can you tell me what was ever really special about me all this time?
It's nights like tonight that make me wonder if I need to go back onto Lexapro. I don't understand how I can flip out with such incredible grace without running my car off the road. Tonight I actually hit the medium(no worries it was one of those little one foot ones, no car damage), which didn't do much to calm my nerves.
By the time I finally got home home I was exhausted with being angry and sad. Not as in bored, but physically exhausted with trying to maintain a state of anger or sadness as a means of supporting/pushing myself forward. I haven't decided if reaching that point is a good or bad thing.
I still wish I could muster the courage to just write an email and ask for a time. I have the courage to drive my car through a bloody blizzard while not being able to see the striped lines, while I am sick, but I'm too scared to sit down and let someone reflect the person I show them back at me. Again, not really sure how to feel, but I'm banking on sad for this one.
I fucking hate classes with descriptions that don't match the content. "exploring the universe" (in my mind) does not translate too lets figure out every aspect of the physics behind how the universe was created so that we can use the stars merely as references and examples for the mathmatical problems that will be presented on quizes and exams. Forgive me for thinking we might fucking explore a little bit as we went over these things. I guess as usual I misunderstood the information that was presented to me. I suppose it was just me putting my expectations of things on the language that was presented because it was what I wanted to hear. One of these days that'll get me killed.
Fuck midterms, I'm so done with these classes.
By the time I finally got home home I was exhausted with being angry and sad. Not as in bored, but physically exhausted with trying to maintain a state of anger or sadness as a means of supporting/pushing myself forward. I haven't decided if reaching that point is a good or bad thing.
I still wish I could muster the courage to just write an email and ask for a time. I have the courage to drive my car through a bloody blizzard while not being able to see the striped lines, while I am sick, but I'm too scared to sit down and let someone reflect the person I show them back at me. Again, not really sure how to feel, but I'm banking on sad for this one.
I fucking hate classes with descriptions that don't match the content. "exploring the universe" (in my mind) does not translate too lets figure out every aspect of the physics behind how the universe was created so that we can use the stars merely as references and examples for the mathmatical problems that will be presented on quizes and exams. Forgive me for thinking we might fucking explore a little bit as we went over these things. I guess as usual I misunderstood the information that was presented to me. I suppose it was just me putting my expectations of things on the language that was presented because it was what I wanted to hear. One of these days that'll get me killed.
Fuck midterms, I'm so done with these classes.