Oh bah.
It's been awhile, I can't really say where I've been. I haven't been doing too much. I've been livin'. I honestly am in a rutt in my life right now. Luckily tomorrow I am returning home. I think I just need some human interaction. I miss my friends. I miss having friends. I get so angry and frustrated living here. Its just hard without Mike being here, and its hard living with children that aren't mind and watching them make a mess of my house, and my life. I Don't do good with mess, and chaos. Which is strange because I used to be a huge mess. But now I find stability in cleanliness and order. I'm doing alright, I just feel like my life is at a stand still. I'm bored with everything. I'm excited to get home, and go on vacation, and see my best friend. I really feel as though I need all of those things. I wish I was getting back into college this semester. I don't understand why I don't qualify for any kind of financial assistance. My mom said owning our own house is what screws me. Well wonderful, I'll burn it down. Hows that?? :)
This deployment is coming to an end, and its getting rougher as the days go on. I just want my husband back. I am fluctuating between anger, and sadness, on a daily basis. Its awesome. I want something for myself, I need something for myself. Something to hold onto and say "Hey, look what I did!" I feel like I was so productive at first and now I just don't know what to do anymore.. except wait. I am sick of waiting, to be honest. WAIT WAIT WAIT, 2 yrs of wait.
I'm so blessed to have found such a wonderful man, and to be so very in love, but damn't, can this hurry up already? My wedding anniv. for 2yrs is next month :)
that is all. like I said, I don't have words anymore.
This deployment is coming to an end, and its getting rougher as the days go on. I just want my husband back. I am fluctuating between anger, and sadness, on a daily basis. Its awesome. I want something for myself, I need something for myself. Something to hold onto and say "Hey, look what I did!" I feel like I was so productive at first and now I just don't know what to do anymore.. except wait. I am sick of waiting, to be honest. WAIT WAIT WAIT, 2 yrs of wait.
I'm so blessed to have found such a wonderful man, and to be so very in love, but damn't, can this hurry up already? My wedding anniv. for 2yrs is next month :)
that is all. like I said, I don't have words anymore.