Oh, Santander
(This post could be hashtagged 'firstworldproblems' and 'middleclassproblems'. But this is Livejournal.)
So, I got round to sorting out my mortgage. I'd been on the SVR for rather too long, and finally pulled my finger out and found a product I wanted. Based on various things, I decided to stay with Santander - my existing mortgage was with A&L, the mortgage I wanted was with the Santander half. Due to various things, this can't be done solely over the phone, as I could if I were a proper-Santander customer in the first place, who could just say "Renew me onto the mumble-year fixed rate" or whatever.
So, phone up, spend twenty-five minutes talking to Pritesh, large amounts of which is him having to read me disclaimers and confirming that I don't want blah, blah, and blah, confirming that they're not advising me on anything, and all that sort of stuff. So far, so expected. He explains the paperwork, which is going to involve three sets of things being mailed to me, which I have to return before the next is sent. This sounds like Quite A Lot Of Faff, but it's only signing a few forms, and if I went anywhere else I'd be having to photocopy my lifestory so they can see I can pay, so it's not too bad, really.
It's a Saturday, and offices being what they are, I'm not expecting anything to go into the post until Monday. Hopefully it'd be first class. But seven days later, still nothing has turned up. This is problematic, because the offer is valid for 14 days.
I phone up again and talk to Jo W, who apologises profusely. She sounds concerned, but I brush it off as being nothing terribly exciting, gremlins in the post. I can't remember if she extended the period of the offer (so I could get it and return it), I think she did.
Still nothing turns up, so I phone up and speak to Gita. (This is now roughly two weeks from the first time I called.) She is extremely no nonsense about the whole thing, and explains that the people I spoke to previously probably didn't have the right printer settings. The particular mortgage I want uses a different printer. She also can't find any notes indicating that I spoke to Jo W, though apparently there is some record that I spoke to someone on that date. She arranges to send the offer out again, probably extending the offer period again - since the original had just expired, that's kinda handy.
Again, nothing. I think it was at this point that I took the various people I'd spoken to at their words, and followed the instructions they'd given me if I needed to call back. Specifically, when I called up to arrange the mortgage the first time, and every other time, I'd followed the phone prompt that said "If you're an Alliance and Leicester mortgage customer, press 2." Pritesh, Jo W, and Gita had all been very specific that I should call back and press 1 at that point in the TUI. 1, it turns out, takes you to a different bit of the call centre that opens different hours, and covers Santander mortgage holders. Somewhat weirdly, to my mind, they do not have access to offers being made to customers, so I needed to contact the Alliance and Leicester half again - who weren't open at that hour. Yay.
So we're now about three weeks in and I phone back and speak to Krishma P. (I have no idea how she actually spells her name, there seem to be many variations.) I explain everything, including Gita's printer theory. Krishma is very sceptical of that as a reason, because the system will - apparently - prevent you from printing anything to the wrong printer. She's concerned about the issues I've had, so arranges to have the paperwork sent by recorded delivery. This is a Saturday - so presumably three weeks to the day from my conversation with Pritesh - and she's not sure if the post room will be open to arrange this that day, so maybe it'll go out on Monday. I confirm that this will mean I can phone up and get a tracking number.
All along, there's been the slight nervousness of "What if someone is stealing my mail?" Seems unlikely, but I get paranoid when weird stuff happens. Loss or incompetence are massively more likely. But I also get my passport renewed while all this is going on. That turns up, as does the original, and I figure that if a postworker is going to nab anything, it's something clearly passport-sized with a huge Passport Service stamp on it.
It doesn't turn up on Monday, nor is there a "While you were out..." card on my doormat. Tuesday morning, I call up first thing and ask for the tracking number. By now, it must have been sent out - either on Saturday or on Monday. Err, there isn't one. Because somehow it didn't get sent out.
Debbie, for she is the call centre lady I talk to on Tuesday, explains what's probably going on. She and her colleagues are sat in a call centre in Leicester. She types into her computer in Leicester. However, the 'print room' is not in Leicester - that's elsewhere, where people pick up print-outs, bundle them up into envelopes and post them out. The print room used to be in Bradford. It has very recently moved to Glasgow. They are, apparently, having some "teething problems". (You reckon?) My mortgage offer, which was originally set to be valid for 14 days and is now up to 28 days, will expire in under a week. So I ask if it can be extended again. Debbie instead has to cancel it and issue me with a new, identical offer. This fills me with dread but, in violation of my experiences so far, the offer I will get is the offer I was expecting.
Debbie is, in fact, pretty good at her job. She calls Glasgow directly, marches them through sending out the papers by recorded delivery, and calls me back with the tracking number. It actually turns up on Wednesday (while I'm at work), so I can pick it up from the sorting office on Thursday morning.
Sign that set of papers and send it back. Another set turns up about a week later. Sign that, and send it back. Based on Pritesh's original comments, I'm expecting a third item.
I believe that at this point, the Santander half of Santander complete the mortgage and poke the Alliance and Leicester half. Alliance and Leicester send me a form telling how the redemption value was calculated. It has large black letters on the first page saying that I must send this form back when redeeming my mortgage. The back page has four options - none of which apply to me. Phone up, "Oh no, despite the fact that it says YOU MUST SEND THIS FORM BACK, you don't need to send this form back."
I finally, finally get paperwork that finally, finally confirms everything's set up.
Some time before, I'd had an ISA with Santander. I'd transferred it away when the bonus rate ran out, but the online banking logon still worked. (It just showed me I had no accounts with them.) Logging in now, it shows me I have a mortgage (including the account number), but no details of the balance, and no ability to manage it. Sigh.
Let's phone up again. "Hi there, I have this mortgage and I want to manage it online, and when I log in to my existing online banking logon, it shows me the mortgage, but it doesn't let me manage it." "Oh, we'll need to set you up with a new online banking account." "Can't you just activate it here? Your website says I can manage all my accounts from one logon." "No, you need a different login to manage a mortgage. I can set you one up if you want?" "Yes, I want to be able to manage my mortgage online. It's part of why I picked this mortgage." "Okay, jot this down, and I'll put stuff in the post."
Wait for paperwork to turn up. The first bit turns up four or five days later, the second bit a couple of days later - because if your postman or housemates are stealing from you, it's really hard for them to steal both parts, I guess.
Log in with the new credentials, set things up - my cat's maiden name, my step-uncle's shoe size, that sort of thing. And now for the final log-in...
...I can see I have a mortgage with the account number, but no details of the balance, and no ability to manage it. Sigh.
Phone up the online banking helpdesk! "Is your account view only?" "I don't think so. When I click round the options, there's a setting that tells me I can change it to view-only, but I can't find anything that says it is already." "Did you fill in and send us a View and Transact form?" "No, I found that on your website when I was just trying to work out what was going on, and it says I would only need to fill in one of those if there were multiple names on the mortgage, and the mortgage is only for me." "Can I put you on hold?" *brief pause* "So yes, I think you're right that you don't need to fill in a View and Transact form, but I need to speak to mortgages and see if your account has been configured correctly, and they're shut. Can you call back tomorrow?" Sigh.
Call back tomorrow. Explain what happened last night, and mention that the woman last night thought she'd have to speak to mortgages. "Can I put you on hold?" Wait. A totally different person picks up, who's in the mortgages department. "Oh hi, sorry, I wasn't expecting to be transferred. So what's happened is... And I guess I've been transferred to you to check if the mortgage is set up correctly?" "Did you say your mortgage was with Santander?" "I did, yes." "Oh, well, I'm very sorry but you've been put through to Alliance and Leicester mortgages. Let me put you through to a colleague."
That colleague does enable things and tells me to wait overnight. From experience, I know that "wait overnight" is typically code for "It might not happen immediately, so don't call back until tomorrow just because it doesn't work RIGHT THIS SECOND", so I try a couple of hours later and, ta-da, it's fine.
Now trying to experiment with the online banking to make sure I can do what I need. It's not the most intuitive interface in the world, but it appears to work. The particular annoyance was that it wouldn't confirm where some money goes until after I hit Submit. (The mortgage has two pots, possible surpluses, and such.) It takes a few days to transfer some money around, so I haven't yet been able to check the money will go in as I expect. I'm moving like 20 quid to start with, just to check.
Oh, Santander.
So, I got round to sorting out my mortgage. I'd been on the SVR for rather too long, and finally pulled my finger out and found a product I wanted. Based on various things, I decided to stay with Santander - my existing mortgage was with A&L, the mortgage I wanted was with the Santander half. Due to various things, this can't be done solely over the phone, as I could if I were a proper-Santander customer in the first place, who could just say "Renew me onto the mumble-year fixed rate" or whatever.
So, phone up, spend twenty-five minutes talking to Pritesh, large amounts of which is him having to read me disclaimers and confirming that I don't want blah, blah, and blah, confirming that they're not advising me on anything, and all that sort of stuff. So far, so expected. He explains the paperwork, which is going to involve three sets of things being mailed to me, which I have to return before the next is sent. This sounds like Quite A Lot Of Faff, but it's only signing a few forms, and if I went anywhere else I'd be having to photocopy my lifestory so they can see I can pay, so it's not too bad, really.
It's a Saturday, and offices being what they are, I'm not expecting anything to go into the post until Monday. Hopefully it'd be first class. But seven days later, still nothing has turned up. This is problematic, because the offer is valid for 14 days.
I phone up again and talk to Jo W, who apologises profusely. She sounds concerned, but I brush it off as being nothing terribly exciting, gremlins in the post. I can't remember if she extended the period of the offer (so I could get it and return it), I think she did.
Still nothing turns up, so I phone up and speak to Gita. (This is now roughly two weeks from the first time I called.) She is extremely no nonsense about the whole thing, and explains that the people I spoke to previously probably didn't have the right printer settings. The particular mortgage I want uses a different printer. She also can't find any notes indicating that I spoke to Jo W, though apparently there is some record that I spoke to someone on that date. She arranges to send the offer out again, probably extending the offer period again - since the original had just expired, that's kinda handy.
Again, nothing. I think it was at this point that I took the various people I'd spoken to at their words, and followed the instructions they'd given me if I needed to call back. Specifically, when I called up to arrange the mortgage the first time, and every other time, I'd followed the phone prompt that said "If you're an Alliance and Leicester mortgage customer, press 2." Pritesh, Jo W, and Gita had all been very specific that I should call back and press 1 at that point in the TUI. 1, it turns out, takes you to a different bit of the call centre that opens different hours, and covers Santander mortgage holders. Somewhat weirdly, to my mind, they do not have access to offers being made to customers, so I needed to contact the Alliance and Leicester half again - who weren't open at that hour. Yay.
So we're now about three weeks in and I phone back and speak to Krishma P. (I have no idea how she actually spells her name, there seem to be many variations.) I explain everything, including Gita's printer theory. Krishma is very sceptical of that as a reason, because the system will - apparently - prevent you from printing anything to the wrong printer. She's concerned about the issues I've had, so arranges to have the paperwork sent by recorded delivery. This is a Saturday - so presumably three weeks to the day from my conversation with Pritesh - and she's not sure if the post room will be open to arrange this that day, so maybe it'll go out on Monday. I confirm that this will mean I can phone up and get a tracking number.
All along, there's been the slight nervousness of "What if someone is stealing my mail?" Seems unlikely, but I get paranoid when weird stuff happens. Loss or incompetence are massively more likely. But I also get my passport renewed while all this is going on. That turns up, as does the original, and I figure that if a postworker is going to nab anything, it's something clearly passport-sized with a huge Passport Service stamp on it.
It doesn't turn up on Monday, nor is there a "While you were out..." card on my doormat. Tuesday morning, I call up first thing and ask for the tracking number. By now, it must have been sent out - either on Saturday or on Monday. Err, there isn't one. Because somehow it didn't get sent out.
Debbie, for she is the call centre lady I talk to on Tuesday, explains what's probably going on. She and her colleagues are sat in a call centre in Leicester. She types into her computer in Leicester. However, the 'print room' is not in Leicester - that's elsewhere, where people pick up print-outs, bundle them up into envelopes and post them out. The print room used to be in Bradford. It has very recently moved to Glasgow. They are, apparently, having some "teething problems". (You reckon?) My mortgage offer, which was originally set to be valid for 14 days and is now up to 28 days, will expire in under a week. So I ask if it can be extended again. Debbie instead has to cancel it and issue me with a new, identical offer. This fills me with dread but, in violation of my experiences so far, the offer I will get is the offer I was expecting.
Debbie is, in fact, pretty good at her job. She calls Glasgow directly, marches them through sending out the papers by recorded delivery, and calls me back with the tracking number. It actually turns up on Wednesday (while I'm at work), so I can pick it up from the sorting office on Thursday morning.
Sign that set of papers and send it back. Another set turns up about a week later. Sign that, and send it back. Based on Pritesh's original comments, I'm expecting a third item.
I believe that at this point, the Santander half of Santander complete the mortgage and poke the Alliance and Leicester half. Alliance and Leicester send me a form telling how the redemption value was calculated. It has large black letters on the first page saying that I must send this form back when redeeming my mortgage. The back page has four options - none of which apply to me. Phone up, "Oh no, despite the fact that it says YOU MUST SEND THIS FORM BACK, you don't need to send this form back."
I finally, finally get paperwork that finally, finally confirms everything's set up.
Some time before, I'd had an ISA with Santander. I'd transferred it away when the bonus rate ran out, but the online banking logon still worked. (It just showed me I had no accounts with them.) Logging in now, it shows me I have a mortgage (including the account number), but no details of the balance, and no ability to manage it. Sigh.
Let's phone up again. "Hi there, I have this mortgage and I want to manage it online, and when I log in to my existing online banking logon, it shows me the mortgage, but it doesn't let me manage it." "Oh, we'll need to set you up with a new online banking account." "Can't you just activate it here? Your website says I can manage all my accounts from one logon." "No, you need a different login to manage a mortgage. I can set you one up if you want?" "Yes, I want to be able to manage my mortgage online. It's part of why I picked this mortgage." "Okay, jot this down, and I'll put stuff in the post."
Wait for paperwork to turn up. The first bit turns up four or five days later, the second bit a couple of days later - because if your postman or housemates are stealing from you, it's really hard for them to steal both parts, I guess.
Log in with the new credentials, set things up - my cat's maiden name, my step-uncle's shoe size, that sort of thing. And now for the final log-in...
...I can see I have a mortgage with the account number, but no details of the balance, and no ability to manage it. Sigh.
Phone up the online banking helpdesk! "Is your account view only?" "I don't think so. When I click round the options, there's a setting that tells me I can change it to view-only, but I can't find anything that says it is already." "Did you fill in and send us a View and Transact form?" "No, I found that on your website when I was just trying to work out what was going on, and it says I would only need to fill in one of those if there were multiple names on the mortgage, and the mortgage is only for me." "Can I put you on hold?" *brief pause* "So yes, I think you're right that you don't need to fill in a View and Transact form, but I need to speak to mortgages and see if your account has been configured correctly, and they're shut. Can you call back tomorrow?" Sigh.
Call back tomorrow. Explain what happened last night, and mention that the woman last night thought she'd have to speak to mortgages. "Can I put you on hold?" Wait. A totally different person picks up, who's in the mortgages department. "Oh hi, sorry, I wasn't expecting to be transferred. So what's happened is... And I guess I've been transferred to you to check if the mortgage is set up correctly?" "Did you say your mortgage was with Santander?" "I did, yes." "Oh, well, I'm very sorry but you've been put through to Alliance and Leicester mortgages. Let me put you through to a colleague."
That colleague does enable things and tells me to wait overnight. From experience, I know that "wait overnight" is typically code for "It might not happen immediately, so don't call back until tomorrow just because it doesn't work RIGHT THIS SECOND", so I try a couple of hours later and, ta-da, it's fine.
Now trying to experiment with the online banking to make sure I can do what I need. It's not the most intuitive interface in the world, but it appears to work. The particular annoyance was that it wouldn't confirm where some money goes until after I hit Submit. (The mortgage has two pots, possible surpluses, and such.) It takes a few days to transfer some money around, so I haven't yet been able to check the money will go in as I expect. I'm moving like 20 quid to start with, just to check.
Oh, Santander.