Le sigh
So, last night the Bolivian and I went to a movie and dinner together. And though it seems like he does like me, I was very sad because he didn't really touch me that much. Like, he didn't hold my hand or anything. He gave me a hug when he dropped me back off at my house, and that was about it. Though, he did say he was going to keep my ring forever. But he didn't remember that he had kissed me after the party, or that we held hands or anything. So that was kind of depressing. But then tonight, he picked me up and we went to Post Mortum together (which is a drama term which means we sit around and talk about what worked and didn't work about the show) and on the way back he held my hand a little and was tickling me and stuff. And he kissed my cheek before I got out of the car. And he was completely sober, so that's happy. He wants to hang out this weekend. Yippee! And there's a(nother) cast party on Sunday night and he asked me to drive him so he can get sloshed. Which is meh, but he asked me to "take advantage of [him] when [he] gets wasted". I thought that was vaguely sweet in a disturbing kind of way. But whatever. And I'm afraid that writing about this to everyone is kind of psychotic or something. That's the one thing I don't like about LiveJournal. I feel like if it stays in my head, all these things that I assume, then it's not really unhealthy. Everyone does that, right? For instance, when a guy talks to you (or a girl, if you happen to take interest in girls) do you not make assumptions and kind of let your imagination get the better of you? Like maybe they're just saying, "Hey, how are you?" And you imagine that that means, "Hey, how you doin'?" in a way that implies more than just friendliness. If you don't do that, then I feel really stupid right now, but I have a feeling that I'm not the only one. Anywho, if you do it in your head, it's okay. But I feel like if you write it down, that's kind of solidifying it, which enables you to obsess over things which would normally just stay in your head. Maybe I'm just talking crazy. I feel like I'm rambling, and as is obvious by the length of this entry, I clearly am. But I'm really trying hard not to let my emotions get too exploded (for lack of a better word) about this because I don't want the Bolivian to think that I'm crazy or obsessive or anything. So yeah. All that to say I don't want him to get scared of me. So tell me if you think I'm being a little too obsessive about him. :)