you take on the bull, you get the horns
Okay, so I went to the Angola State Prison Annual Rodeo yesterday.
This is the must-see event for anyone visiting Louisiana -- after Mardi Gras, that is.
Perhaps I'm biased because this is the first real rodeo I've attended, but there is just something exciting about seeing these convicts fight for their life in a ring with wild horses, bulls and cows. Here were the highlights:
1. Bull Poker. America's favorite card game is played by four inmates in red chairs casually keeping their poker faces around a red card table. A couple seconds after they start their game, a gate is opened and a bull comes wandering out. This bull looks around and when he sees the poker game he just stops. Then he charges, sticking his bull horns down to the ground and then quickly springing them upward, right under on of our player's chairs. This sends him flying some ten feet in the air, body flailing wildly. Incidentally, this brings about two effects: 1) he's out of the running because the last person left sitting at the table is the winner in this match and 2) the EMT's are running over to him because he's not getting up. WHERE ELSE CAN YOU GET LIVE ENTERTAINMENT LIKE THIS?!?
2. Wild Cow Milking. Yes! Three prisoners must reel in a crazy wild cow with a rope and get close enough to get their glove wet with the cow's milk. Sound easy? Who are you more afraid of, a pissed-off man or a pissed-off woman? Well imagine grabbing a pissed-off woman's tit and squeezing it while your buddies try to hold her in place. Now you know what that cow's going to do to you if your buddies don't hold her. She's gonna fuck you up.
3. Guts & Glory. An event unique to Angola. They pick the meanest, toughest bull and tie a poker chip between his long horns. They then release about 30 inmates and whoever pulls the poker chip off wins $500. It's rather comical to see an convict run towards the bull to grab it, only to have the bull fling him through the air like a hackey sack. $500 can buy you a lot of cigarettes and bitches in prison.
Oh, and I got into the rodeo for free. All I spent was a few bucks on lunch, in which case I treated myself to "chicken-on-a-stick." When in Rome...
This is the must-see event for anyone visiting Louisiana -- after Mardi Gras, that is.
Perhaps I'm biased because this is the first real rodeo I've attended, but there is just something exciting about seeing these convicts fight for their life in a ring with wild horses, bulls and cows. Here were the highlights:
1. Bull Poker. America's favorite card game is played by four inmates in red chairs casually keeping their poker faces around a red card table. A couple seconds after they start their game, a gate is opened and a bull comes wandering out. This bull looks around and when he sees the poker game he just stops. Then he charges, sticking his bull horns down to the ground and then quickly springing them upward, right under on of our player's chairs. This sends him flying some ten feet in the air, body flailing wildly. Incidentally, this brings about two effects: 1) he's out of the running because the last person left sitting at the table is the winner in this match and 2) the EMT's are running over to him because he's not getting up. WHERE ELSE CAN YOU GET LIVE ENTERTAINMENT LIKE THIS?!?
2. Wild Cow Milking. Yes! Three prisoners must reel in a crazy wild cow with a rope and get close enough to get their glove wet with the cow's milk. Sound easy? Who are you more afraid of, a pissed-off man or a pissed-off woman? Well imagine grabbing a pissed-off woman's tit and squeezing it while your buddies try to hold her in place. Now you know what that cow's going to do to you if your buddies don't hold her. She's gonna fuck you up.
3. Guts & Glory. An event unique to Angola. They pick the meanest, toughest bull and tie a poker chip between his long horns. They then release about 30 inmates and whoever pulls the poker chip off wins $500. It's rather comical to see an convict run towards the bull to grab it, only to have the bull fling him through the air like a hackey sack. $500 can buy you a lot of cigarettes and bitches in prison.
Oh, and I got into the rodeo for free. All I spent was a few bucks on lunch, in which case I treated myself to "chicken-on-a-stick." When in Rome...