and who i am in my dreams is not me.

[capturedintime]

it starts with a cigarette
you think you could moderate it
then theres a tidal wave of stress
don't think it could go avoided

a common collapse its a mess
come clean but its not related
to the feeling of addiction
when you've got to start quitting it

i just want one more swig of it
and inhale another cigarette
i want to stop wanting them
i want to stop wanting them

on tv theres a man explaining the bible
and i try to understand
but its been twisted by time and changed too much
through mistakes in the translations
and it occurs to me
its not how literal its taken
rather how literate we think God would be
and i'm sure if he ever spoke it wasn't in english
possibly not even a language that even exists anymore

i just want to understand it
perhaps its not complicated
maybe its just a message
of guidelines on etiquette

i just want one more swing with it
to ease up my spiraling head
if thoughts stop coming i might have a chance
but they wont stop and i have access to medicine
but i want to stop wanting it

what would my family think
if they were reading this
its why i keep it hidden
to avoid being force fed
i could use a little music