At Uni? Having Trouble Scoring? We Have The Product For You!
We here at Nick Enterprises are committed to providing our clients with the highest quality university boning experience. To this end, we have developed a special Boning Package for clients who spend too much time behind a computer and not enough rooting.
The Package utilises a Tri-Penetrative technique we call Polistitution in order to generate maximum rootage in minimal time. Polistitution is a three step process.
Step 1: Creating Awareness in the Market
The first stage of this package involves the creation of an anonymous Hotmail account and pseudoym to be used when corresponding to potential rootees, the usage of Photoshop, combined with a skillful combing of pornographic websites, to create stimulating pictures of yourself for disbursal to rootees. Our marketing department also begins subliminal advertising in all the lavatories at the university. Step one generally lasts about a week, and the end is marked by random rootees on campus remarking to each other "hey did u c that message on teh toilet wow that's kewl i'm horny".
Step 2: Ramp Up the Campaign
The second stage involves attracting potential rootees, and selling yourself to interested rootees. Our marketing and advertising departments will advertise all over campus on your behalf, posting your pseudonym, email address, and desire to bone, in the university's lavatories, on message boards, on blackboards inside classrooms. Our IT department generates mailing lists of all the students in the university and regularly dispatches emails from your email address advertising your services. This campaign generally lasts for two to four weeks, during which you can expect to recieve emails from prospective rootees. The images that were created using Photoshop are dispatched to interested rootees, in order to secure interest in a root.
Step 3: Have Fun
Assuming you haven't scared away potential rootees with your personality, you should now be in a position to proceed with some roots. Once a rootee base has been successfully established, our departments will ramp down the advertising campaign.
All this could be yours for as little as $99.95AUD*.
* special discounts apply for any female who is willing to be part of the CEO's rootee base.
Terms and Conditions
1. Nick Enterprises shall not be held liable for any accusations of vandalism, harrassment or repulsiveness, warranted or not.
2. Nick Enterprises may on occasion record on video, film, electronically, or using any other media it deems appropriate, any rooting activity that occurs between you and a rootee. By purchasing this product you agree to allow us to publish such videos on our website, Ugly Guys Porking Hot Chicks, free from any obligation to you.
3. Nick Enterprises is not responsible for your defective personality frightening rootees.
4. By purchasing this product you waive your right to sue us for anything.
The Package utilises a Tri-Penetrative technique we call Polistitution in order to generate maximum rootage in minimal time. Polistitution is a three step process.
Step 1: Creating Awareness in the Market
The first stage of this package involves the creation of an anonymous Hotmail account and pseudoym to be used when corresponding to potential rootees, the usage of Photoshop, combined with a skillful combing of pornographic websites, to create stimulating pictures of yourself for disbursal to rootees. Our marketing department also begins subliminal advertising in all the lavatories at the university. Step one generally lasts about a week, and the end is marked by random rootees on campus remarking to each other "hey did u c that message on teh toilet wow that's kewl i'm horny".
Step 2: Ramp Up the Campaign
The second stage involves attracting potential rootees, and selling yourself to interested rootees. Our marketing and advertising departments will advertise all over campus on your behalf, posting your pseudonym, email address, and desire to bone, in the university's lavatories, on message boards, on blackboards inside classrooms. Our IT department generates mailing lists of all the students in the university and regularly dispatches emails from your email address advertising your services. This campaign generally lasts for two to four weeks, during which you can expect to recieve emails from prospective rootees. The images that were created using Photoshop are dispatched to interested rootees, in order to secure interest in a root.
Step 3: Have Fun
Assuming you haven't scared away potential rootees with your personality, you should now be in a position to proceed with some roots. Once a rootee base has been successfully established, our departments will ramp down the advertising campaign.
All this could be yours for as little as $99.95AUD*.
* special discounts apply for any female who is willing to be part of the CEO's rootee base.
Terms and Conditions
1. Nick Enterprises shall not be held liable for any accusations of vandalism, harrassment or repulsiveness, warranted or not.
2. Nick Enterprises may on occasion record on video, film, electronically, or using any other media it deems appropriate, any rooting activity that occurs between you and a rootee. By purchasing this product you agree to allow us to publish such videos on our website, Ugly Guys Porking Hot Chicks, free from any obligation to you.
3. Nick Enterprises is not responsible for your defective personality frightening rootees.
4. By purchasing this product you waive your right to sue us for anything.