(no subject)
Maybe posting more often will encourage me to be more proactive these days.
I haven't been doing much for my *gulp* career since my last show almost three weeks ago. Lame... I've been feeling sorry for myself, thinking that I may have made a mistake in coming back. Being away didn't make me appreciate LA more, in fact quite the opposite. Now I have no idea what I really want in life, because everything I seem to want to do involves him and I have no care whatsoever for any life in music. I have dreams of opening a cafe in Sao Paulo or Florence, baking cookies and having friends perform there, living life slowly and appreciating the beautifully simple things. Ridiculous, no? I look at the other young singers I now who are working their asses off for gigs, making CDs, trying to play with everyone, and I'm completely turned off. I feel like it's all a competition, even though I know it doesn't have to be, and I don't want to participate. I want to have my own place to live, grow a garden, cook for friends, sing when I feel it, read, watch, and experience all kinds of art, and have a family in five or ten years. What happened to my ambition? I just had a great opportunity, a gig on a Friday night at the Catalina Club handed to me, and since then I haven't done ANYTHING productive.
Jesus. I really need to get over myself and do something in this life.
Do any of you girls ever lose your ambitions? Or am I just crazy/lazy/lost/weak...?
I haven't been doing much for my *gulp* career since my last show almost three weeks ago. Lame... I've been feeling sorry for myself, thinking that I may have made a mistake in coming back. Being away didn't make me appreciate LA more, in fact quite the opposite. Now I have no idea what I really want in life, because everything I seem to want to do involves him and I have no care whatsoever for any life in music. I have dreams of opening a cafe in Sao Paulo or Florence, baking cookies and having friends perform there, living life slowly and appreciating the beautifully simple things. Ridiculous, no? I look at the other young singers I now who are working their asses off for gigs, making CDs, trying to play with everyone, and I'm completely turned off. I feel like it's all a competition, even though I know it doesn't have to be, and I don't want to participate. I want to have my own place to live, grow a garden, cook for friends, sing when I feel it, read, watch, and experience all kinds of art, and have a family in five or ten years. What happened to my ambition? I just had a great opportunity, a gig on a Friday night at the Catalina Club handed to me, and since then I haven't done ANYTHING productive.
Jesus. I really need to get over myself and do something in this life.
Do any of you girls ever lose your ambitions? Or am I just crazy/lazy/lost/weak...?