I think this is normal.
Well, here I am 34 weeks pregnant. Almost 35 at this point. I am a giant belly. That's all I can really explain it as. I am starving at all times, and I just don't care anymore. I have gained well over 50lbs, but luckily I am going into my 9th month next week. I just can't even care about it. I did for so long, and I let it bother me so much. I know I'll go back with breast feeding and my elliptical. I just need to suck it up, fight off those ed demons, and allow Sebastien to get the nutrients that he needs.
I had that wake up call while we were in the WIC office yesterday. (hooray for being low income)
All of these screaming children around me. And then I had that thought. The one that most people won't tell you about, but because this is my journal, I can say it. "Am I really cut out for this?". I know I will be. I don't think anyone is until they're put in that situation. Its just scary. This little life form is yours, and it depends on you and needs you to keep it safe. I can't wait to meet him, see him, hold him. I can't believe we're almost done now. Part of me doesn't want it to end, I want to keep him in there. Its safe in there. But I know that's irrational, and I don't want to be one of those "Woman has been pregnant for 40 years with fossilized fetus", head lines. I know Mike will be there, and it will be exciting and frightening all at the same time.
But am I ready? Are you ever ready? I don't think so. At least I've got the basics:
housing
insurance
doctor
income (ish)
All lined up.
We can do this. I know we can. I feel like that movie "away we go" really defines my life right now.
Except I am a less attractive version of Maya Rudolph, and how well her body looks pregnant.
thats all.
I had that wake up call while we were in the WIC office yesterday. (hooray for being low income)
All of these screaming children around me. And then I had that thought. The one that most people won't tell you about, but because this is my journal, I can say it. "Am I really cut out for this?". I know I will be. I don't think anyone is until they're put in that situation. Its just scary. This little life form is yours, and it depends on you and needs you to keep it safe. I can't wait to meet him, see him, hold him. I can't believe we're almost done now. Part of me doesn't want it to end, I want to keep him in there. Its safe in there. But I know that's irrational, and I don't want to be one of those "Woman has been pregnant for 40 years with fossilized fetus", head lines. I know Mike will be there, and it will be exciting and frightening all at the same time.
But am I ready? Are you ever ready? I don't think so. At least I've got the basics:
housing
insurance
doctor
income (ish)
All lined up.
We can do this. I know we can. I feel like that movie "away we go" really defines my life right now.
Except I am a less attractive version of Maya Rudolph, and how well her body looks pregnant.
thats all.