In this world but not of it
I think I failed to write about G's kindness club this year. According to her, there was a girl in her grade (but not in her class) that was being "mean" to other girls (not to G in particular.) This, G and her friend decided, was unacceptable. So they formed a kindness club and thought of ways to make people feel good, including this girl. Every day they would find something nice to say this to girl but, as G clarified, not too much, in case she thought they were making fun of her instead of really demonstrating how to be a friend. G told me that her friend told her that when she had a conversation about this situation with her mom, the mom suggested that maybe the mean girl's mom didn't set a good example of how to treat others. Maybe the girl simply had not seen how she should treat others. So G and her friend set out to set that example for her.
There are many things I do not do well as a mom, a wife, and a homemaker. Many many. But the fact that I talk to my kids whenever possible about the need to consider how others will be affected by their words and actions is one thing I think I am doing OK on. My kids do not flaunt their successes. They do not (to my knowledge) participate in name-calling or plots to put others down. I know that this is going on around them. I know that it has always gone on between kids. I know that it goes on between adults. The only way I know to stop it is one person at a time.
Today G came home from the neighbor's house with red eyes. "Have you been crying?" I asked her. She had. She was very sad. Why? Because her new friend, our neighbor, was going to pizza night at the farm with our other neighbors, and the girls from that family, with whom G had been playing, had been rubbing it in as much as possible that they were going with new neighbors and G was not. The new girl tried to alleviate G's distress by telling the little girls not to talk about it, but they said, "Well we've already told her a thousand times!!" Then the new friend asked her mom if G and I could be invited to come as well, but the mom said no. My guess is that it wasn't her party to start with, and you can't very well add your own friends onto someone else's invitation. She probably also thought that it was another example of the G and E mutual obsession. I think E was really just trying to make G feel better. She came and rang our doorbell to see if G was OK.
It's hard to explain to a growing girl why others act in such a way. I don't understand it. It's hard to explain to someone who is trying her best to grow up in the kingdom why others might not be. I don't get that either. The kingdom isn't about being most popular or about having the best stuff, but it seems to me that those are not ingredients for being liked by others. Why would you want to be a person who makes others feel badly? I just can't imagine. Thank God.
There are many things I do not do well as a mom, a wife, and a homemaker. Many many. But the fact that I talk to my kids whenever possible about the need to consider how others will be affected by their words and actions is one thing I think I am doing OK on. My kids do not flaunt their successes. They do not (to my knowledge) participate in name-calling or plots to put others down. I know that this is going on around them. I know that it has always gone on between kids. I know that it goes on between adults. The only way I know to stop it is one person at a time.
Today G came home from the neighbor's house with red eyes. "Have you been crying?" I asked her. She had. She was very sad. Why? Because her new friend, our neighbor, was going to pizza night at the farm with our other neighbors, and the girls from that family, with whom G had been playing, had been rubbing it in as much as possible that they were going with new neighbors and G was not. The new girl tried to alleviate G's distress by telling the little girls not to talk about it, but they said, "Well we've already told her a thousand times!!" Then the new friend asked her mom if G and I could be invited to come as well, but the mom said no. My guess is that it wasn't her party to start with, and you can't very well add your own friends onto someone else's invitation. She probably also thought that it was another example of the G and E mutual obsession. I think E was really just trying to make G feel better. She came and rang our doorbell to see if G was OK.
It's hard to explain to a growing girl why others act in such a way. I don't understand it. It's hard to explain to someone who is trying her best to grow up in the kingdom why others might not be. I don't get that either. The kingdom isn't about being most popular or about having the best stuff, but it seems to me that those are not ingredients for being liked by others. Why would you want to be a person who makes others feel badly? I just can't imagine. Thank God.