My journal is becoming a journal of rants
Today I was accused of writing for “fake” reasons and I’m rather insulted, I admit. I don’t think I’ve actually been accused of something so revolting in quite a while.
I’m a lot of things and have been a lot of things in name calling or otherwise. I’m a hardass. I’m a mother hen, I’m a bastard by definition. I’m an emotional bitch. I’m not emotional enough. I’m too violent. I’ve been too fat. I’ve been too skinny. I’ve been a second choice and not a choice at all. I’ve been too assertive. Not assertive enough. I’m a verbal slut. I’m too coy. I’m too manly…
There have been others. Some I don’t consider insults, like the assumption that I’m a lesbian, the disgust that I’ve gotten for not being interested in sex so much… that stuffs normal.
The conversation in question started with Mirror Mask(Good Movie. Everyone should watch) and moved to Evangelion. Now, for those of you who don’t know I have no interest in Evangelion. I watched the first few epi, I read part of the manga, I know the basic plot, the basic characters. It doesn’t interest me at all. If a show or book can’t draw me in within the first couple of chapters/episodes I just can’t get into it and I’m not going to waste more time on it. Nothing personal to the fans- just not my thing.
It has a fantastic ending? The characters suddenly become well rounded? Then give me something in the beginning that shows that, that draws my attention. If you can’t then to me you’ve failed. I’m not going to waste my time on a fantastic ending unless there is a good reason. What I’ve seen is a lot of hype for this story I simply don’t care about.
For an example about writing and how to sell your story I explained that if I wrote a story with flat characters and worked to make people hate, as proposed by the other person in this conversation, then it’s highly unlikely it would sell and if it did it'd end up in the used book store or trashcan more likely then not. In short, with writing, if you are writing for a reason, you want your message heard by someone, it needs to be read and if you don’t write it well with a draw it won’t be.
For this, of course, I was dubbed a “fake” writer.
A “fake writer”, to me, is one who doesn’t bother to make well rounded characters. They don’t bother to improve their writing and just assume that their “fantabulous” ideas will allow their thoughts and desires to be propelled forward and loved by readers. Of course, I must admit, that even they are likely not true “fake writers” as they at least write. A true, beyond a doubt, “fake writer” would be one who proclaims their writing prowess but never picks up a pen.
That is completely idiotic.
First to do a “correct” story (this is all relative, of course) you must have a round character. If you have a round character even if what they are doing is despicable, there is still believability in it and there may be someone out there who enjoys it. To sell a story you must have a draw, to tell a tale, to try to teach someone something... you can't just give it out in a bland way without having some of it lose its draw and affect. If the character sucks, you have to have a good setting or plot but even then it might not be worth it.
However, as I’m writing this I suppose with another definition of a “fake writer” I could be considered one. I enjoy challenges. I will write something that I am not particularly interested in to get practice in one area or another and I’ll write things for people or for cash. That is a “fake”, I suppose, but likewise I write my one things where I have a goal and a desire which makes me far from a “fake writer”. Perhaps I’m half and half.
Still, I find the idea that someone called me that a great insult.
Second, to explain a little more, though its likely not important or even something I should in this rant, I started truly writing when I was seven in first grade. I decided I liked it because through writing I could affect others moods and make them feel things. This may sound like a strange or “bad” way to get into something but that’s the way I did. Writing a short funny story and having my classmates laugh, reacting to it, was amazing and addicting. You could make people feel things they hadn’t before, you caused it, you could teach them things for a moment even if they forgot it later.
Once I reached 4th/5th grade I decided I wanted to write but there was no way I could support myself on it. My goal was to own a bookstore, something I’ve given up on now, and write and get published but unlike a fair amount of people I just wanted one thing: The idea, delusion I suppose, that someone out there would take one of my books someday and keep it. They’d reread it, enjoy it, and remember the time they first read it and how it affected them. Perhaps they learned something from it but maybe it was just a comfort, a little bit of joy to slide through a familiar book that was loved.
I write because I have something say but I want it to be done as well as I possibly can. I want my characters to live as much as words on the page can. I want people to feel.
That is why I write. Its not "fake" or fabricated or anything other then what I wanted, why I started, and what I still want.
Still, perhaps, maybe, I fit your definition of a “fake” writer because my characters are just as important as the reasons and lessons I want to infuse in the story but don’t insult me without explaining and giving examples how my writing is that or how my ideas of writing are that. Likewise, maybe I’m a “fake” for writing for people or in response to challenges but if you haven’t read any of those don’t presume.
With Wings Upon an Alter was probably my most bland, horribly writing thing ever so, if you must, please refrain from using that. I already know and am disgusted. Ironically, however, the person insulting me hasn't read most of my things. So, I suppose, this challenge goes out to people who know my writing and, though I would perfer to have that one ommited it is not something that has to be done.
Past that, you who have decided this I do hope you bite your tong for younger writers and ones who would simply be harmed by your words. I am angry, yes, insulted, but its not going to change anything. If I ever have a writing friend who deals with you insulted in such a way you will hardly be a friend much longer. It might seem harsh but you need to watch what you say and you don’t.