellen, don’t you worry.” She kissed Ellen’s callused hands tenderly, her heart aching to see the tears in Ellen’s eyes.
“Miss Andy - ”
“I’ll be back soon, Ellen,” she said, heart thudding in her chest as she left.
-
Andy wasn’t quite sure if she would be allowed into the swimming bath but she decided not to think about that yet. If Ellen had any opinions on Andy’s moods or behaviour, she had yet to address it. Would Miranda be angry that Andy had found her?
The place was silent except for distant humming of the ship’s engines. Andy’s footsteps echoed quietly down the corridors, and she could almost feel her own erratic pulse. There was nobody in sight, nobody to tell her that the facilities were closed. Of course, it was closed to those who weren’t paying, possibly, a hundred pounds to reserve the entire swimming bath to themselves.
Andy wasn’t even aware that such a thing was possible.
Apparently, it was.
The doors to the swimming bath were closed, but Andy thought that she could hear faint sounds of rippling water. Andy pushed the door open, slowly, but it didn’t creak, and a tiled wall blocked her view of the pool. Yellow bulbs placed distantly from each other on the low ceiling lit the place. She expected to see Emily, somewhere, perhaps waiting for Miranda loyally, but didn’t.
The door closed smoothly behind her, and she gripped the strings of her drawstring bag tighter. Hesitation slowed her down. Andy heard the ripples of water clearly now, and moved toward the pool, heels clicking mutedly on the patterned tiles.
And there Miranda was, her body a shadow under the surface of the water. Long limbs moved gracefully, allowing their owner’s body to glide smoothly underwater. The pool was deep, and the water was about a two feet down the level Andy was on. She stared, not able to move. She opened her mouth to alert Miranda of her presence, but froze as Miranda broke through the surface of the water, unaware of her new companion.
Andy swallowed, realizing that she could see Miranda’s pale shoulders and back. She wasn’t wearing any “appropriate swimming attire” for all Andy knew. Andy couldn’t remember any sort of swimming costume which looked like the one Miranda had on. The white cloth looked -
“What are you doing here?”
Andy’s heart stopped, fear gripping her heart. Miranda was looking directly at her, blue eyes colder than ice during winter.
“I don’t - ”
“What. Are. You. Doing. Here?” her voice was no louder than a whisper, but deadly and made Andy quiver like a little girl.
“Miranda -”
“Get out!” Miranda hissed, eyes glinting dangerously.
Andy jumped, dropping her bag, but her feet refused to move.
“I said, get out!”
“N-no.” Firmly, firmly, firmly… Fear coiled in Andy’s stomach, but so did courage.
“What?”
“No, I need to tell you something first.”
“How dare you -”
“I dare! Oh, I dare! You said that you were going to leave me be! That you didn’t care for me, and you dare look like that and you wouldn’t look at me - and kept on looking like that -”
“Like what?”
“L-like somebody was hurting you, and it made me feel so horrible, and it hurt me for causing it.”
“When?”
“When Sam was talking about how we met and how he proposed,” Andy whispered. “You know what I’m speaking of, don’t you pretend you don’t. Don’t you lie. And you’re right, I am foolish. I don’t know why I’m here, if that is what you want to know. I have no idea as to why I decided to come here. I just wanted - I wanted to see you,” Andy said, quietly. “I thought… I didn’t want to hurt you. At dinner, I mean.”
Miranda scoffed. “You didn’t.”
“You - well, if that’s what you insist upon, Miranda, I’m glad. Truly, I am. But just in case you were… I care for Sam very much. I’m very fond of him, you know.”
Miranda’s face was blank and Andy couldn’t read what she thinking at all. “Yes, I know. If you’ve come to tell me that, rest assured that I am aware of that fact, and would very much preferred if you left this instant.”
Andy nodded. “As fond as I am of him,” she bit her lip. “I wanted to let you know that I don’t love him.” There. She said it. It was true. Andy knew that she should, but she didn’t, and for some reason, felt obliged to let Miranda know that. “I think - that’s all.”
Miranda tilted her head, but Andy pretended that she wasn’t watching her so intently. Andy picked up her bag and straightened her shoulders in an effort to look dignified. “I shall leave now,” she announced, somewhat awkwardly, but really didn’t care.
“Andrea.”
The syllables of her name said out loud made the hairs on her neck stand. She didn’t dare turn around. The doors were only a few steps away, if she left now… She heard ripples in the water and then, soft padding on the wooden ledge of the bath.
She shouldn’t, she shouldn’t, she shouldn’t. “Goodnight, Miranda,” rolled of the tip of her tongue, as she spun around to see Miranda standing in front of her, dripping wet.
“Emily said - she was bringing you…”
Miranda wasn’t wearing any sort of swimming gown - Andy stopped breathing that very instant. It truly was a glorious sight, and Andy’s bag slipped from her fingertips onto the floor for the second time that night.
“She did.”
Andy gaped. Was the chemise Miranda’s swimming attire?
The white cotton chemise clung onto Miranda’s body deliciously, and Andy’s face burned. She had never seen such beautiful expanse of skin in her entire life, and the shortness of the chemise allowed Andy to see sculpted legs and soft white thighs. She could see - Andy’s mouth went dry - the curves of Miranda’s bosom, and their hardened peaks, a rosy pink.
Andy’s legs, when they had been frozen earlier, now seemed to be moving forward on their own accord. Miranda reached out and touched Andy’s cheek, her hand was warm and wet, but Andy leaned into her touch.
“You’re such a young girl,” Miranda whispered, and Andy shook her head. “You are, so young, so beautiful, Andrea. So beautiful.”
Andy breathed, the heat in her belly spread through her body like wildfire. She leaned closer, feeling the warmth of Miranda on her own skin and kissed her cheek softly, briefly.
“Andrea.”
It felt wonderful to have Miranda so close to her again. She had felt utterly miserable and thought that she might just die with the notion of never seeing Miranda again only earlier today.
Andy kissed Miranda again, lightly, on her cheek. She pressed a hand against Miranda’s waist, to steady herself. Miranda gasped softly. Pressing her face into the crook of Andy’s neck, Miranda placed a small kiss at the bottom of Andy’s ear, before kissing the line of Andy’s jaw. Andy wanted to feel more of Miranda and touch Miranda and breathe Miranda if it was possible. Finally - oh, god, finally - their lips met and Andy felt -
Miranda pulled away, pressing against Andy’s shoulders. “No, Andrea. This is careless -” The words came out in a rush. “Stop.”
Andy stilled. No, not, again. No, she couldn’t bear offering her heart to someone only to have it torn into pieces. A lump formed in her throat. “No,” she whispered, not in defiance, but in disbelief at her own stupidity.
“You’re engaged to be married.”
“No, no, no.”
“Andrea…”
“You should have let me leave,” Andy muttered, shaking her head. Tears slipped down her cheeks. “Why did you call me back? You let me believe - you made me so happy, and you take it away the next second!" She couldn't bear it. "You’re cruel and self -”
Whatever else Andy might have said died in her throat, as Miranda pressed her body against hers, and her lips against Andy’s. She was soft, so very soft and warm, in Andy’s arms, and she clutched at Andy like a lifeline. Miranda nipped at Andy’s lip, like a kitten, and slid her arms around Andy’s neck.
Briefly, she pulled away, and looked at Andy with sad eyes. “Please don’t cry,” she whispered, brushing a thumb against Andy’s cheek. “I can’t bear to see you cry, not this morning, not now.”
“I won’t, if it upsets you,” Andy promised.
Miranda laughed, disbelievingly. “Me? Oh, my dear Andrea, I don’t want you to be upset.” The look she gave Andy was nothing short of tender. Andy’s belly flipped in the way it did whenever Miranda said something nice (Andy mostly had to do some work to decipher a compliment from Miranda but she didn’t mind) to her.
She had never been so overwhelmed with desire for another human being. It was quite odd, how the only thing she could think about was Miranda. But Miranda was so beautiful, exquisite really, and Andy couldn’t imagine her future without Miranda in it. She kissed Miranda again, because she could, because it was all she wanted to do at this very moment, and because not doing so felt strange. It filled Andy with so much joy, her heart might burst with the intensity of it. She stumbled slightly, for her knees buckled, and before she knew it, there was no ledge beneath her anymore, but plain thin air.
The splash was loud, and echoed through the room, but when Andy realized that she wasn’t the only one in the water, she panicked. She had somehow dragged Miranda down with her, and if she had hurt her - oh gosh, Andy would never forgive herself.
Andy sputtered and coughed, as she surfaced. The water was incredibly warm. “Miranda?” Oh god, where was she? Before she could dive down under again, she felt someone tugging at her left leg and squealed in surprise.
“Miranda!”
Wet silvery hair curled adorably around Miranda’s face, framing it beautifully. “Worried?” she asked, playfully, and Andy found herself in unfamiliar waters, like a tiny fish in a shark’s territory.
How could Miranda swing from such polar ends of emotions? A moment ago, she had been melancholy, and serious - but now - Andy couldn’t describe the fear and thrill she felt to be in Miranda’s presence. She couldn’t understand it.
“Well, yes - I mean, what if you had gotten hurt?” Andy said, petulantly. “It’s n-not very kind to make fun of one’s concern.”
“No, you’re right and I apologise,” Miranda said, gamely. Andy decided that Miranda really did like to watch her, for she was doing it again, with the head tilt and slightly pursed lips.
“Um - ” Andy’s gown was wet, and heavy, and it was getting tiring to keep herself afloat when the fabric was pulling her down. “I think I should - ” She managed to reach the stairs at the corner, leading out of the pool, but stopped when she felt Miranda’s hand on hers under the surface of the water.
“You really are so beautiful,” Miranda said, quietly, but kept her eyes averted.
Andy was breathing so fast it came out as gasps.
Miranda kissed her, for the second time tonight, and all thoughts of getting out of the water was abandoned. Andy stopped kicking her feet, and started sinking underwater, before Miranda wrapped her arms around Andy’s waist and pulled her back up.
“Your gown is heavy,” she whispered against Andy’s neck, and started to undo the buttons down the dress with nimble fingers.
“I brought a - a swimming gown.”
“You don’t need one,” Miranda said, confidently. Well, Andy thought, Miranda should know, since she wasn’t wearing one.
“Are you - are y-you undressing me?” Andy stammered, shaking like a leaf.
“Mm. Stay afloat,” Miranda commanded, and Andy started kicking in the water again.
Andy felt a small flick beneath her ear, and shook harder, tension coiling up inside of her like a spring. She squeezed her eyes shut. It was unbearable. Miranda’s hands ghosted along her arms, directing the movements of her limbs in the water.
“You can open your eyes now,” Miranda whispered in her ear, and Andy wondered how Miranda knew she had her eyes closed. The yellow lighting threw a beautiful hue on everything in the room, making Miranda look ethereal, like a sea nymph, Andy thought.
Andy swallowed, as she felt Miranda’s body against hers. It was completely different, with only their underclothes on and every nerve-end was on fire as Miranda brushed against her in the warm liquid.
She reached out, pulling Miranda closer as she latched onto Miranda’s lips. She couldn’t have enough of Miranda, the word didn’t exist right this moment. She could never have enough of Miranda. Sam had never made her feel like this before, and Andy wasn’t sure if she could live without it.
“Miranda, I -”
“Hush, now, my dear Andrea.”
Miranda’s hands roamed, feeling Andy’s stomach, and higher and higher and - oh! - Andy’s stomach twisted in knots as Miranda’s hands brushed against the curve of her bosom. She could feel her nipple tighten and pebble against Miranda’s palm. It embarrassed her but Miranda looked at her with such wonder and such tenderness that Andy could not find it in her heart to deny Miranda anything.
Andy moaned softly. “Miranda -”
Miranda’s fingers brush between her legs gently at first, so gently that she thought she might have been imagining it. But Andy throbbed with unfamiliar need, and arched as Miranda touched her again, through her knickers. Andy gasped, as a shock of pleasure shot through her body. It was all so new, so unfamiliar, but Miranda played her body like a well-tuned musical instrument.
“I don’t - Miranda!” Andy whimpered as Miranda began to stroke her, slowly, everything around her becoming a blur of random colours. She grasped around blindly for something to hold on to, but found nothing and splashed the water around her. “Please - please,” Andy gasped, feeling as though she was sinking, drowning… Tears sprang to her eyes as pleasure coursed through her body in waves.
Andy clutched onto Miranda, kissing her like she was life itself, pulling her down under the water, and all she could feel was the intense pleasure of how Miranda was making her feel. She had forgotten to breathe, and see and hear and all she could do was feel. In a whirl of chemise and long dark hair, they twisted together, as the water swallowed them, and tumbled through a dance that only they knew the moves to.
Andy stilled, silence expanded and she held her breath, hearing only their heartbeats in unison until her world imploded, vivid colours clouding her vision, and only thing she could hear was the song a thousand angelic symphonies playing as they rose to the surface of the water. The tears stinging her eyes earlier escaped, joining the water as she came apart with an intensity so deep she thought she might die.
She gasped for air the moment she could, her lungs burned but her soul floated. Andy held Miranda close, resting her forehead on Miranda’s shoulder as Miranda stroked her hair like she would to sooth a crying child. “Hush, now,” she said, over and over again, as Andy shook, and tried to breathe.
“I’ve never - Miranda, I don’t know -”
“My Andrea… Hush, my sweet Andrea.”
“I love you,” Andy blurted, finally able to give a name to what she had been feeling all this while, only magnified by a million times tonight. She did, oh, how she did! She couldn’t think of anything else that could be it.
Miranda stilled, but said nothing.
“I can’t bear the thought of my life without you in it, I really can’t.”
“Can’t you?” Miranda said, softly, after a moment, resuming the soothing motion of stroking Andy’s hair.
The sound of water rippling was calming. Andy shook her head against Miranda’s shoulder.
“Neither can I.”
It was so soft that Andy had to strain to hear it; as if Miranda didn’t want Andy to hear it. But Andy did hear it, and it made her glow and beam like the sun.
To be continued…
Part Nine | Part Eleven