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[captchalogue]

CRUCIBLE OF CREATIVE POTENTIAL: The Homestuck Request Meme
ACT TWO
(also known as SHITSTAIN ASSMASTER)By popular demand, a general request meme for MSPA, at long last. Have an idea you want to see drawn or written? This is the place to ask. Both romantic (of any kind, het or slash) and general prompts are accepted. Reply to those comments with art

Comments

VI: Lovers

[anonymous]

AN: why thank you, kind commentors <3 I AM still doing these, but I've just been crazy busy at the minute, and what fandom time I do have just keeps getting absorbed by RP. But I'm feeling pretty writerly at the minute, so I'm sure I'll be able to do a few trolls soon. in the meantime, HAVE JADE HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN. kids and fun, guys.

Dave is still jittery as they leave for the Land of Frost and Frogs, but he tells you that none of you have the time for any more bullshit. He just practices summoning Hephaestus once to get ready to kick Jade's Shadow's ass, and then you're off again.

You burst in and Jade almost shoves you straight back out.

g-guys! get out of here!!!

awwww no don't be so boring! everybody come in!! the more the merrier, huh?

Shadow Jade pulls her other self away from you, and smirks at you all, tilting her head to one side. She's in the fancy black and green dress she made, and there's something really disconcerting about the mean look on her face.

SHADOW JADE
don't mind her, guys! sit down, listen in, i was just talking about you!!

JADE
no no no shut up!!!

SHADOW JADE
hahahahaha!! oh man, look at you all wound up and embarrassed. i thought they were out best friends. i thought we could tell them anything. a-ny-thi-ng!

You decide Jade's Shadow is definitely the creepiest one.

SHADOW JADE
its no biggie, i was just talking about how tired i am of always running around after you three! sometimes a girl needs a break from your BULLSHIT PROBLEMS!!!

There's a moment of just utter stunned silence. Dave looks like he's just been punched in the stomach, and your expression probably isn't far off.

JADE
that's...that's not it. guys just don't listen to her, please.

SHADOW JADE
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
nobodys ever tried to help us nobodys ever offered to get us into the real world we were just left alone on that island with that fucking doll!! i'm expected to be all nice and sweet and mellow ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

JADE
just shut up, please.

SHADOW JADE
come on, jade. it's not like you're really so FUCKING CHIPPER ALL THE TIME. but if you ever showed them how angry you can get

o-or how sad boohoohoohoo

or how so very utterly lonely...

or how scared, how you sometimes just hide in your room at night when bec's away...

or any of that other pathetic bullshit they would have never ever stayed with you!

JOHN
jade that's not true!

DAVE
we would never have ditched you yo

Rose pinches you both on the arm and gives you both a stern glare.

SHADOW JADE
because the truth of the matter is that you hate yourself
you do and you would hate anybody else knowing
you hate anybody who reminds you of that part of yourself
you just hate hate hate under all of that FUCKING SUGAR.

JADE
shut up!!! you're a goddamn liar.

SHADOW JADE
aww don't be like that
can't deal with actually being more than a sunny little ball of fun?
admitting theres something darker behind that shitty anime cheeriness and those little hearts you sprinkle through your text, is that too hard for you?

JADE
stop it, stop it! this isn't funny!

SHADOW JADE
then again it's always been hard, hasn't it? you don't know how to be a real person. we never learned how to talk to people. So we just copy off our shitty baby tv shows or books we've read and pretend we have the tiniest FUCKING CLUE!

JADE
that's not true!! stop it, just stop it!! i'm not like that, i'm not you.

DAVE
oh here we go

SHADOW JADE
hahahahahahahaha

You get ready as the Shadow transforms, replaced with a long-haired blue lady, tentacles sprouting from her waist and masks in each hand, placing one on her face and cackling.

i am a shadow, the true self!!!
and i will show you every last side of me <3

Re: VI: Lovers

[anonymous]

nghsldkfj anon i looove this. stepford smilers are the best, so touching upon all that suppression is just fantastic. and i love how john notes that hers is the creepiest of all of them, it's a nice touch.

and her ascended shadow is the doll oh my god lskdfjsdlfj

and lovers!! brilliant call there o:

basically you win forever :D

Re: VI: Lovers

[anonymous]

thank you anon! <3 i'm glad you're digging it

Re: VI: Lovers

[mitbix]

Hey authoranon, I hope you won't this is weird and it's probably not what you had in mind but I maaay have drawn something based on this fill?

Re: VI: Lovers

[anonymous]

not the authornon, but that looks fantastic!

III: Empress

[anonymous]

yes yes yes <3 it's not in the slighest bit weird, bro. i love this like crazy, anon, it is almost perfectly what i imagined. thank you! also have some kanaya!issues

You've been ignoring every message you've got, ever since you saw her kissing him. You've poured everything inside you into the game instead, drowning out those feelings in your work.

You stand before the Denizen's door, brace yourself for whatever may lie beyond it, and enter.

Hello There Dear

Pardon

You stare at the mirror image standing there, wearing a long, brightly coloured ballgown and a tiara in her hair.

SHADOW KANAYA
I Said Hello There Kanaya
Please Attempt To Clear The Wax From Your Ears And Listen More Attentively
Listening And Comforting Is Your Speciality After All
And I Have Oh So Much To Get Off My Chest

KANAYA
What Sort Of Trial Or Trick Is This
Nobody Mentioned Anything This Peculiar Happening In Their Encounters With Their Denizens

SHADOW KANAYA
Of Course They Didnt Dear
Of Course They FUCKING Didnt

She takes a step closer, and you stumble back, almost dropping your lipstick in the process.

SHADOW KANAYA
Nobody Quite Ever Tells You Anything Do They
Nothing Desirable At The Very Least Nothing That You Wish To Hear
Only Their Troubles And Woes Only The Things You Wish Desperately To Understand And Care About
But You Cannot
Can You Dear

KANAYA
This Discourse Is Quickly Heading Into An Area I Am Not Sure I Fully Comprehend However I Find It Is Making Me Distinctly Uncomfortable And Causing Me Much Internal Distress And As Such I Would Appreciate It If You Would -

SHADOW KANAYA
You Are Rambling Dear
Hiding Behind Those Pretty Little Words Again I See
Building Yourself A Castle Of Those Pathetic Little Synonyms And Polite Little Phrases To Hide In And Get Lost In Forever And Ever
KANAYA
I Am Doing Nothing Of The Sort
Quite Frankly I Am Struggling To Understand Your Nonsense In The Slightest

SHADOW KANAYA
You Understand Dear Please Do Not Lie
After All We Have Always Been Dreadful At Lying To Anybody Other Than Ourselves

KANAYA
I

SHADOW KANAYA
Telling Ourselves We Are Special
That We Are Like Our Beloved Rainbow Drinkers Or Heroines From Our Favourite Novels
Bold And Pretty And Loved Ladies Of The Sunlight
Much Better Than To Admit That You Are Just A Complete FUCKING FREAK

KANAYA
Stop This

SHADOW KANAYA
Princess Kanaya Of Prospit
Queen Kanaya Of The Sun And Desert
We Live A Blessed Light Under Our Sun Do We Not

KANAYA
This Is Absurd A Fantasy At Most A Mere Fabrication In An Attempt To Frighten Or Intimidate Me

SHADOW KANAYA
Living In Our Little Palace Of Coloured Cloth Reading Our Novels And Painting Our Lips For Nobody To See
Making Clothes Nobody Will Ever Wear And Poetry Nobody Will Ever Read
Fantasising About Loves We Can Never Have And Stories We Will Never Be A Part Of

KANAYA
Stop It Stop It Stop It

SHADOW KANAYA
You Are A FREAK
You Are Lonely And Unloved
Nobody Cares About Poor Little Kanaya Nobody Is Riding In To Save Poor Little Kanaya Nobody Even Thinks Twice About Poor Little Kanaya
Even Our Moiraillegiance With Her Has Been Dead In The Fucking Water For Sweeps

KANAYA
STOP IT

SHADOW KANAYA
But We Held On And Held On Too Frightened And Cowardly To Tell Her Why We Clung So Desperately To This Faded Shredded Rag Of A Moiraillegience
And It All Came To Naught As Usual
Because She Never Loved Us To Begin With
Because Nobody Can Care About Me Quite As Much As I Can Care About Them
We Are Pathetic And Lonely And Useless And So So Bitter And Angry And You Know It You Know It You Know It So Much It Hurts

KANAYA
SHUT UP! It Has Never Been As You Have Described It
I Am Not Like You
I Am Not You

She laughs and grins, baring fangs as macabre glow takes over her body. In a snap, she is replaced by the figure of a glowing woman curled up around herself and wrapped in bright, glittering rags, surrounded by a swirling shield of torn books.

I Am A Shadow The True Self
And I Do Not Deserve Anything I Desire

XV: Devil

[anonymous]

You don't really remember how the hell you got here. That's alright though, you're pretty used to it at this point, you're not really sure what you've been doing for this entire game really.

You just have a vague understanding of some kind of upcoming battle, and you've got some pies and some wicked elixir at the ready. And your clubs, you guess, though you're pretty sure the Denizen is gonna be a pretty chill guy anyway.

Whatever. Let's get this motherfucking party started, honk honk. :o)

honk.
HONK.
HoNk?

Holy fucking motherfucking shit oh man.

Double Gamzee! This is a motherfucking miracle of the highest order.

In fact, with you, it's a motherfucking triple Gamzee. But what does it mean?

GAMZEE
hEy My FiNe MoThErFuCkErS.

SHADOW GAMZEE
honk.

SHADOW GAMZEE
HONK.

GAMZEE
MaN aRe We EvEr GoNnA hAvE tHe MoSt BiTcHtItS mOtHeRfUcKiNg TiMe HeRe. LeTs SlAm SoMe FaYgOs AnD rAp SoMe MoThErFuCkInG zEaLoUs PrAyErS hErE bRoThErS.

SHADOW GAMZEE
honk.

SHADOW GAMZEE
HONK.

GAMZEE
mOtHeRfUcKeRs ArEn'T tOo TaLkAtIvE aRe YoU? iT's CoOl JuGgAbRoS gOtTa Go WiTh WhAt YoU mOtHeRfUcKiNg FeEl, sHiT, yOu GeT Me?

SHADOW GAMZEE
hey motherfucker.

SHADOW GAMZEE.
SHUT THE FUCK UP.

GAMZEE
wOoOoAh ThE fUcK?

SHADOW GAMZEE
you're talking some wicked shit there brother but

SHADOW GAMZEE
YOU KNOW IT'S ALL FUCKING LIES.

GAMZEE
tHe ShIt MaN?

SHADOW GAMZEE
you never been going with your feelings motherfucker you never listen to your own damn brain.

SHADOW GAMZEE
BECAUSE WHAT GOES THROUGH YOUR HEAD SCARES THE MOTHERFUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU.

SHADOW GAMZEE
this miracles bullshit ain't gonna last, brother, one day you're gonna learn these things don't motherfucking happen.

SHADOW GAMZEE
WHEN YOU GET YOUR MOTHERFUCKING THINKPAN AROUND THAT WICKED REVELATION THE DARK CARNIVAL CAN BEGIN BROTHER

GAMZEE
HeY, bRoThErS, yOu'Re KiNdA wIgGiNg Me OuT wItH tHiS sHiT. MotHeRfUcKiNg ScArY sHiT gEtTiNg AlL uP iN mY gRiLl HeRe.

SHADOW GAMZEE
you shouldn't be the one getting all scared, juggabro.

SHADOW GAMZEE
YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE STRIKING the MOTHERFUCKING FEAR, MY SUBJUGGALATOR BROTHER. YOU'RE A BORN FUCKING KILLER BROTHER.

SHADOW GAMZEE
you honk about all these miracles on your doorstep, and the motherfucking mirthful messiah, and all this motherfucking rainbows and peace shit to all your brothers and sister but...

SHADOW GAMZEE
ALL THE WHILE YOU'RE THINKING WHAT THEIR HEAD WOULD LOOK LIKE ON A MOTHERFUCKING STICK

SHADOW GAMZEE
and the miracles you could paint in their motherfucking blood

SHADOW GAMZEE
THE SOUNDS THEIR BONES WOULD MAKE AS YOU BEAT THEM AGAINST THE MOTHERFUCKING WALL OVER AND OVER AND OVER

SHADOW GAMZEE
sick motherfucker dirty motherfucker fucked up motherfucker.

SHADOW GAMZEE
KILLED THEM ALL A MOTHERFUCKING MILLION TIMES IN YOUR HEAD HAVEN'T YOU, BROTHER?

SHADOW GAMZEE
only a matter of motherfucking time before the miracles die and you bring the fucking carnage.

SHADOW GAMZEE
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, MOTHERFUCKER? HONK. THEN IT'LL JUST BE ME, HIM AND YOU. HONK! :O)

GAMZEE
I...i FuCk MoThErFuCkErS i DoN't WaNnA mOthErFuCkInG...y-Y-yOu'Re MoTheRfUcKiNg ScArInG mE bRoThErS...FUCK.

You feel ill and dizzy.

SHADOW GAMZEE
you're gonna kill all those mothefuckers you wanna kill all those motherfuckers dirty fucker

SHADOW GAMZEE
DON'T TRY TO MOTHERFUCKING LIE ABOUT IT.

GAMZEE
fuck i don't...MOTHERFUCKER STOP IT mOtHeRfUcK hElP hElP MOTHERFUCKING HELP ME MOTHERFUCKERS fuck fuck fuck!

Everything goes dark...

yeah you motherfucking sleep tight brother
WE'RE NOT GOING MOTHERFUCKING ANYWHERE.

Re: XV: Devil

[anonymous]

huff puff, kanaya's is my new favourite. sooo much approval for choosing the empress to be her arcana (so perfect!) and i just love everything about the shadow itself. you touched on every issue that makes kanaya one of my favourite characters, and having it all up in the open like that was just magnificent and painful. having the shadow refer to her as 'dear' is just the most lovely touch. sooo good

my favourite line is this

I Am A Shadow The True Self
And I Do Not Deserve Anything I Desire

because it captures everything so well. so heartbreaking ;;

i really like how you handled gamzee's, too! the goat connections with the devil are super neat, even if it took me a while to catch them. i really like how you handled his, too, in the sense that it doesn't go like the rest. it ends differently. very well done (: