Teeth ripped out
Yesterday I was at Grease practice and we had to do some sort of weird dance thing for “Greased Lightning”. They had me do a straddle-jump and I’m pretty sure I broke my toe. Then we had to do some weird things, like it starts out with us jumping and one guy does a cartwheel, but before I knew it Greg was giving Kenickie a piggy-back ride and I was carrying Trey in a human-wheel barrow type thing.
I was under the knife today. But did any of you care? No. Maybe if you brought soup to my house or something that could make up for being horrible friends. But you probably didn’t know because I didn’t tell anybody or announce it. I guess it just slipped my mind. But any and all soup is still appreciated. I spoke to a few people about it. Alex told me the only way to describe it is “When you’re done you’ll look like Marlon Brando and feel like Jigglypuff”. I guess Jigglypuff deals with a lot of shit.
The office I went to had this easy-to-get-around design where there are no doors and about half a wall blocking the operating rooms from the hallways. So the entire time I was at the dentists office all I could hear were the horrible whirring of saws and drills. Just like in the cartoons. You’d think instead of using my money for his next three boat payments, he might save up and buy a door or two.
They brought me back into the room about 30 minutes early for no reason at all except to make me think about sharp things in my mouth. They hooked me up with the electrodes, put a blood-pressure monitor on my arm and a bonnet on my head, then left. I spent the next half-hour trying to manipulate my pulse. I could get it between high 50s and about 110, but that bored me after a while.
When the dentist came in he went immediately for the I.V. that I didn’t even realize was there. I don’t mind needles that go in then come out, but I.V.s? What the Hell?
“Hey Doc, is there any way you can knock me out before you stab me?”
“…Well,” he continues to prepare my arm, “perception is half of everything, and ‘stab’ isn’t a word you should be think of right now.”
That’s a doctorly way avoid the question. But before I knew it I could feel the needle in my arm. The stuff in the I.V. started to flow through me and I could feel it moving up my arm, through my veins. That was… uncomfortable. Interesting, but uncomfortable. He got up and left immediately.
You know how you pee before you go on a road trip? Well just so you remember, surgery is in the same boat. To go pee the electrodes had to be unhooked from the machine and I had to carry the I.V. into the bathroom with me. When I got back into my seat the nurses put that almost mask thing and stuck it in my nose.
“Should I be getting sleepy now?”
“No, the mask is just oxygen and that’s just sugar water” she said, pointing to the I.V.
“Are you serious?”
“No, that’s sugar water flowing the IV, candy-gas pumping into your mask, and those electrodes are just measuring your ‘happy’ levels.”
Ok maybe I made up the last part but, what is she kidding me? Why the Hell would they put sugar-water in my veins? After I asked she explained that, she made a bet with another nurse to see how long it would take before anybody noticed. Luck of the draw, I guess.
After the doctor put the real drug in my I.V. with the sugar water, the room started spinning. More specifically the ceiling.When I woke up, they were still putting in the stitches, I think, but I couldn’t feel it anyway, they were just hunched over my face.
The first thing out of my father’s mouth when I got home was “Hey, you look just like Marlon Brando.” Is it really that obvious? “How do you feel?”
“…Jiggle... puff…”
I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror and sure enough the Don was staring back at me. Slept for 6 or so hours. Then my mom made me soup, because mom’s do that stuff for sick kids. Then she went with my Dad to the art walk, because mom’s leave the house when their kids are sick. Now I'm here with guaze in my mouth and holes in jaw. I finished my soup. Like I said, wouldn’t mind more.
I was under the knife today. But did any of you care? No. Maybe if you brought soup to my house or something that could make up for being horrible friends. But you probably didn’t know because I didn’t tell anybody or announce it. I guess it just slipped my mind. But any and all soup is still appreciated. I spoke to a few people about it. Alex told me the only way to describe it is “When you’re done you’ll look like Marlon Brando and feel like Jigglypuff”. I guess Jigglypuff deals with a lot of shit.
The office I went to had this easy-to-get-around design where there are no doors and about half a wall blocking the operating rooms from the hallways. So the entire time I was at the dentists office all I could hear were the horrible whirring of saws and drills. Just like in the cartoons. You’d think instead of using my money for his next three boat payments, he might save up and buy a door or two.
They brought me back into the room about 30 minutes early for no reason at all except to make me think about sharp things in my mouth. They hooked me up with the electrodes, put a blood-pressure monitor on my arm and a bonnet on my head, then left. I spent the next half-hour trying to manipulate my pulse. I could get it between high 50s and about 110, but that bored me after a while.
When the dentist came in he went immediately for the I.V. that I didn’t even realize was there. I don’t mind needles that go in then come out, but I.V.s? What the Hell?
“Hey Doc, is there any way you can knock me out before you stab me?”
“…Well,” he continues to prepare my arm, “perception is half of everything, and ‘stab’ isn’t a word you should be think of right now.”
That’s a doctorly way avoid the question. But before I knew it I could feel the needle in my arm. The stuff in the I.V. started to flow through me and I could feel it moving up my arm, through my veins. That was… uncomfortable. Interesting, but uncomfortable. He got up and left immediately.
You know how you pee before you go on a road trip? Well just so you remember, surgery is in the same boat. To go pee the electrodes had to be unhooked from the machine and I had to carry the I.V. into the bathroom with me. When I got back into my seat the nurses put that almost mask thing and stuck it in my nose.
“Should I be getting sleepy now?”
“No, the mask is just oxygen and that’s just sugar water” she said, pointing to the I.V.
“Are you serious?”
“No, that’s sugar water flowing the IV, candy-gas pumping into your mask, and those electrodes are just measuring your ‘happy’ levels.”
Ok maybe I made up the last part but, what is she kidding me? Why the Hell would they put sugar-water in my veins? After I asked she explained that, she made a bet with another nurse to see how long it would take before anybody noticed. Luck of the draw, I guess.
After the doctor put the real drug in my I.V. with the sugar water, the room started spinning. More specifically the ceiling.When I woke up, they were still putting in the stitches, I think, but I couldn’t feel it anyway, they were just hunched over my face.
The first thing out of my father’s mouth when I got home was “Hey, you look just like Marlon Brando.” Is it really that obvious? “How do you feel?”
“…Jiggle... puff…”
I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror and sure enough the Don was staring back at me. Slept for 6 or so hours. Then my mom made me soup, because mom’s do that stuff for sick kids. Then she went with my Dad to the art walk, because mom’s leave the house when their kids are sick. Now I'm here with guaze in my mouth and holes in jaw. I finished my soup. Like I said, wouldn’t mind more.