Hated

[capzlady]

Why is he being so cruel! Hes broken me doesn't he see that? I'm crying all throughout the day. He has torn out the fragments of my heart and scattered them all over the place. The parks, his mothers, my car, his truck, his home, and left me nothing. I still feel but it's all pain now and hurt I thought I could turn it off like all the other times but this is deeper than before. I actually love him!!!! I might be moving what will I do without him. Should I leave my husband but if I did that would he stay with me or would I still be alone? Dear God help me!!!!!!! I'm afraid to lose him...I dont want to be without him I dont want to live anymore I want it to end the pain the hurt the feeling of loss he thinks I'm strong but I'm not they all think I'm strong but I'm weak and I'm lonely inside not outside ppl see happy me loving me but they dont know I don't know why I feel like thisbut I dont want help I just want death!!!!! I'm screaming inside the anger of pain dwindling to just sadness and loneliness. Why can't I just let myself be loved. It's my fault for always choosing to run but I can't help it, I'm programmed to run!!!

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