100 Facts Survey... but only because I'm bored.
100 stupidly long and probably boring facts about Captain Will.
Cut down because Burn is a pussy.
1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING? Nay. I'm a guy.
2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP? Almost three years and counting.
3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED? Guild Wars Factions.
4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE? Who hasn't?
5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT? The Captain does not "work out."
6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON? Bandannas, food, toys, piratey things.
7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE? Chicken Salad Sammich on toast with a side of onion rings and sweet tea.
8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? Legs. What can I say? You build from the foundation up!
9. ONE FAVORITE SONG? You Can't Always Get What You Want- The Rolling Stones
10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE? Flo-Town, Alabama. Yes, I know that song by Lynard Skynard. No, I do not like it. The only time I've been to a Skynard concert was when I ran spot at the Alabama Music Hall of Fame. No, it was not worth the measly paycheck.
11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED? Which one? I have four.
12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER: T-Mobile.
13. FAVORITE MALL STORE: Spencer's. But I hate the mall.
14. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD: Technical Staff at Norton Auditorium, at the University of North Alabama. Two years of service, and I want to go back so bad I can taste it. T'was real pirate work, yarr!
15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?: I own many dice. I even have a liar's dice set!
16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?: Only when drunk, and only people I'm friend's with. Usually by the time I make the calls, I am so drunk that I just say "ARR! PRANK CALL! ARR!" and hang up.
17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED?: My friends Misty and Jason's wedding. Well, if presiding counts. Yarr, ye can be a pirate and clergy! Learn some history, ye lump!
18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY?: Figi. Hell, I'd even buy him a coke. And maybe some rum, if he was nice.
19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND?: 20 minutes ago.
20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT?: Sonic. I likes to drive in, for a change. Yarr.
21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD?: "The hardest part of quitting smoking is the first three days. If you make it through those, you're home free." T'is bullshit, says I! 6 months later, and it's just getting tolerable!
22. MULTIPLE EARRINGS OR SINGLE HOLES?: Four holes, but I only keep two occupied. The two on my right ear just didn't heal, and I liked the old lefty look anyways.
23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS? At my apartment, when I cook a big meal for all of them.
24. CAN YOU COOK?: Better than anyone I know.
25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?: 95 white Ford Tard-us. I hate it.
26. BEST KISSER?: Why do you think I'm captain? Har har!
27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: Don't remember. And that's not a bullshit macho thing, either. I do cry, but I just don't remember the last time.
28. MOST DISLIKED FOODS?: Cauliflower.
29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF? I'm blessed with a lot of good friends, and they all take me as I am. In my view, that makes me out to be a pretty good guy.
30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF?: Yarr, the balding.
31. ARBY'S OR BURGER KING?: ARRRby's!
32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB: Bout 15 hours running a show in Norton.
33. FAVORITE MOVIE?: I have a lot of favorite movies, which are almost all favorites for completely different reasons. This is a bad question.
34. CAN YOU SING?: I can, but it's illegal in 46 states.
35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED?: Lynard Skynard. See above.
36. LAST KISS?: Nona.
37. LAST MOVIE RENTED?: Pan's Labyrinth... bleah!
38. ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT?: My Leatherman.
39. FAVORITE VACATION SPOT?: Water. Preferably salty.
40. DO YOU LOVE "PAGE 2" AT GOOFYAUCTIONS.COM?: Haven't been, don't care to go.
41. ARE YOU FANS OF RICE CAKES?: I hate them.
42. ESPN OR ESPN2?: Captain Will doesn't do sports. Except rugby. European rugby. We play it like pansies.
43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?: Desktop.
44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN?: Carlos Mencia
45. DO YOU SMOKE? Not anymore. Ah tobacco, how I miss you!
46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES? Nekkid.
47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT? Nona.
48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?: Only if you're both emotionally retarded or desperate as hell.
49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE? Once. And he shall rule the day!
50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST? French Toast.
51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?: Black, just like Janeway. What?!?! I liked Voyager! Fuck you!
52. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? Over easy with a side of pig.
Why the rest is struck through is beyond me. It will not let me repair it, and I just don't care that much anyway.
53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?: I believe more in astronomy.
54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?: Nona.
55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?: Someone I didn't know that didn't leave a message. I hate that!
56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECEIVED? Uh... censored.
57. CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF WITH NIPPLE RINGS?: No, I like my nipples free of metal.
58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?: Usually one, sometimes two.
59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?: *sigh* Whitey T's, denim shorts, black leather belt, leatherman wave in its case, a t-shirt, open Hawaiian shirt, wristwatch, leather wristband, 1 gold ring, 1 silver ring, pirate bandana, 1 diamond earring, 1 gold hoop earring, and me glasses.
60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC?: Bugger off.
61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB&J? Strawberry.
62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?: Badly, yes.
63. CAN YOU SWIM?: I'm a bloody pirate?!? What do you think I do when I fall off a boat, drown?!?! What a jackass!
64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?: Mint chocolate chip.
65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS?: Aye, I gets lost a lot.
66. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF?: I like sex. A lot!
67. ARE YOU A FAN OF TATTOOS?: I have two of them, so yes, I believe that is a fair assessment.
68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?: Yep, hosted a few in my time, too.
69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?: Summer. Captain Wills like summer.
70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID?: Two hours ago.
71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING?: I've been up since the crack o' noon, just like always.
72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?: Global warming is slowly destroying it.
73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?: T'was the winter of 2002, back when I were drivin' the Ghetto Sled. Aye, I miss me Sled.
74. JESUS?: He's the Man. Or at least the Son of Man... heh heh... little joke there. Aw fuck off!
75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?: Unnamed Turtle.
76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?: I believe that these newfangled Johnny Depp inspired pirates are overrated. Some of us were pirates before it became cool. Not that I have anything against the Pirates movies. 1 and 3 were great! I'm just more of a traditionalist, is all.
77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND?: Probably getting pissed.
78. BIRTHDATE?: February the 20th, precisely four days before Master Burn.
79. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE?: The best pirate, ever. Maybe a chef, too.
80. ARE YOU IN LOVE?: Abso-floggin-lutely.
81. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL? Aye, when the sidewalk monster tried to have me right hand. But I got that bastard!
82. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW? I wish I could see someone nekkid right now, har har!
83. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING? Two rings, and two earrings! Pay attention!
84. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY? Get me some titt.... uh, spend time with my Nona. Yeah, I know, she's going to hit me for that one.
85. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?: No, I find the laptop usually breaks when I get on it.
86. CEREAL OR POP-TARTS?: Depends on the type of cereal and the flavor of the tart. Or strumpet, I ain't picky about me wenches! Har har!
87. ARE YOU SMILING?: Yep.
88. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?: Not in the touristy sense.
89. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?: Always. It doesn't go away, you just get used to it.
90. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE: Somewhere bright, sunny, surrounded by water, with friendly people and a pub where they serve Guinness on tap and the patrons know me by name.
91. DO YOU LIKE BEAN BURRITOS?: Aye, especially Burrito Supremes at Taco Bell. Yarr, Cappin likes Cinnamon Twists too!
92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?: Thank God, no. You couldn't pay me to do that shit again.
93. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?: No, I'm happy with me wench.
94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME? Captain Will. Most people call me that, and they seem to think it suits me. So do I, as it were. You did mean favorite name I go by, right? Well fuck you if you did. Should specify.
95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?: I gots a blue electric-y one, and a flower Hawaiian print one.
96. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST? It may not this year. I'm thinking of working.
97. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?: Aye, a mini-one. Going to Savannah at the end of this month.
98. ANY PLANS FOR A NEW PIERCING THIS YEAR?: Not as such, but I would like a new tattoo. Those bastards are addictive as hell.
99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER: Consumed her in the womb. Well not really. But then who knows? Ultra-sound weren't in common use back then.
100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?: Aye, that's where the apartment is.
Cut down because Burn is a pussy.
1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING? Nay. I'm a guy.
2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP? Almost three years and counting.
3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED? Guild Wars Factions.
4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE? Who hasn't?
5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT? The Captain does not "work out."
6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON? Bandannas, food, toys, piratey things.
7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE? Chicken Salad Sammich on toast with a side of onion rings and sweet tea.
8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? Legs. What can I say? You build from the foundation up!
9. ONE FAVORITE SONG? You Can't Always Get What You Want- The Rolling Stones
10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE? Flo-Town, Alabama. Yes, I know that song by Lynard Skynard. No, I do not like it. The only time I've been to a Skynard concert was when I ran spot at the Alabama Music Hall of Fame. No, it was not worth the measly paycheck.
11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED? Which one? I have four.
12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER: T-Mobile.
13. FAVORITE MALL STORE: Spencer's. But I hate the mall.
14. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD: Technical Staff at Norton Auditorium, at the University of North Alabama. Two years of service, and I want to go back so bad I can taste it. T'was real pirate work, yarr!
15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?: I own many dice. I even have a liar's dice set!
16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?: Only when drunk, and only people I'm friend's with. Usually by the time I make the calls, I am so drunk that I just say "ARR! PRANK CALL! ARR!" and hang up.
17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED?: My friends Misty and Jason's wedding. Well, if presiding counts. Yarr, ye can be a pirate and clergy! Learn some history, ye lump!
18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY?: Figi. Hell, I'd even buy him a coke. And maybe some rum, if he was nice.
19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND?: 20 minutes ago.
20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT?: Sonic. I likes to drive in, for a change. Yarr.
21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD?: "The hardest part of quitting smoking is the first three days. If you make it through those, you're home free." T'is bullshit, says I! 6 months later, and it's just getting tolerable!
22. MULTIPLE EARRINGS OR SINGLE HOLES?: Four holes, but I only keep two occupied. The two on my right ear just didn't heal, and I liked the old lefty look anyways.
23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS? At my apartment, when I cook a big meal for all of them.
24. CAN YOU COOK?: Better than anyone I know.
25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?: 95 white Ford Tard-us. I hate it.
26. BEST KISSER?: Why do you think I'm captain? Har har!
27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: Don't remember. And that's not a bullshit macho thing, either. I do cry, but I just don't remember the last time.
28. MOST DISLIKED FOODS?: Cauliflower.
29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF? I'm blessed with a lot of good friends, and they all take me as I am. In my view, that makes me out to be a pretty good guy.
30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF?: Yarr, the balding.
31. ARBY'S OR BURGER KING?: ARRRby's!
32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB: Bout 15 hours running a show in Norton.
33. FAVORITE MOVIE?: I have a lot of favorite movies, which are almost all favorites for completely different reasons. This is a bad question.
34. CAN YOU SING?: I can, but it's illegal in 46 states.
35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED?: Lynard Skynard. See above.
36. LAST KISS?: Nona.
37. LAST MOVIE RENTED?: Pan's Labyrinth... bleah!
38. ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT?: My Leatherman.
39. FAVORITE VACATION SPOT?: Water. Preferably salty.
40. DO YOU LOVE "PAGE 2" AT GOOFYAUCTIONS.COM?: Haven't been, don't care to go.
41. ARE YOU FANS OF RICE CAKES?: I hate them.
42. ESPN OR ESPN2?: Captain Will doesn't do sports. Except rugby. European rugby. We play it like pansies.
43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?: Desktop.
44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN?: Carlos Mencia
45. DO YOU SMOKE? Not anymore. Ah tobacco, how I miss you!
46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES? Nekkid.
47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT? Nona.
48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?: Only if you're both emotionally retarded or desperate as hell.
49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE? Once. And he shall rule the day!
50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST? French Toast.
51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?: Black, just like Janeway. What?!?! I liked Voyager! Fuck you!
52. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? Over easy with a side of pig.
Why the rest is struck through is beyond me. It will not let me repair it, and I just don't care that much anyway.
53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?: I believe more in astronomy.
54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?: Nona.
55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?: Someone I didn't know that didn't leave a message. I hate that!
56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECEIVED? Uh... censored.
57. CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF WITH NIPPLE RINGS?: No, I like my nipples free of metal.
58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?: Usually one, sometimes two.
59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?: *sigh* Whitey T's, denim shorts, black leather belt, leatherman wave in its case, a t-shirt, open Hawaiian shirt, wristwatch, leather wristband, 1 gold ring, 1 silver ring, pirate bandana, 1 diamond earring, 1 gold hoop earring, and me glasses.
60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC?: Bugger off.
61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB&J? Strawberry.
62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?: Badly, yes.
63. CAN YOU SWIM?: I'm a bloody pirate?!? What do you think I do when I fall off a boat, drown?!?! What a jackass!
64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?: Mint chocolate chip.
65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS?: Aye, I gets lost a lot.
66. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF?: I like sex. A lot!
67. ARE YOU A FAN OF TATTOOS?: I have two of them, so yes, I believe that is a fair assessment.
68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?: Yep, hosted a few in my time, too.
69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?: Summer. Captain Wills like summer.
70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID?: Two hours ago.
71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING?: I've been up since the crack o' noon, just like always.
72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?: Global warming is slowly destroying it.
73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?: T'was the winter of 2002, back when I were drivin' the Ghetto Sled. Aye, I miss me Sled.
74. JESUS?: He's the Man. Or at least the Son of Man... heh heh... little joke there. Aw fuck off!
75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?: Unnamed Turtle.
76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?: I believe that these newfangled Johnny Depp inspired pirates are overrated. Some of us were pirates before it became cool. Not that I have anything against the Pirates movies. 1 and 3 were great! I'm just more of a traditionalist, is all.
77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND?: Probably getting pissed.
78. BIRTHDATE?: February the 20th, precisely four days before Master Burn.
79. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE?: The best pirate, ever. Maybe a chef, too.
80. ARE YOU IN LOVE?: Abso-floggin-lutely.
81. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL? Aye, when the sidewalk monster tried to have me right hand. But I got that bastard!
82. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW? I wish I could see someone nekkid right now, har har!
83. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING? Two rings, and two earrings! Pay attention!
84. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY? Get me some titt.... uh, spend time with my Nona. Yeah, I know, she's going to hit me for that one.
85. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?: No, I find the laptop usually breaks when I get on it.
86. CEREAL OR POP-TARTS?: Depends on the type of cereal and the flavor of the tart. Or strumpet, I ain't picky about me wenches! Har har!
87. ARE YOU SMILING?: Yep.
88. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?: Not in the touristy sense.
89. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?: Always. It doesn't go away, you just get used to it.
90. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE: Somewhere bright, sunny, surrounded by water, with friendly people and a pub where they serve Guinness on tap and the patrons know me by name.
91. DO YOU LIKE BEAN BURRITOS?: Aye, especially Burrito Supremes at Taco Bell. Yarr, Cappin likes Cinnamon Twists too!
92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?: Thank God, no. You couldn't pay me to do that shit again.
93. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?: No, I'm happy with me wench.
94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME? Captain Will. Most people call me that, and they seem to think it suits me. So do I, as it were. You did mean favorite name I go by, right? Well fuck you if you did. Should specify.
95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?: I gots a blue electric-y one, and a flower Hawaiian print one.
96. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST? It may not this year. I'm thinking of working.
97. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?: Aye, a mini-one. Going to Savannah at the end of this month.
98. ANY PLANS FOR A NEW PIERCING THIS YEAR?: Not as such, but I would like a new tattoo. Those bastards are addictive as hell.
99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER: Consumed her in the womb. Well not really. But then who knows? Ultra-sound weren't in common use back then.
100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?: Aye, that's where the apartment is.