Notes.

[captainpillows]

Good turnout for the party. Thanks to everyone who came and helped. I hope everyone enjoyed it.

It's nice to have the Cathedral back to normal. As normal as it gets...

I wonder how long I've been here. I stopped counting the days. Just slipped my mind, I guess.



Mary.
Did you think I'd forgotten you? I haven't.
I wish I could say that I think of you fondly.
Maybe it's more of the regret or...
I wonder if things had turned out differently...

Would I still be where I am? Would I be better off?
I can't say that I'm exactly happy. There have been things.
Things outside of my control that came up.
Sometimes I wonder if you're up there laughing at me.
How hard things have been. My mistakes.

Before, I'd say I don't believe in spirits or the afterlife.
Dad raised me telling me "Once you're dead, you're dead."
He told me to get my living done while I was alive.
I guess I disappointed him, too.

Now I'm not so sure. After everything I've seen. The people
I met in this place. There isn't much I don't believe in.
At least as far as magic and myth goes. I'd say I've coped with
it all fairly well. Considering.

I don't know how much longer I have here.
People come and go.
This place is like a shipyard.
Or if one day I'll just go out and that will be it.
A crab or that monster will get me and I'll be done.

Will they think of me? Will I see you?

Or will it be just like Dad said- gone. A grain of sand.

I doubt I've done enough to redeem myself.

It never really bothered me before but now I'm not so sure...