My thoughts
I remember thinking what life would be like when I was 13. I never wanted to get married or have kids or any of that. I remember when I was 16. I still never wanted those things. I remember when I was walking down the aisle the thought crept back into my head what are you doing? It is hard to believe that this is my life. I had dreams to go to school be a pschologist, to help other people who had screwed up there life not be the screw up. I know some people would love to this life but not me. I wanted annd still want to have freedom. Freedom to do what ever I want, when ever I want to do it. I used to have a fire inside but I fear it is dying out slowly, water has been sloshed around it poured on it but it still burn bright as ever. My husband wants another child but I don't. He has kept school out of reach for me kept doing what he felt was right but if asked he will say I had every opportunity but it is a lie. He wants me to be a still and quiet house wife. I hate it and I am afraid that he is winning. I hate being pregnant and I don't like kids. I love my son don't get me wrong but if I could go back I would do it differently.