the quiet of night is my still regret
well. not really. but every still silent moment of night creeps into me and makes me toss and turn like I am dancing in my bed. really.
so now that I have dealt with all of the problems that have made me ache, this long entrenched anxiety whips me so hard and so frequently that I can't calm the sounds and the misery in my head.
2.5 years later and my kid is having a hard time dealing with the split. crying about a family needing a dad and a mom.
I just want to run away, and hang with the fairies in the forest, and make magic with the moon. But instead, Ill stay here in the city, driving spikes of memories into my brain, attempting to drive them all the way out, like a cluster of cattle, and trying to calm the nerves of my little girl, who has been so hurt, ultimately the same way I have by her dads behaviour.
so now that I have dealt with all of the problems that have made me ache, this long entrenched anxiety whips me so hard and so frequently that I can't calm the sounds and the misery in my head.
2.5 years later and my kid is having a hard time dealing with the split. crying about a family needing a dad and a mom.
I just want to run away, and hang with the fairies in the forest, and make magic with the moon. But instead, Ill stay here in the city, driving spikes of memories into my brain, attempting to drive them all the way out, like a cluster of cattle, and trying to calm the nerves of my little girl, who has been so hurt, ultimately the same way I have by her dads behaviour.