Angry...Just Angry
I don't know if you all have heard by now, but, Greta broke it off with me at Pennsic. Somewhere between the hour of 2 - 3 AM early Tueday morning and with much liquor in my system, she called it quits with me. I know what you all are saying, "She broke it off with you at PENNSIC!, That bitch!" Well, to be honest, I have pondered this issue through and through. It's better that she did it at Pennsic than when I was at home. She didn't want to end it with me over the phone or by e-mail. At least she had enough respect for me to do it in person. No matter how much it hurt. And, the best part of breaking up at Pennsic, I was surrounded by my friends, who are from my Kingdom, and know me better than she ever will. Even my friends in Sharc Pit were there for me! My thanks to all of my friends. Thank God for them, because I needed them right then and there. And they helped me SO much. They hugged me, they let me cry,they offered their condolensces, they listened to what I had to say and encouraged me to go out and socialize. Otherwise, I'd still be a miserable, sad bastard right now. I wouldn't have gone out, I wouldn't be talking to anyone. But, I'm taking this break up easier than the last.
Because, I'm angry. I'm angry that I let someone suppress parts of my personality just to please them. I tried to change my behavior, how I said things, things of that nature. And until a month ago, I was beginning to resent it. I began to have doubts about where this relationship was going or if it would last. But why did I take the news so hard? Why did I burst into tears? Because I had hope. I had hope that we could make this work. I was genuinely trying to make things better but I found myself compromising a lot. I don't mind compromising, but, a little SOMETHING back from time to time would have been nice. It was starting to become work. And in a short amount of time. You would have thought I'd have bailed by now. But, I held onto that glimmer of hope. Even when I told myself I wouldn't hold out so long.
I'll write more later about this. Because, I'm still angry. Eventually I'll break down my Pennsic adventure by day. Back to class I go.
Because, I'm angry. I'm angry that I let someone suppress parts of my personality just to please them. I tried to change my behavior, how I said things, things of that nature. And until a month ago, I was beginning to resent it. I began to have doubts about where this relationship was going or if it would last. But why did I take the news so hard? Why did I burst into tears? Because I had hope. I had hope that we could make this work. I was genuinely trying to make things better but I found myself compromising a lot. I don't mind compromising, but, a little SOMETHING back from time to time would have been nice. It was starting to become work. And in a short amount of time. You would have thought I'd have bailed by now. But, I held onto that glimmer of hope. Even when I told myself I wouldn't hold out so long.
I'll write more later about this. Because, I'm still angry. Eventually I'll break down my Pennsic adventure by day. Back to class I go.