Frazzled
Yeah, so the writing’s not going so well. 30-40 pages of me RAMBLING on about literature by Bronte and Dickens and then RAMBLING some more about how public schools sucked and private schools were abusive. …. And I’m not even going to mention how many of those pages I have written that I’m planning on keeping. It’s like…. less than a handful. I don’t know if I can re-write a 30-40 page thesis in five days. I don’t know if I can keep my sanity any longer while continually hitting a brick wall.
That’s a lie, I know I can do it…
I just really don’t want to. Depressed. Discouraged. Lonely. Semi-Ill (migraines three times this week, it’s only Wednesday). Not to mention that I’m getting super super stressed about working over this next year and getting all my stuff ready to apply to grad schools. I swear to the gods of academia, if I make it through next week, I’m doing to give myself a giant pat on the back and do whatever the hell I want to.
I’m even reconsidering how much I want the doctorate I’ve always striven for. If this is what is is store for the next 7 or 8 years of my academic career, maybe I’m not cut out to be a professor. Maybe I should just start looking for MA’s in education and start liking the idea of teaching High school. *shudder* I’m only 19, I’m not ready for an identity crisis! I just realized that I graduate on june 10. Exactly 12 days after my birthday. I’ll be 19 years and twelve days old with my BA.
Holy Shit.
And I’m expected to be able to handle all this nonsense?!?!?!?!?!
I can’t afford any distractions right now, but I need a break. I’m going to the gym to see if I can manage my stress levels in a natural way.