even my icons are boring
so, in a final act of desperation, i update the blog (a word i hate -- blog that is). updating blogs as a means to procrastinate. i'm printing out the most recent pages of my book to try to revise them a bit, which is a process i always hate. revision, to me, is looking at your work with a magnifying glass and circling every time you started a sentence with "i" and thinking -- nobody wants to read Franny and Zooey meets Prozac Nation meets The Bell Jar meets Monty Python. Especially if the main character is completely egocentric.
whatever.
my lovely james once said (after i uttered, i think, "save me"), "darlin, you don't need anybody to save you but yourself."
i'm feeling especially in need of salvation lately of the non-destructive sort. it's a bitter pill when you finally realize that no one will save you but yourself because everyone else is already too wrapped up in their own salvation to notice that you might be drowning in a puddle of vomit in the corner of the room. the pill becomes even more unsavory when you realize that if you are indeed in charge of your own salvation, then you'd better take leave of your self-destructive bent or you're in big trouble, for sure. even worse when the potential for self-destruction seems the only thing that has saved you time and time again.
the weather's cold and i'm tired of being in a sleepy house. i'm cagey and terrified of stagnation. i don't really care where the train takes me, i just hope it's leaving soon.
whatever.
my lovely james once said (after i uttered, i think, "save me"), "darlin, you don't need anybody to save you but yourself."
i'm feeling especially in need of salvation lately of the non-destructive sort. it's a bitter pill when you finally realize that no one will save you but yourself because everyone else is already too wrapped up in their own salvation to notice that you might be drowning in a puddle of vomit in the corner of the room. the pill becomes even more unsavory when you realize that if you are indeed in charge of your own salvation, then you'd better take leave of your self-destructive bent or you're in big trouble, for sure. even worse when the potential for self-destruction seems the only thing that has saved you time and time again.
the weather's cold and i'm tired of being in a sleepy house. i'm cagey and terrified of stagnation. i don't really care where the train takes me, i just hope it's leaving soon.