You're my refuge and my hope

[capturetherain]

I’ve attempted to come and update this journal several times in the past week but I keep getting distracted. It’s been crazy busy with school, work and trying to find a balance with friends. I’m healing a little more as each day passes and I’m happy here. It’s a happiness I haven’t experienced in a while, a kind of happiness that radiates and other people notice. A lot of people have said I don’t seem so tense anymore and that I have truly let go of the things I can’t control. I’ve learned a huge lesson in the past few months, and even though it’s been hell I finally see the brighter side of things. I have an amazing support system up here, one I could never have imagined and I am so thankful every day for it. I can honestly say that without the friends I have up here I would have had a complete and total break down by now but, instead I have become stronger. Even though things have changed more than I could have ever imagined for the first time in my life I am accepting those changes without totally freaking out like in the past. Life is definitely a crazy ride with unexpected twists and turns just when you think things are figured out, and I’m starting to welcome those twists, at least the good ones, because that’s what makes life so amazing, the unknown, the excitement, the times you can look back on and know you pulled through hell to get to a better place. I’m in a better place, my mind is clear and once again I have a direction and goal to work towards. I have faith again, in myself and in other people. Looking back now on what has happen in the past few months has really made me realize how much strength I have, I never thought I could get through it, I never imagined that everything I knew would fall apart and that I could actually rise above it all and come out of it a stronger person. Even though I have a hell of a lot more to say I’m going to save it for another entry so this one doesn’t get too long. Give me a heads up and let me know what you all think. :)

even though this is a religious song i still think is fits amazingly with the way i feel
When I wander through the desert
And I'm longing for my home
All my dreams have gone astray
When I'm stranded in the valley
And I'm tired and all alone
It seems like I've lost my way

I go running to Your mountain
Where your mercy sets me free

[chorus]
You are my strong tower
Shelter over me
Beautiful and mighty
Everlasting King
You are my strong tower
Fortress when I'm weak
Your name is true and holy
And Your face is all I seek