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CRUCIBLE OF CREATIVE POTENTIAL: The Homestuck Request Meme
ACT TWO
(also known as SHITSTAIN ASSMASTER)By popular demand, a general request meme for MSPA, at long last. Have an idea you want to see drawn or written? This is the place to ask. Both romantic (of any kind, het or slash) and general prompts are accepted. Reply to those comments with art ( Read more... )
ACT TWO
(also known as SHITSTAIN ASSMASTER)By popular demand, a general request meme for MSPA, at long last. Have an idea you want to see drawn or written? This is the place to ask. Both romantic (of any kind, het or slash) and general prompts are accepted. Reply to those comments with art ( Read more... )
~~~
grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG]
GA: Dave Is It True That You Have Misled Us Regarding The Nature Of A Human Females Period
TG: nah man
GA: Are You Certain
GA: John Said And I Quote
GA: "Periods Do Not Work That Way"
TG: okay clearly john has never met a woman before
GA: Is That Actually Possible
TG: idk
GA: What
TG: i dont know
GA: Oh
GA: In Any Case
GA: We Have Alchemized Some Chocolate
TG: k good
TG: youre gonna need it when jade comes storming in all angry and shit
TG: wanting to spill your weird rainbow blood everywhere
TG: and probably lick it all up like a fucking dog
TG: shits gross man
GA: Terezi Actually Expressed An Interest In Tasting Your Human Blood If That Counts For Anything
TG: nope
GA: Okay
TG: christ i thought you were the vampire here
GA: Rainbow Drinker
TG: sure whatever
GA: If You Must Know I Am Subsisting On Animal Blood And Doing Quite Well
TG: youre not one of those bullshit twilight vampires are you
GA: Whats Twilight
TG: its an earth human book about some bitch who fucks a vampire or something
TG: and she has to decide between him and a werewolf
GA: That Sounds Intriguing But Whats A Werewolf
TG: a person who turns into a wolf during the full moon
GA: So One Of Your Human Woofbeasts
TG: basically
GA: I See
GA: Anyway I Am Unsure Of What To Believe At This Juncture
GA: As You Honestly Do Not Seem To Be The Most Trustworthy Individual
TG: what the fuck im the most trustworthy person on this whole fucking meteor
TG: i mean just ask rose shell back me up
TG: shes my sister after all
TG: oh wait trolls dont have those
TG: gog you guys are so fucked up
TG: HOW HIGH do you have to BE.............
TG: anyway bye
grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG]
grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]
GA: Rose
GA: You Are A Human Female Correct
TT: Why do you even need to ask?
TT: But yes, I am.
GA: Okay Just Checking
GA: I Feel You Are Thus Qualified To Inform Me As To What Exactly A Period Is
GA: Dave Was Helpful But I Am Unsure About The Veracity Of His Information
TT: Oh God.
TT: Okay. I'll explain, if you promise not to block me this time.
GA: I Promise
TT: Good.
Rose proceeded to go into detail about the whole thing. Kanaya had a number of questions, but Rose was willing to answer, and by the end of their chat Kanaya was fairly sure she knew what was going on with Jade.
TT: So do you understand now?
GA: Yes
GA: Thank You So Much Rose I Was Really Starting To Worry
TT: Don't. It's perfectly normal.
TT: Well, for humans, at least.
GA: It Sounds Rather Unpleasant And Uncomfortable
TT: For some, yes.
TT: But like I said, it's normal.
GA: Wow
GA: Human Reproduction Sure Is Weird
TT: I suppose so, looking at it from a non-human perspective.
GA: Yes
GA: Okay I Will Relay This Information To The Other Trolls
TT: Okay, good.
TT: And Kanaya?
TT: Don't worry about Jade.
GA: Okay I Wont
TT: Good.
grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]
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"As I said earlier, yes." Kanaya paused. "From Jade, at least."
"Good to know. Thanks, Kanaya."
"You're welcome. I must say, Rose seems rather knowledgeable about these matters of human sexuality and reproduction. Wise beyond her years, and--"
Vriska glared at her. "Gooooooood, Kanaaaaaaaaya! Shut up about your fucking girl-crush already!"
"It's paler red than that, Vriska."
"Psh. Yeah riiiiiiiight!"
It was at this point that Kanaya smacked Vriska upside the head. Vriska promptly shut up--she was fairly sure Kanaya had just cracked her jaw.
Stupid sexy rainbow drinkers.
~~~
grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]
GA: Rose I Have A Favor To Ask Of You
TT: Oh?
TT: What would that be, Kanaya?
GA: If Its Not Too Much Trouble
GA: Id Like You To Teach Us More About Your Human Reproductive Cycle
GA: And Other Such Topics
TT: I suppose I could do that.
TT: I'm curious about how trolls reproduce, myself. Perhaps there are some things you could teach me.
GA: Perhaps
GA: For Now You Should Probably Get Some Sleep Though
TT: What about you?
GA: Im A Rainbow Drinker Remember
GA: We Dont Sleep
TT: I see.
TT: Goodnight, in any case.
GA: Goodnight Rose
tentacleTherapist [TT] signed off.
GA: <3
~~~
That's it! I'm actually thinking of writing a sequel of sorts where Rose follows through on her promise to teach sex ed to the trolls--I think it's been done before, but I'm doing it a bit differently I guess? I dunno. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this. It's one of the longer stories I've written. I'll be putting it on AO3 soon!
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I definitely intend to write the sequel. Comedy, I've learned, is REALLY fun to write.
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I'm so glad people are liking this! I had a LOT of fun writing it.
And FUCK YEAH KANAYAXROSE! Shipping in general might play a more prominent role in the sequel, but yeah.
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this is hysterical
i love it
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You
Someone filled my fail prompt and just this
you
<3
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Speaking of which, what is your Ao3, so I can subscribe you on there? I'm Ariamaki on there.
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