Weltschmerz
I've been saying "Fuck it" about everything lately. I'm trying to cut down, but it just gets worse. Maybe if I just ignore it it'll go away. I complain too much. I'm going to complain a little more right about now. Feel free to ignore.
I thought of something really interesting today during the English final, but I can't remember for the life of me what it was. It's pissing me off. I finally finished my latest 20Below assignment, leaving me just enough time to pack for Nebraska. In a cruel twist of fate, I was illustrating an article about people who have no lives because they spend too much time in school. And I'm leaving on fucking Friday and just... woa. Life is moving too fast. I feel lost. I'm starting to develop control issues that want to manifest in self-destructive ways just because it's easy and in some sick way I think it'd be really fucking funny. I'm not motivated enough to actually develop a diagnosible problem, though. It's sort of pathetic.
I think my legs look skinnier in pants.
I keep getting really depressed at random moments and it's driving me nuts. I listen to my emo kid music and sometimes it puts me over. Other times not at all. Sometimes it's just a phrase, or something someone said to me... and it strikes me as just so fucking tragic. And then I fixate until I feel worse enough to feel better. I keep thinking about my art class this summer and how much it's going to suck if there's a lot of homework... and I don't know. I need some down time to work things out, but I never have any and it's fucking me up. Fuck it. I'm going to bed.
I thought of something really interesting today during the English final, but I can't remember for the life of me what it was. It's pissing me off. I finally finished my latest 20Below assignment, leaving me just enough time to pack for Nebraska. In a cruel twist of fate, I was illustrating an article about people who have no lives because they spend too much time in school. And I'm leaving on fucking Friday and just... woa. Life is moving too fast. I feel lost. I'm starting to develop control issues that want to manifest in self-destructive ways just because it's easy and in some sick way I think it'd be really fucking funny. I'm not motivated enough to actually develop a diagnosible problem, though. It's sort of pathetic.
I think my legs look skinnier in pants.
I keep getting really depressed at random moments and it's driving me nuts. I listen to my emo kid music and sometimes it puts me over. Other times not at all. Sometimes it's just a phrase, or something someone said to me... and it strikes me as just so fucking tragic. And then I fixate until I feel worse enough to feel better. I keep thinking about my art class this summer and how much it's going to suck if there's a lot of homework... and I don't know. I need some down time to work things out, but I never have any and it's fucking me up. Fuck it. I'm going to bed.