My changing world
I haven’t written in here for a few months. I suppose it was too hard for me to write my thoughts. It’s been a rough summer to say the least. Sam and I broke up about a week ago. It’s the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. We had been fighting all the time, taking each other for granted and just not treating each other as we once had. I didn’t want to admit that we needed to part and that is the main reason I have not been able to write, because it was just too hard and I couldn’t find the words nor face them in writing. We both need time to grow up, to mature and to find ourselves again. We aren’t the same people we once were in high school and that’s ok because in order to become better people we need to let go for however long and just focus on ourselves. I don’t know what the future holds for us but I know it was the fight choice. I feel as if a weight has been lifted off of me, like I’m taking a path towards discovering a new me, a better me and most importantly a stronger me. I can write this entry now with a smile only because I have faced an extremely difficult acceptance. Sometimes its ok, even better, to take a step back and focus on ourselves. For so long I had been hoping things would just change, that everything would suddenly get better but I have learned to have faith and that change can only happen when you are ready. I have found a peace I had not experienced for a long time. I’m looking towards the future with an open mind for the first time in my life and without constantly looking back on the past. I used to spend so much time dwelling on the past or looking too far into the future for happiness but now I’m letting go and I’m living for today because that’s all we really have is today. I'm finally healing.
"My life is not what I thought
I'm not where I planned to be
Though something's gone
There's nothing wrong with my changing world
Though something's gone
There's nothing wrong with my changing world
I need to let go of my destiny
I need to trust in things unseen
I believe in having faith
Though I yield my control
I forgot how quickly things can change
Now my vision can not be the same
I'm embracing all of my fears
I am watching them turn to delight
The very fears which
Were gripping my mind
Are now the hands shaping and sculpting my dreams"
"My life is not what I thought
I'm not where I planned to be
Though something's gone
There's nothing wrong with my changing world
Though something's gone
There's nothing wrong with my changing world
I need to let go of my destiny
I need to trust in things unseen
I believe in having faith
Though I yield my control
I forgot how quickly things can change
Now my vision can not be the same
I'm embracing all of my fears
I am watching them turn to delight
The very fears which
Were gripping my mind
Are now the hands shaping and sculpting my dreams"