(no subject)
why do i feel the need to hide how i feel? why can't i just admit that im not always happy... i shouldnt always pretend everything is great. god i feel like shit. i have a raging cough..and i feel like complaining.. thats why i have this fucking journal..so i can complain, and maybe someone will read it. even if they dont, i still got to complain, and make myself feel a little bit better. i realize that the only person that can make me happy is myself.. no one else, because the only way i can be happy is if i want to be, not if someone else wants me too. so im working on it, maybe i just feel i need to be depressed for a short amout of time, to balance things out, even if that short amout of time is only one night.. i cant always be happy, thats not normal. so i am normal. its okay to be on your ass sometimes. it just fuckin sucks shit though, i gotta tell you, feeling like this.. i never express when i feel like this.. i dont know what good it will do..but oh well..at least i got it off my chest. ill probally feel better tomorrow. or i dont know, maybe not... maybe there is something wrong with me? uh, i duno. i think i might throw up. maybe im talking like this cuz i dont feel good. where the fuck am i going with this post? whats my point? maybe i dont even have a point. my mind is jumbled. i need to sleep.