(no subject)
Title: She's My Wife (Secret Santa Fic for pensco_927)
Author: captstarbuck
Beta/Editor: Stacy d'Lacy (best beta on the planet)
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: T
Secret Santa Prompt: Callie and Arizona have reunited, but are dating slowly (still living apart while they get to know who they are now), and no one knows. What happens to their relationship when their friends at the hospital decide to get involved to make them move on with their lives? Rating: Author's preference
Disclaimers: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
AN for pensco_927: I lied and you know what I'm talking about. LOL
Chapter 3
After Callie had left, Arizona had gone straight to Alex's house to shower and change. Even though she had been living with Jo and Alex for months, she still couldn't call it 'home'. It was just… where she slept. Home would always be where her heart was; home would always be with Callie, even if she was destined to live alone for the rest of her life.
Living with the younger couple hadn't been too bad. Because of her insane hours with Herman's fellowship, Arizona was only there infrequently, spending more time at the hospital than anywhere else. The three of them rarely had the same hours, so Arizona often had the house to herself. She had mixed feelings on being alone in the large house. She enjoyed the time to herself, but she was also starved for companionship. A lunch here and there with April was about the only company she had, other than her dinners and 'playdates' with Callie and Sofia. She lived for the times when she had Sofia over. It wasn't the greatest situation, but having her daughter to herself those few evenings or on those rare days when she had a day off with Sofia was everything to her.
She dressed casually, jeans and a blue sweater, for her dinner with Callie and Sofia. She checked her outfit and her hair one more time in the mirror before leaving. She tried not to overthink what she was going to say to Callie. At the very least she would have to apologize. She'd crossed a line and she was determined to let Callie know it wouldn't happen again, that she wouldn't jeopardize their new friendship.
The blonde had hardly made it onto the front walk before the front door was flung open. Sofia stood in the doorway with a wide smile on her face. Callie was behind her, a matching smile adorning the Latina's face.
"Mama!" Sofia said as she bolted down the walk to Arizona.
"Hi, Sofia," Arizona said, sweeping Sofia up into arms. "I missed you so much," the blonde said as she peppered her daughter's face with small kisses.
"I miss you, too, Mama," the young girl said as she giggled from Arizona's attention.
"Hey," Arizona greeted Callie as the blonde carried Sofia into the house.
There wasn't much time for playing or talking as Arizona had been a few minutes late and dinner was ready. Even though they'd both sworn to themselves that they wouldn't avoid one another, the two women let their daughter dominate the talk at the dinner table. Happy to see her Mama, Sofia had forgotten her disappointment over Arizona missing their trip to the movies the previous Saturday. She animatedly babbled through the meal, telling her Mama all about the latest Disney movie she'd seen. It had been a big deal for the girl to go to the movie theater instead of watching a movie at home, and Arizona was sorry she'd missed it.
Somehow during dinner, Sofia had seemingly got more spaghetti sauce on her than in her. Arizona helped Sofia down from her booster seat while Callie began to clear the table.
"You, missy, need a bath," Arizona said to Sofia as she tried to wipe her daughter's face off.
"Now?" Sofia asked.
"Yes, now. I think you even have spaghetti in your ears," Arizona teased.
Sofia giggled and ran down to the hall to the bathroom. The little girl hadn't hit the stage where she fussed over having to take a bath, and Arizona hoped her daughter never did.
"I'll clean up if you want to give Sofia her bath," Callie offered.
"Oh, no, Callie, I'll take care of the dishes. You go ahead."
"I insist. You missed bath time on Saturday."
"If you're sure…"
"Go," Callie said as she put her hands on Arizona's hips to urge her down the hallway. She ignored the shudder she felt when she touched the blonde, and she ignored the tingling in her own hands.
"Mama!" Sofia called out impatiently. "I'm waiting!"
"She is so your daughter," Arizona laughed as she followed her daughter's voice.
As the tub filled, Sofia rooted around in the small box of toys that she had for the bathtub. She held several plastic soldiers in one hand and a boat in the other while Arizona undressed her. The blonde smiled as she knew the toys had been a gift from her father; she'd had similar toys growing up.
She lifted Sofia up and placed her in the warm water.
"Let me wash you before you play, Sofia," she said as she poured soap onto a washcloth.
"Hurry, Mama. I want to play," Sofia said. The little girl made motorboat noises as she pushed the small boat around the water.
It didn't take long for Arizona to wash the errant spaghetti sauce from her daughter's arms and face. She quickly washed Sofia's dark hair, spiking it up with the shampoo first before she rinsed it. Sofia loved it when her Mama made shapes from the lather.
While she got Sofia's towel ready, the young girl carefully placed the small soldiers along the edge of the tub.
"It's a 'nami wave. Watch out!" Sofia said as she pulled her arm back.
Seeing what Sofia was about to do, Arizona called out, "Sofia, no!"
She was too late. Her daughter scooped up an armful of water toward the soldiers. The water hit the edge of the tub, knocking the soldiers to the floor and sending the splash into Arizona.
Callie had finished loading the dishes into the dishwasher and had wiped down the kitchen. She'd been walking toward the bathroom when she'd heard Arizona's "No!" She quickly broke into a run, reaching the bathroom as the water hit Arizona. She hid her grin behind her hand as she saw the shocked look on the blonde's face.
"Sofia Robbin!" Arizona scolded.
"I'm so sorry, Arizona," Callie apologized as she handed the dripping wet blonde a towel. "Sofia's started playing tsunami in the tub."
"Callie, I'm soaking wet," Arizona complained as she gratefully took the towel. "A little warning would've been nice."
"I'm sorry, Mama," Sofia apologized with a tearful, contrite pout. "I dint mean to get you wet."
"It's okay, Sofia," Arizona said soothingly. "I'm not angry. I'm just… surprised." She leaned over and removed her daughter from the tub. "I didn't know I'd needed to wear my swimsuit tonight," she teased as she bopped Sofia's nose.
Sofia giggled at the thought of her mother wearing a swimsuit to take a bath. She threw her arms around Arizona's neck as the blonde wrapped the towel around Sofia.
"Let's get you dried off and into your jammies," Arizona said, setting Sofia back down.
"I'll, uh, I'll go get you a dry shirt," Callie stuttered, averting her eyes from the wet shirt that now clung to Arizona's body. She didn't want to think about the feelings that had been stirred up by that sight.
"Thank you, Callie."
While Arizona changed her shirt in the bathroom, Callie tucked Sofia into bed. The Latina stayed in the room while Arizona curled up on Sofia's bed and read her a story. Callie loved watching the two of them together. Sofia always held onto the bottom of Arizona's shirt and stared at her Mama until her eyes started to droop. Callie could never understand why Arizona had ever thought she couldn't be a mother. The blonde was a natural, and it was obvious how much she loved her daughter.
"She's out," Arizona whispered as she gently loosened Sofia's grip on the oversized t-shirt Arizona wore. She carefully got off the bed without disturbing her daughter.
"You're so good with her," Callie blurted.
"She's my daughter," Arizona said, blushing. "She's a wonderful little girl."
"And you're a wonderful mother," Callie continued with another heartfelt compliment, causing Arizona cheeks to further redden.
"No, Callie. You are. You've done a terrific job with her in my… my absence."
"Arizona…"
"So, it's getting late. I should probably head out," the blonde said, stepping into the living room. "Is it okay if I bring your shirt to work tomorrow? Mine isn't dry yet," Arizona rambled.
"Arizona, don't leave yet."
"Callie, I think it would be best if I did."
"No, stay and have a glass of wine with me. We need to talk."
Arizona knew this was it. She was finally going to have to face Callie. "Okay," she said quietly.
"White or red?" Callie asked as she went into the kitchen.
"White, please," Arizona answered, following Callie into the room. She waited in silence as Callie took out the glasses and two bottles of wine, white for her and red for herself. Arizona couldn't help but dread the talk that was coming. Her parents' voices echoed in her mind, her father's 'all actions have consequences' followed by her mother's slightly more gentle 'the time always comes when you have to pay the piper'. The blonde mentally told her parents to shut up.
Glasses in hand, the two women returned to the living room. Arizona shut her eyes and let herself enjoy one last civil, friendly moment before it would all come screeching to a halt.
"Can I just say something first, Callie?" Arizona bravely asked.
"If it's about last week, then no," Callie replied, sitting down beside Arizona on the sofa. "I need to talk first. I need to tell you something."
Arizona took a big gulp of wine from her glass before turning to face the other woman. "So? What did you want to tell me?"
"So, I've been thinking a lot since last week, when you…"
"When I kissed you," Arizona finished the sentence. "And I'm really sorry about that, Callie. I don't know -"
"Stop," Callie said, cutting the blonde off. "Let me finish, okay?"
Arizona nodded in defeat. That stupid, stupid kiss was going to be the end of them. She was positive. She waited for Callie to gather her thoughts.
"So?" she asked after Callie remained silent.
"I think it's time we started dating again," Callie blurted.
Arizona felt her stomach drop. She expected maybe a little anger from Callie, maybe even more than a little. This… this was the worst thing she could hear.
"What? I don't understand, Callie. Are you dating… do you want to date someone now? I'm… I don't want to date anyone right now… I'm not ready for that," she sputtered.
Callie watched Arizona's face turn from a look of dread to outright devastation. She realized that although she understood what she was saying and how she felt, Arizona had no idea. "Wait, no, that's not what I mean," she tried to explain.
"I get that you're probably ready to move on, and I appreciate you giving me a heads up," Arizona continued, not hearing Callie. "But honestly, Callie, I don't think I'm ready to hear it yet." The blonde set her glass down and started to get up from the sofa.
Callie immediately stuck her hand out and stopped the blonde. "Wait. I got this all wrong. You don't understand."
"What's there to understand? You're moving on. Good for you."
"Just stop, Arizona," Callie said. "Just listen to me, please."
Fighting the urge to flee, Arizona reluctantly sank back onto the sofa. She waited for Callie to explain. She was definitely surprised to see the brunette now looking a little nervous.
"I meant us," Callie said in a soft, almost timid voice.
"What do you mean?" Arizona asked. The devastation she'd felt only moments ago had now turned to utter confusion.
"These months apart, and then these past few weeks when we've gotten to spend time together… It's made me realize a few things."
"Like what?" Arizona asked nervously.
"We needed the time apart, Arizona. Things had gotten so bad between us. Really bad. So many things kept happening to us and we both handled everything so badly."
"Not both of us," Arizona said with a bit of self-hatred showing in her voice. "I broke us. It was my fault."
"No, I'm not going to let you accept all the blame. We both had a part in it." She took a long sip from her wine. "But that's not what I want to talk about. We've done nothing but talk about it all, and I'm done with talking about it," she said firmly and sincerely. "It's in the past."
Arizona looked down at the glass in her hands. She took a deep, calming breath, hoping that it would help.
"Arizona, I just wanted to tell you that I like you."
The blonde looked up and saw nothing but warmth in Callie's eyes and smile. What does that mean? She likes me as a friend? I don't understand what she's trying to tell me.
Callie saw the confusion and a little bit of fear in Arizona's eyes. She smiled again, trying to allay some of the fear that Arizona was clearly feeling.
"Look, I'm not the one who's good at giving speeches. We both know that." They shared a smile. "But I do know that I like Arizona Robbins, awesome mother to an amazing little girl, peds surgeon extraordinaire, and fetal badass." They both grinned at Callie's choice of words. "And I don't just like her. I love her. I'm still in love with her," Callie admitted.
Arizona's mouth dropped open, stunned by Callie's words. She was so shocked she couldn't speak.
"Arizona, I have missed you so much. This time apart made me really think about us. Yes, things were really bad, but having spent these few weeks together, let me know, made me think about how good things were, too." She took Arizona's hand, the first time they'd truly shared a touch since they'd split. "It's given me a chance to see how good it can be for us." Callie raised Arizona's hand and laid a gentle kiss on the pale skin. "I've really missed you, Arizona, and I want you back. I want us back." She took a deep breath. "I love you."
Arizona was still speechless, and Callie was beginning to wonder if she'd regret what she'd told the blonde. She'd been positive that Arizona had felt the same way, but given the blonde's silence, she was beginning to have her doubts.
Arizona's hand tightened around Callie's. "I love you, too," she said softly. She gazed into Callie's eyes for a moment before speaking again. "But what does this all mean for us?" she asked, unable to mask the anxiety that was creeping in once more.
"I think… I'd like to start dating again," Callie said. "Us, I mean," she added, remembering how Arizona had misunderstood her earlier declarations. "I want us to start dating, take it slowly. Not dinner with Sofia, or family days, though those are great and I still want them. I just want us, the adult hot, sexy women that we are, to date."
"Oh, I, uh, okay," Arizona said, her brain fighting past the words 'hot' and 'sexy' and all the images that it conjured up.
"And I think maybe sex should be off the table, at least for a little while," Callie said, even though it wasn't what she really wanted. "We've used sex in the past, as fantastic as it was, to avoid things, and I don't want to repeat that."
"Okay. That's probably a good idea." Arizona swallowed her disappointment. "But we can still kiss, right?" she asked with a mischievous smile.
"Oh, definitely," Callie said, moving closer to the blonde. "And maybe, after a few dates, I'll let you feel me up," she smirked.
"I'm looking forward to that," Arizona grinned as fell into Callie's embrace. She leaned in to kiss Callie, but the brunette stopped her. "What? Why did you stop me?"
"We haven't gone on a date yet," Callie said.
"So when are we going to?" Arizona asked impatiently.
"How's tomorrow night? You can meet me here after work. I'll get a sitter
Author: captstarbuck
Beta/Editor: Stacy d'Lacy (best beta on the planet)
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: T
Secret Santa Prompt: Callie and Arizona have reunited, but are dating slowly (still living apart while they get to know who they are now), and no one knows. What happens to their relationship when their friends at the hospital decide to get involved to make them move on with their lives? Rating: Author's preference
Disclaimers: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
AN for pensco_927: I lied and you know what I'm talking about. LOL
Chapter 3
After Callie had left, Arizona had gone straight to Alex's house to shower and change. Even though she had been living with Jo and Alex for months, she still couldn't call it 'home'. It was just… where she slept. Home would always be where her heart was; home would always be with Callie, even if she was destined to live alone for the rest of her life.
Living with the younger couple hadn't been too bad. Because of her insane hours with Herman's fellowship, Arizona was only there infrequently, spending more time at the hospital than anywhere else. The three of them rarely had the same hours, so Arizona often had the house to herself. She had mixed feelings on being alone in the large house. She enjoyed the time to herself, but she was also starved for companionship. A lunch here and there with April was about the only company she had, other than her dinners and 'playdates' with Callie and Sofia. She lived for the times when she had Sofia over. It wasn't the greatest situation, but having her daughter to herself those few evenings or on those rare days when she had a day off with Sofia was everything to her.
She dressed casually, jeans and a blue sweater, for her dinner with Callie and Sofia. She checked her outfit and her hair one more time in the mirror before leaving. She tried not to overthink what she was going to say to Callie. At the very least she would have to apologize. She'd crossed a line and she was determined to let Callie know it wouldn't happen again, that she wouldn't jeopardize their new friendship.
The blonde had hardly made it onto the front walk before the front door was flung open. Sofia stood in the doorway with a wide smile on her face. Callie was behind her, a matching smile adorning the Latina's face.
"Mama!" Sofia said as she bolted down the walk to Arizona.
"Hi, Sofia," Arizona said, sweeping Sofia up into arms. "I missed you so much," the blonde said as she peppered her daughter's face with small kisses.
"I miss you, too, Mama," the young girl said as she giggled from Arizona's attention.
"Hey," Arizona greeted Callie as the blonde carried Sofia into the house.
There wasn't much time for playing or talking as Arizona had been a few minutes late and dinner was ready. Even though they'd both sworn to themselves that they wouldn't avoid one another, the two women let their daughter dominate the talk at the dinner table. Happy to see her Mama, Sofia had forgotten her disappointment over Arizona missing their trip to the movies the previous Saturday. She animatedly babbled through the meal, telling her Mama all about the latest Disney movie she'd seen. It had been a big deal for the girl to go to the movie theater instead of watching a movie at home, and Arizona was sorry she'd missed it.
Somehow during dinner, Sofia had seemingly got more spaghetti sauce on her than in her. Arizona helped Sofia down from her booster seat while Callie began to clear the table.
"You, missy, need a bath," Arizona said to Sofia as she tried to wipe her daughter's face off.
"Now?" Sofia asked.
"Yes, now. I think you even have spaghetti in your ears," Arizona teased.
Sofia giggled and ran down to the hall to the bathroom. The little girl hadn't hit the stage where she fussed over having to take a bath, and Arizona hoped her daughter never did.
"I'll clean up if you want to give Sofia her bath," Callie offered.
"Oh, no, Callie, I'll take care of the dishes. You go ahead."
"I insist. You missed bath time on Saturday."
"If you're sure…"
"Go," Callie said as she put her hands on Arizona's hips to urge her down the hallway. She ignored the shudder she felt when she touched the blonde, and she ignored the tingling in her own hands.
"Mama!" Sofia called out impatiently. "I'm waiting!"
"She is so your daughter," Arizona laughed as she followed her daughter's voice.
As the tub filled, Sofia rooted around in the small box of toys that she had for the bathtub. She held several plastic soldiers in one hand and a boat in the other while Arizona undressed her. The blonde smiled as she knew the toys had been a gift from her father; she'd had similar toys growing up.
She lifted Sofia up and placed her in the warm water.
"Let me wash you before you play, Sofia," she said as she poured soap onto a washcloth.
"Hurry, Mama. I want to play," Sofia said. The little girl made motorboat noises as she pushed the small boat around the water.
It didn't take long for Arizona to wash the errant spaghetti sauce from her daughter's arms and face. She quickly washed Sofia's dark hair, spiking it up with the shampoo first before she rinsed it. Sofia loved it when her Mama made shapes from the lather.
While she got Sofia's towel ready, the young girl carefully placed the small soldiers along the edge of the tub.
"It's a 'nami wave. Watch out!" Sofia said as she pulled her arm back.
Seeing what Sofia was about to do, Arizona called out, "Sofia, no!"
She was too late. Her daughter scooped up an armful of water toward the soldiers. The water hit the edge of the tub, knocking the soldiers to the floor and sending the splash into Arizona.
Callie had finished loading the dishes into the dishwasher and had wiped down the kitchen. She'd been walking toward the bathroom when she'd heard Arizona's "No!" She quickly broke into a run, reaching the bathroom as the water hit Arizona. She hid her grin behind her hand as she saw the shocked look on the blonde's face.
"Sofia Robbin!" Arizona scolded.
"I'm so sorry, Arizona," Callie apologized as she handed the dripping wet blonde a towel. "Sofia's started playing tsunami in the tub."
"Callie, I'm soaking wet," Arizona complained as she gratefully took the towel. "A little warning would've been nice."
"I'm sorry, Mama," Sofia apologized with a tearful, contrite pout. "I dint mean to get you wet."
"It's okay, Sofia," Arizona said soothingly. "I'm not angry. I'm just… surprised." She leaned over and removed her daughter from the tub. "I didn't know I'd needed to wear my swimsuit tonight," she teased as she bopped Sofia's nose.
Sofia giggled at the thought of her mother wearing a swimsuit to take a bath. She threw her arms around Arizona's neck as the blonde wrapped the towel around Sofia.
"Let's get you dried off and into your jammies," Arizona said, setting Sofia back down.
"I'll, uh, I'll go get you a dry shirt," Callie stuttered, averting her eyes from the wet shirt that now clung to Arizona's body. She didn't want to think about the feelings that had been stirred up by that sight.
"Thank you, Callie."
While Arizona changed her shirt in the bathroom, Callie tucked Sofia into bed. The Latina stayed in the room while Arizona curled up on Sofia's bed and read her a story. Callie loved watching the two of them together. Sofia always held onto the bottom of Arizona's shirt and stared at her Mama until her eyes started to droop. Callie could never understand why Arizona had ever thought she couldn't be a mother. The blonde was a natural, and it was obvious how much she loved her daughter.
"She's out," Arizona whispered as she gently loosened Sofia's grip on the oversized t-shirt Arizona wore. She carefully got off the bed without disturbing her daughter.
"You're so good with her," Callie blurted.
"She's my daughter," Arizona said, blushing. "She's a wonderful little girl."
"And you're a wonderful mother," Callie continued with another heartfelt compliment, causing Arizona cheeks to further redden.
"No, Callie. You are. You've done a terrific job with her in my… my absence."
"Arizona…"
"So, it's getting late. I should probably head out," the blonde said, stepping into the living room. "Is it okay if I bring your shirt to work tomorrow? Mine isn't dry yet," Arizona rambled.
"Arizona, don't leave yet."
"Callie, I think it would be best if I did."
"No, stay and have a glass of wine with me. We need to talk."
Arizona knew this was it. She was finally going to have to face Callie. "Okay," she said quietly.
"White or red?" Callie asked as she went into the kitchen.
"White, please," Arizona answered, following Callie into the room. She waited in silence as Callie took out the glasses and two bottles of wine, white for her and red for herself. Arizona couldn't help but dread the talk that was coming. Her parents' voices echoed in her mind, her father's 'all actions have consequences' followed by her mother's slightly more gentle 'the time always comes when you have to pay the piper'. The blonde mentally told her parents to shut up.
Glasses in hand, the two women returned to the living room. Arizona shut her eyes and let herself enjoy one last civil, friendly moment before it would all come screeching to a halt.
"Can I just say something first, Callie?" Arizona bravely asked.
"If it's about last week, then no," Callie replied, sitting down beside Arizona on the sofa. "I need to talk first. I need to tell you something."
Arizona took a big gulp of wine from her glass before turning to face the other woman. "So? What did you want to tell me?"
"So, I've been thinking a lot since last week, when you…"
"When I kissed you," Arizona finished the sentence. "And I'm really sorry about that, Callie. I don't know -"
"Stop," Callie said, cutting the blonde off. "Let me finish, okay?"
Arizona nodded in defeat. That stupid, stupid kiss was going to be the end of them. She was positive. She waited for Callie to gather her thoughts.
"So?" she asked after Callie remained silent.
"I think it's time we started dating again," Callie blurted.
Arizona felt her stomach drop. She expected maybe a little anger from Callie, maybe even more than a little. This… this was the worst thing she could hear.
"What? I don't understand, Callie. Are you dating… do you want to date someone now? I'm… I don't want to date anyone right now… I'm not ready for that," she sputtered.
Callie watched Arizona's face turn from a look of dread to outright devastation. She realized that although she understood what she was saying and how she felt, Arizona had no idea. "Wait, no, that's not what I mean," she tried to explain.
"I get that you're probably ready to move on, and I appreciate you giving me a heads up," Arizona continued, not hearing Callie. "But honestly, Callie, I don't think I'm ready to hear it yet." The blonde set her glass down and started to get up from the sofa.
Callie immediately stuck her hand out and stopped the blonde. "Wait. I got this all wrong. You don't understand."
"What's there to understand? You're moving on. Good for you."
"Just stop, Arizona," Callie said. "Just listen to me, please."
Fighting the urge to flee, Arizona reluctantly sank back onto the sofa. She waited for Callie to explain. She was definitely surprised to see the brunette now looking a little nervous.
"I meant us," Callie said in a soft, almost timid voice.
"What do you mean?" Arizona asked. The devastation she'd felt only moments ago had now turned to utter confusion.
"These months apart, and then these past few weeks when we've gotten to spend time together… It's made me realize a few things."
"Like what?" Arizona asked nervously.
"We needed the time apart, Arizona. Things had gotten so bad between us. Really bad. So many things kept happening to us and we both handled everything so badly."
"Not both of us," Arizona said with a bit of self-hatred showing in her voice. "I broke us. It was my fault."
"No, I'm not going to let you accept all the blame. We both had a part in it." She took a long sip from her wine. "But that's not what I want to talk about. We've done nothing but talk about it all, and I'm done with talking about it," she said firmly and sincerely. "It's in the past."
Arizona looked down at the glass in her hands. She took a deep, calming breath, hoping that it would help.
"Arizona, I just wanted to tell you that I like you."
The blonde looked up and saw nothing but warmth in Callie's eyes and smile. What does that mean? She likes me as a friend? I don't understand what she's trying to tell me.
Callie saw the confusion and a little bit of fear in Arizona's eyes. She smiled again, trying to allay some of the fear that Arizona was clearly feeling.
"Look, I'm not the one who's good at giving speeches. We both know that." They shared a smile. "But I do know that I like Arizona Robbins, awesome mother to an amazing little girl, peds surgeon extraordinaire, and fetal badass." They both grinned at Callie's choice of words. "And I don't just like her. I love her. I'm still in love with her," Callie admitted.
Arizona's mouth dropped open, stunned by Callie's words. She was so shocked she couldn't speak.
"Arizona, I have missed you so much. This time apart made me really think about us. Yes, things were really bad, but having spent these few weeks together, let me know, made me think about how good things were, too." She took Arizona's hand, the first time they'd truly shared a touch since they'd split. "It's given me a chance to see how good it can be for us." Callie raised Arizona's hand and laid a gentle kiss on the pale skin. "I've really missed you, Arizona, and I want you back. I want us back." She took a deep breath. "I love you."
Arizona was still speechless, and Callie was beginning to wonder if she'd regret what she'd told the blonde. She'd been positive that Arizona had felt the same way, but given the blonde's silence, she was beginning to have her doubts.
Arizona's hand tightened around Callie's. "I love you, too," she said softly. She gazed into Callie's eyes for a moment before speaking again. "But what does this all mean for us?" she asked, unable to mask the anxiety that was creeping in once more.
"I think… I'd like to start dating again," Callie said. "Us, I mean," she added, remembering how Arizona had misunderstood her earlier declarations. "I want us to start dating, take it slowly. Not dinner with Sofia, or family days, though those are great and I still want them. I just want us, the adult hot, sexy women that we are, to date."
"Oh, I, uh, okay," Arizona said, her brain fighting past the words 'hot' and 'sexy' and all the images that it conjured up.
"And I think maybe sex should be off the table, at least for a little while," Callie said, even though it wasn't what she really wanted. "We've used sex in the past, as fantastic as it was, to avoid things, and I don't want to repeat that."
"Okay. That's probably a good idea." Arizona swallowed her disappointment. "But we can still kiss, right?" she asked with a mischievous smile.
"Oh, definitely," Callie said, moving closer to the blonde. "And maybe, after a few dates, I'll let you feel me up," she smirked.
"I'm looking forward to that," Arizona grinned as fell into Callie's embrace. She leaned in to kiss Callie, but the brunette stopped her. "What? Why did you stop me?"
"We haven't gone on a date yet," Callie said.
"So when are we going to?" Arizona asked impatiently.
"How's tomorrow night? You can meet me here after work. I'll get a sitter