One last try
I writ a story and I'm too sick and tired of this stupid machine to tell you all the stuff that I already tried to say.
Note to Kim: I hope you don't mind me posting this. I changed the names a bit to make sure no creeps know who you are.
Here is the first installment. It's pretty long. Bear with it, it's a little contrived, but whatever. It's still good.
“Shite! How the fuck am I supposed to do this stupid scene when my tie’s not tied, my make-up isn’t on, and I don’t even know my lines! Hey, Babe,” he questioned her lovingly, “do you think you could help me out here? I can’t fuckin’ remember how to tie a bloody tie! Can you do it again for me?”
She reached up and gently undid the hideous pile of fabric tied in a knot around his neck. Slowly, she formed a neat knot and tightened it to a comfortable length. “There,” she said. “That wasn’t so bad. Now, give me your script and I’ll help you with your lines. You know, you don’t even have to ask for me to help you.”
He looked longingly into her eyes. “What would I ever do without you, Kim?”
“You’d die. Plain and simple. You would never get anything done and you’d die in a puddle of your own self-piteous tears.” She laughed a cute, short laugh and patted foundation and blush onto his perfectly flawless cheeks. Slowly, bringing his hand to her cheek, he leaned toward her face until their lips touched. She pulled away slowly. “Honey, you have to get these lines memorized, otherwise you’ll look like an idiot out there. This director doesn’t know anything about you. You have to prove to him that you’re not just some slacker who fools around.”
“Alright, fine,” he said, rolling his eyes. “You always ruin my fun.”
“Oh, poor baby! Does Billy want mommy to give him a cookie? Would that make Billy feel better?”
“Absolutely. I’d like M&M, if you have it. And I like them kind of mushy. Not too doughy, but not crispy. Oh! And if you have could get me a glass of milk-“
Kim shoved him across the spacious trailer. “Shut up, jerk! Okay, you really have to work on this! I’ll start. ‘Nathan, how long do you think you can pretend with me? I’m not some foolish school girl anymore. I love you, and if you don’t feel the same way about me, maybe we should just… just go our separate ways!’”
“‘Oh Michelle! I love you more than anything in the world. Do me! Do me now!’”
“Billy!” she laughed. “That’s not in the script!” He reached forward and grabbed her shoulders, dipping her back onto the bed. She shrieked playfully. “Billy! You really need to practice! Stop!” He threw his script behind him as he held her down with his other hand. She struggled under his weight, trying to free herself from his grip. “Billy!”
The door swung open and in walked a tightly dressed young man. “Um, Mr. Boyd? Sorry to interrupt, but Mr. Spielberg needs you. He said you need to do the scene from last night again. Sorry, Miss Odlaug. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
Kim and Billy sat on the bed, laughing abashedly. “It’s okay, Daniel,” Kim said forgivingly. “It’s your job. And Billy was just getting ready for that scene anyway, weren’t you Billy?”
Billy straightened his hair and picked up his script from the other side of the trailer. “Sure thing. Listen, Kim, how’s about you accompanying me to dinner tonight? I made reservations at the best little Mexican restaurant you’ve ever been to. How ‘bout it?”
“I would love to,” she blushed. Billy followed Daniel out of the trailer and stopped in the doorway. He turned and looked at her with a small smile on his face.
“Okay, then. I’ll pick you up at your hotel at 8. And, uh, I just wanted to tell you, well, you look lovely and, and I love you. Bye.” He turned abruptly and shut the trailer door, leaving her sitting motionlessly on the bed, staring at the closed door. She sat there for quite some time smiling meekly as she contemplated the gravity of what he just said.
“He loves me. He loves me. I think I need some water.” Slowly she lifted herself off the bed and walked to the kitchen. She reached into the refrigerator and grabbed an unopened bottle of purified water. She bit her lip, thinking deeply. “Hm. He loves me.” And she gulped down the cold beverage like an alcoholic on a bad day. “He loves me and we’re going out to dinner at 8.” Her meek smile turned quickly into a broad, shiny-eyed smile and then into a wide-eyed look of horror. “It’s 6 o’clock. It’s 6 and I’m going out at 8. I’m going out at 8 and I don’t have the faintest idea of what to wear! Crap!” And she grabbed her purse and ran out of the trailer to her car.
Quickly, her red Porsche sped off the film lot and onto the freeway where she weaved briskly through the lightly crowded lanes. She took the exit that led to her hotel, but instead of turning into the immense hotel lot, she sped quickly past it and onto the street that led to the biggest mall in Los Angeles. She rushed past the thronging crowds and into the quaint boutique on the corner. She knew this boutique well for, although she had never purchased anything there, she had looked through the dresses many times, dancing around in front of the mirrors wistfully and longing to have some occasion on which to wear one of them. Well, this certainly was an occasion and she certainly didn’t mean to wear any old thing. She walked past the gaudy dresses in the front and to the rack in the very back where she had skillfully hidden the most beautiful of all the dresses behind an awful pant-suit. She whisked the dress up to the cashier and laid down her platinum credit card. The cashier looked at her questioningly. “Um, don’t you want to try it on first? We have a very strict return policy.”
Just then, a plump, rosy-faced young woman walked out of the back room and spotted Kim buying the dress. She rushed over and shoved the other cashier out of the way. “I’ll handle this one, Monique. So Kim,” she bubbled with excitement, “you finally decided to buy the dress. What’s the occasion? You’ve been in here every weekend trying that dress on. I actually look forward to the days when you come in. But you’ve never bought it. What’s so special that you’re buying it?”
Kim beamed with excitement as she placed her words carefully together. “Okay, Jen, you know my boyfriend, Billy? You know how I told you I didn’t think he really took me seriously, like I was just an exceptionally cute fan that he didn’t mind being seen with?”
Jen was practically bursting with excitement as she ran the credit card through the acceptor. “Yes, yes!” she squealed through clenched teeth. “Go on, go on, what happened? Spit it out!!”
Slowly, Kim breathed two deep breaths and said in a quick, short sentence, “He said he loves me.” The little boutique was silent except for the noise of Monique quietly re-hanging dresses. Then, as if an epiphany had come down from Heaven itself and struck both girls at the counter, two high-pitched screams carried through the walls of the little boutique and into the north wing of the mall. Both girls jumped joyously up and down in their places and hugged rapturously over the counter.
“Oh my gosh! He said he loved you? My little Kim is finally a woman!! Do you hear that Monique? He loves her! Next thing you know, you’ll be visiting every weekend with a little train of the most attractive children you’ve ever seen! Oh my gosh! I can’t believe it!” And so the conversation continued for quite some time until Kim realized that it was 7 and she only had an hour to prepare for the date of her life. Quickly, Jen and Monique wished Kim good luck as she rushed out of the boutique to her hotel.
As the elevator ascended the 20 levels of the hotel to her penthouse suite, Kim thought of the first time she and Billy had ever “met”. It was a rainy January afternoon and four giddy girls were running out of a brightly lit movie theater. Like a gaggle of geese, the girls jumped around each other and began to discuss the movie they had just seen.
“Oh my gosh!” squealed a tall red-head. “Wasn’t Orlando Bloom totally hot? I mean, every time Legolas said something, my heart stopped beating and my cheeks went flush!”
A blonde girl went next. “I know!! Did you see the YM article about him! He wasn’t wearing a shirt and all I could do was stare at the page! My mom practically had to force-feed me my dinner, I wouldn’t take my eyes off of him!”
“Kim,” said a third girl. “Don’t you think it was totally hot how Orlando’s eyes changed colors every time they showed him? Kim?”
But Kim wasn’t really listening. She had lagged behind the group of girls and was staring blankly off into space. It took her a while to even realize that they had reached her car and she needed to unlock the door. Slowly, her mind came back to reality and she began looking around confusedly. “What? Oh, um, sure, I guess he was okay. I mean, if you like that kind of thing.”
All of the girls stopped in their tracks and stared in disbelief as Kim fumbled for her keys. The red-head stepped forward. “Kim Golave. Do you mean to tell me that you don’t have a total and complete crush on Orlando Bloom? What’s wrong with you? Were your eyes shut the entire movie?”
“Well, no,” stammered Kim. “I guess, well, I didn’t really notice him. Sorry. My mind is on other things.” Each one of the girls’ jaws dropped as they climbed into Kim’s car. Soon, however, their fickle young minds turned back to Orlando Bloom. The car was filled with the sound of giddy crushes and soda pop music. Just as the car was pulling into the driveway in front of Kim’s house, she said something that left the girls speechless. “I thought Billy Boyd was really cute. You know? Pippin? Peregrin Took?”
And so concluded her first encounter with Billy.
Note to Kim: I hope you don't mind me posting this. I changed the names a bit to make sure no creeps know who you are.
Here is the first installment. It's pretty long. Bear with it, it's a little contrived, but whatever. It's still good.
“Shite! How the fuck am I supposed to do this stupid scene when my tie’s not tied, my make-up isn’t on, and I don’t even know my lines! Hey, Babe,” he questioned her lovingly, “do you think you could help me out here? I can’t fuckin’ remember how to tie a bloody tie! Can you do it again for me?”
She reached up and gently undid the hideous pile of fabric tied in a knot around his neck. Slowly, she formed a neat knot and tightened it to a comfortable length. “There,” she said. “That wasn’t so bad. Now, give me your script and I’ll help you with your lines. You know, you don’t even have to ask for me to help you.”
He looked longingly into her eyes. “What would I ever do without you, Kim?”
“You’d die. Plain and simple. You would never get anything done and you’d die in a puddle of your own self-piteous tears.” She laughed a cute, short laugh and patted foundation and blush onto his perfectly flawless cheeks. Slowly, bringing his hand to her cheek, he leaned toward her face until their lips touched. She pulled away slowly. “Honey, you have to get these lines memorized, otherwise you’ll look like an idiot out there. This director doesn’t know anything about you. You have to prove to him that you’re not just some slacker who fools around.”
“Alright, fine,” he said, rolling his eyes. “You always ruin my fun.”
“Oh, poor baby! Does Billy want mommy to give him a cookie? Would that make Billy feel better?”
“Absolutely. I’d like M&M, if you have it. And I like them kind of mushy. Not too doughy, but not crispy. Oh! And if you have could get me a glass of milk-“
Kim shoved him across the spacious trailer. “Shut up, jerk! Okay, you really have to work on this! I’ll start. ‘Nathan, how long do you think you can pretend with me? I’m not some foolish school girl anymore. I love you, and if you don’t feel the same way about me, maybe we should just… just go our separate ways!’”
“‘Oh Michelle! I love you more than anything in the world. Do me! Do me now!’”
“Billy!” she laughed. “That’s not in the script!” He reached forward and grabbed her shoulders, dipping her back onto the bed. She shrieked playfully. “Billy! You really need to practice! Stop!” He threw his script behind him as he held her down with his other hand. She struggled under his weight, trying to free herself from his grip. “Billy!”
The door swung open and in walked a tightly dressed young man. “Um, Mr. Boyd? Sorry to interrupt, but Mr. Spielberg needs you. He said you need to do the scene from last night again. Sorry, Miss Odlaug. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
Kim and Billy sat on the bed, laughing abashedly. “It’s okay, Daniel,” Kim said forgivingly. “It’s your job. And Billy was just getting ready for that scene anyway, weren’t you Billy?”
Billy straightened his hair and picked up his script from the other side of the trailer. “Sure thing. Listen, Kim, how’s about you accompanying me to dinner tonight? I made reservations at the best little Mexican restaurant you’ve ever been to. How ‘bout it?”
“I would love to,” she blushed. Billy followed Daniel out of the trailer and stopped in the doorway. He turned and looked at her with a small smile on his face.
“Okay, then. I’ll pick you up at your hotel at 8. And, uh, I just wanted to tell you, well, you look lovely and, and I love you. Bye.” He turned abruptly and shut the trailer door, leaving her sitting motionlessly on the bed, staring at the closed door. She sat there for quite some time smiling meekly as she contemplated the gravity of what he just said.
“He loves me. He loves me. I think I need some water.” Slowly she lifted herself off the bed and walked to the kitchen. She reached into the refrigerator and grabbed an unopened bottle of purified water. She bit her lip, thinking deeply. “Hm. He loves me.” And she gulped down the cold beverage like an alcoholic on a bad day. “He loves me and we’re going out to dinner at 8.” Her meek smile turned quickly into a broad, shiny-eyed smile and then into a wide-eyed look of horror. “It’s 6 o’clock. It’s 6 and I’m going out at 8. I’m going out at 8 and I don’t have the faintest idea of what to wear! Crap!” And she grabbed her purse and ran out of the trailer to her car.
Quickly, her red Porsche sped off the film lot and onto the freeway where she weaved briskly through the lightly crowded lanes. She took the exit that led to her hotel, but instead of turning into the immense hotel lot, she sped quickly past it and onto the street that led to the biggest mall in Los Angeles. She rushed past the thronging crowds and into the quaint boutique on the corner. She knew this boutique well for, although she had never purchased anything there, she had looked through the dresses many times, dancing around in front of the mirrors wistfully and longing to have some occasion on which to wear one of them. Well, this certainly was an occasion and she certainly didn’t mean to wear any old thing. She walked past the gaudy dresses in the front and to the rack in the very back where she had skillfully hidden the most beautiful of all the dresses behind an awful pant-suit. She whisked the dress up to the cashier and laid down her platinum credit card. The cashier looked at her questioningly. “Um, don’t you want to try it on first? We have a very strict return policy.”
Just then, a plump, rosy-faced young woman walked out of the back room and spotted Kim buying the dress. She rushed over and shoved the other cashier out of the way. “I’ll handle this one, Monique. So Kim,” she bubbled with excitement, “you finally decided to buy the dress. What’s the occasion? You’ve been in here every weekend trying that dress on. I actually look forward to the days when you come in. But you’ve never bought it. What’s so special that you’re buying it?”
Kim beamed with excitement as she placed her words carefully together. “Okay, Jen, you know my boyfriend, Billy? You know how I told you I didn’t think he really took me seriously, like I was just an exceptionally cute fan that he didn’t mind being seen with?”
Jen was practically bursting with excitement as she ran the credit card through the acceptor. “Yes, yes!” she squealed through clenched teeth. “Go on, go on, what happened? Spit it out!!”
Slowly, Kim breathed two deep breaths and said in a quick, short sentence, “He said he loves me.” The little boutique was silent except for the noise of Monique quietly re-hanging dresses. Then, as if an epiphany had come down from Heaven itself and struck both girls at the counter, two high-pitched screams carried through the walls of the little boutique and into the north wing of the mall. Both girls jumped joyously up and down in their places and hugged rapturously over the counter.
“Oh my gosh! He said he loved you? My little Kim is finally a woman!! Do you hear that Monique? He loves her! Next thing you know, you’ll be visiting every weekend with a little train of the most attractive children you’ve ever seen! Oh my gosh! I can’t believe it!” And so the conversation continued for quite some time until Kim realized that it was 7 and she only had an hour to prepare for the date of her life. Quickly, Jen and Monique wished Kim good luck as she rushed out of the boutique to her hotel.
As the elevator ascended the 20 levels of the hotel to her penthouse suite, Kim thought of the first time she and Billy had ever “met”. It was a rainy January afternoon and four giddy girls were running out of a brightly lit movie theater. Like a gaggle of geese, the girls jumped around each other and began to discuss the movie they had just seen.
“Oh my gosh!” squealed a tall red-head. “Wasn’t Orlando Bloom totally hot? I mean, every time Legolas said something, my heart stopped beating and my cheeks went flush!”
A blonde girl went next. “I know!! Did you see the YM article about him! He wasn’t wearing a shirt and all I could do was stare at the page! My mom practically had to force-feed me my dinner, I wouldn’t take my eyes off of him!”
“Kim,” said a third girl. “Don’t you think it was totally hot how Orlando’s eyes changed colors every time they showed him? Kim?”
But Kim wasn’t really listening. She had lagged behind the group of girls and was staring blankly off into space. It took her a while to even realize that they had reached her car and she needed to unlock the door. Slowly, her mind came back to reality and she began looking around confusedly. “What? Oh, um, sure, I guess he was okay. I mean, if you like that kind of thing.”
All of the girls stopped in their tracks and stared in disbelief as Kim fumbled for her keys. The red-head stepped forward. “Kim Golave. Do you mean to tell me that you don’t have a total and complete crush on Orlando Bloom? What’s wrong with you? Were your eyes shut the entire movie?”
“Well, no,” stammered Kim. “I guess, well, I didn’t really notice him. Sorry. My mind is on other things.” Each one of the girls’ jaws dropped as they climbed into Kim’s car. Soon, however, their fickle young minds turned back to Orlando Bloom. The car was filled with the sound of giddy crushes and soda pop music. Just as the car was pulling into the driveway in front of Kim’s house, she said something that left the girls speechless. “I thought Billy Boyd was really cute. You know? Pippin? Peregrin Took?”
And so concluded her first encounter with Billy.