News Update: Chivalry Dead
BRONX, NY (January 2, 2009) -- An altercation in a Belmont bar tonight led to violence, and the death of a social construct later identified as Chivalry.
Chivalry, though a native of Arabia, became a darling of the noble families of Europe during the second half of the Middle Ages. Sadly, this common ground did little to stop the fighting between Christian and Muslim lands during the Crusades, possibly because Chivalry's foreign origins were played down in Europe -- indeed, there was significant fusion of Christian ritual and Chivalric ideals. Some historians have theorized that Chivalry actually may have actually encouraged hostilities during that period.
Though Chivalry's prime came to an end with the close of the Middle Ages, it remained very popular with the literary and academic elite of the Renaissance. Indeed, as its relevance to military affairs came to an end, it was adopted into the civilian population, where its ideals of noblesse oblige and protection of the weak provided a stable structure for the rising merchant class.
In recent times, however, Chivalry has been known by its friends and followers to have been on hard times. Modern concepts of the dignity of the common man and later postmodern questions regarding the definition of weakness and the legitimacy of the strong providing unasked for support, began to wear away at Chivalry's sense of purpose. In particular, the patriarchal attitudes that typified mainstream chivalry were challenged by modern feminist theory.
By most accounts, the 1950s were the beginning of the long spiral downward for Chivalry. At first, it spent much of its time with literary academics. Soon, however, it began to get into altercations with a number of poets; it was forcibly expelled from the grounds of Columbia University for an assault on Allen Ginsberg, and later required stitches after an encounter with Jack Kerouac (this was later ruled to have been mutual assault, and charges against both parties dropped).
If the fifties were the beginning of the end, the sixties were the time of the great fall. Called in to help disperse a sit-in at New York City's Tompkins Square Park in 1966, a visibly disoriented Chivalry proved wholly incompetent to the task; unable to tell male from female demonstrators, it had to resort to non-coercive means, which the protesters happily ignored. A group of flower children eventually carried Chivalry, covered in flowers and tie-dye, outside the park and placed it on a bus heading toward the West Village. The driver was the last to see Chivalry for the next two months.
After the embarrassment of the Tompkins Square debacle, Chivalry began drinking heavily. A poorly-executed attack on the Woodstock Festival in 1969 resulted in Chivalry -- in 80 lbs of armor -- sinking chin-deep into the mud and being used as an impromptu stage by Country Joe and the Fish for a rehearsal of "Love Machine". Later that day, Sha-Na-Na attempted to copy the stunt for a performance of "Yakety Yak", but couldn't be heard over Chivalry's sobs.
A heavily-medicated Chivalry, showing signs of cosmetic surgery, made occasional movie appearances throughout the 70s and 80s -- "Excalibur", "Willow", and voice work in the animated "He-Man and the Masters of the Universe", as well as the poorly received big-budget release "First Knight" in the 90s. According to close friends, however, it made ends meet mostly through appearances at renaissance faires and fantasy roleplaying conventions.
For the three weeks before its death, Chivalry had been staying in an efficiency rented by longtime friend Daniel Ackerson. "I was gonna sublet the place," said Ackerson, "but he was just so pathetic. I thought he might be drinking, but what was I going to do, I couldn't turn him out and he wouldn't go to AA."
The man and woman who were involved in the fatal altercation with Chivalry were released without charge, after police determined it they'd acted in self-defense.
Despite its last few troubled decades, Chivalry will be remembered fondly by many. Said Ackerson, "The guys and I probably won't have our game this week. Nobody's gonna feel like it. Still, next week I'm gonna do something to remember Chivalry by. I am definitely running Quest for the High King's Gold!"
Chivalry, though a native of Arabia, became a darling of the noble families of Europe during the second half of the Middle Ages. Sadly, this common ground did little to stop the fighting between Christian and Muslim lands during the Crusades, possibly because Chivalry's foreign origins were played down in Europe -- indeed, there was significant fusion of Christian ritual and Chivalric ideals. Some historians have theorized that Chivalry actually may have actually encouraged hostilities during that period.
Though Chivalry's prime came to an end with the close of the Middle Ages, it remained very popular with the literary and academic elite of the Renaissance. Indeed, as its relevance to military affairs came to an end, it was adopted into the civilian population, where its ideals of noblesse oblige and protection of the weak provided a stable structure for the rising merchant class.
In recent times, however, Chivalry has been known by its friends and followers to have been on hard times. Modern concepts of the dignity of the common man and later postmodern questions regarding the definition of weakness and the legitimacy of the strong providing unasked for support, began to wear away at Chivalry's sense of purpose. In particular, the patriarchal attitudes that typified mainstream chivalry were challenged by modern feminist theory.
By most accounts, the 1950s were the beginning of the long spiral downward for Chivalry. At first, it spent much of its time with literary academics. Soon, however, it began to get into altercations with a number of poets; it was forcibly expelled from the grounds of Columbia University for an assault on Allen Ginsberg, and later required stitches after an encounter with Jack Kerouac (this was later ruled to have been mutual assault, and charges against both parties dropped).
If the fifties were the beginning of the end, the sixties were the time of the great fall. Called in to help disperse a sit-in at New York City's Tompkins Square Park in 1966, a visibly disoriented Chivalry proved wholly incompetent to the task; unable to tell male from female demonstrators, it had to resort to non-coercive means, which the protesters happily ignored. A group of flower children eventually carried Chivalry, covered in flowers and tie-dye, outside the park and placed it on a bus heading toward the West Village. The driver was the last to see Chivalry for the next two months.
After the embarrassment of the Tompkins Square debacle, Chivalry began drinking heavily. A poorly-executed attack on the Woodstock Festival in 1969 resulted in Chivalry -- in 80 lbs of armor -- sinking chin-deep into the mud and being used as an impromptu stage by Country Joe and the Fish for a rehearsal of "Love Machine". Later that day, Sha-Na-Na attempted to copy the stunt for a performance of "Yakety Yak", but couldn't be heard over Chivalry's sobs.
A heavily-medicated Chivalry, showing signs of cosmetic surgery, made occasional movie appearances throughout the 70s and 80s -- "Excalibur", "Willow", and voice work in the animated "He-Man and the Masters of the Universe", as well as the poorly received big-budget release "First Knight" in the 90s. According to close friends, however, it made ends meet mostly through appearances at renaissance faires and fantasy roleplaying conventions.
For the three weeks before its death, Chivalry had been staying in an efficiency rented by longtime friend Daniel Ackerson. "I was gonna sublet the place," said Ackerson, "but he was just so pathetic. I thought he might be drinking, but what was I going to do, I couldn't turn him out and he wouldn't go to AA."
The man and woman who were involved in the fatal altercation with Chivalry were released without charge, after police determined it they'd acted in self-defense.
Despite its last few troubled decades, Chivalry will be remembered fondly by many. Said Ackerson, "The guys and I probably won't have our game this week. Nobody's gonna feel like it. Still, next week I'm gonna do something to remember Chivalry by. I am definitely running Quest for the High King's Gold!"