fucking monets...
i hate fucking monets.
guys that look really hot and then you get a better look at them and they are fucking UGLY!!!
i hate that.
ditching school to go to cafe crepe again was funfunfun. mmmm...strawberries and crepes.
as was shopping on 3rd streets with the homies.
i want more clothes.
depressing shit...
so a really good friend of mine mite have a brain tumor. im really scared for her. i hope she doesnt, or if she does, she pulls through. im so scared...i wish i could do something. the feeling of helplessness is horrible.
and my ex boyfriend that i still love but have gotten used to the fact that we are broken up is suicidal again. and i have no way to contact him whatsoever. so im really fucking scared for him to. and i feel just as helpless here also.
but at the same time im kinda irritated. he broke up with me cuz he said i was makign him too depressed cuz it was a long distance thing. he even said at teh same time "i love you but i think we need to break up" less then two weeks after asking me to move in with him, on the day of our 5 months. i still love him. it wasnt a bad breakup...i think i'll always love him. ive just gotten used to teh fact that we arent dating. i think the minimal contact is helping. but i told him breaking up with me wont solve his problems or make him less depressed or any shit like that. all it would do is remove someone that loved him and would give him anything he wants from his life. adn what has happned now. hes more depressed the before, his life is more screwed up, and he doesnt have me or a significant other. its an i told you so moment but i dont feel like saying it. even though i am through this jouranl entry that he probably wont read since he unfriended me. but im not happy that i was so right. i wish i was wrong. cuz if i was wrong then it would mean things are going good for him, not bad. its bittersweet. no wait...its just bitter. this is depressign me...i cant dwell on it or i get more depressed.
oh and missy came into karate today. that was rad. and starting next week i get my own students. i'll have 3 actually...a 4 yr old, a 9 yr old, and a 16 yr old. that should be interesting...
sleep now.
die physics die.
and school too.
mmm...crepes.
--fin--
guys that look really hot and then you get a better look at them and they are fucking UGLY!!!
i hate that.
ditching school to go to cafe crepe again was funfunfun. mmmm...strawberries and crepes.
as was shopping on 3rd streets with the homies.
i want more clothes.
depressing shit...
so a really good friend of mine mite have a brain tumor. im really scared for her. i hope she doesnt, or if she does, she pulls through. im so scared...i wish i could do something. the feeling of helplessness is horrible.
and my ex boyfriend that i still love but have gotten used to the fact that we are broken up is suicidal again. and i have no way to contact him whatsoever. so im really fucking scared for him to. and i feel just as helpless here also.
but at the same time im kinda irritated. he broke up with me cuz he said i was makign him too depressed cuz it was a long distance thing. he even said at teh same time "i love you but i think we need to break up" less then two weeks after asking me to move in with him, on the day of our 5 months. i still love him. it wasnt a bad breakup...i think i'll always love him. ive just gotten used to teh fact that we arent dating. i think the minimal contact is helping. but i told him breaking up with me wont solve his problems or make him less depressed or any shit like that. all it would do is remove someone that loved him and would give him anything he wants from his life. adn what has happned now. hes more depressed the before, his life is more screwed up, and he doesnt have me or a significant other. its an i told you so moment but i dont feel like saying it. even though i am through this jouranl entry that he probably wont read since he unfriended me. but im not happy that i was so right. i wish i was wrong. cuz if i was wrong then it would mean things are going good for him, not bad. its bittersweet. no wait...its just bitter. this is depressign me...i cant dwell on it or i get more depressed.
oh and missy came into karate today. that was rad. and starting next week i get my own students. i'll have 3 actually...a 4 yr old, a 9 yr old, and a 16 yr old. that should be interesting...
sleep now.
die physics die.
and school too.
mmm...crepes.
--fin--