First star I see tonight...
He was being petty and he knew it. He knew he was being a brat but he couldn’t seem to help it. He’d taken refuge on the observation deck with a bottle of Jim Bean because, while he was happily being juvenile, he knew the sight of all this open space made Bones nervous, which meant he probably wouldn’t follow Jim here. Dammit.
They were married. Yeah, it’d only been a few months, but the heavy ring sitting on his finger attested to the fact. And since they were married, they should have been able to sit down and talk about this and he knew it was pretty much his fault they hadn’t yet.
It killed him though, because at least for now, Bones was just confused. He didn’t understand what he’d done wrong and fuck, being angry at him was like kicking a puppy. In Bones’ mind - as happily fucked up by the damned Alien race, thank you very much Mafuckingwati people - he was married to both Jim and Jocelyn and the two of them knew about one another cared about each other. And Jim had tried to explain it to him, tried to voice why he was so upset, but there was only so much he could do when Bones’ brain told him it was another way, and all it was doing was making his husband absolutely miserable. Fuck.
He took a long drink from the bottle and moved a bit closer to the floor to ceiling windows, and rested his head against the cool glass, letting the alcohol hang in a limp hand. What the hell was he going to do? The aliens weren’t talking, and the scientists were trying to get it right, and Jim was about ready to rip the universe asunder to get his Bones back. He just….
Jocelyn would be off the ship soon, and he tried to tell himself that would fix a lot of this. That with her safely back on Earth and never allowed to step foot on his ship again, that it would be better, but he knew that it was going to upset Bones. Bones who thought he was still married to The Bitch. Who looked at her like he used to look at Jim. Like he still looked at Jim, because fuck, it couldn’t just suck hard enough for his husband to love someone else…he had to love them both.
He watched the stars for a moment, simply breathing and trying to do the Vulcan thing and let all this emotion go, tried to just ignore the strange ache that had settled between his stomach and his heart and hurt with every beat of the aforementioned organ. If he sent Jocelyn away he ran the risk of Bones hating him. Ran the risk of Bones leaving with her. Ran the risk of losing what little bit of Bones he still had. And that…maybe he was a masochist, but he’d rather have his heart ripped from his chest than have Bones leave this ship. No, Jocelyn would stay. Until they got this damn thing fixed. And he’d…he’d stick to his denial of Bones touching him until this drug or alteration was gone from his body and he’d try not to let it kill him when he saw Bones look at her like that. Because it was just…it was just a drug.
It was just a drug.
Fucking drug.
He took another drink and let himself settle on the floor, knowing he was being pathetic for hiding from his problems like this…but for the next thirty minutes, he couldn’t bring himself to care.
They were married. Yeah, it’d only been a few months, but the heavy ring sitting on his finger attested to the fact. And since they were married, they should have been able to sit down and talk about this and he knew it was pretty much his fault they hadn’t yet.
It killed him though, because at least for now, Bones was just confused. He didn’t understand what he’d done wrong and fuck, being angry at him was like kicking a puppy. In Bones’ mind - as happily fucked up by the damned Alien race, thank you very much Mafuckingwati people - he was married to both Jim and Jocelyn and the two of them knew about one another cared about each other. And Jim had tried to explain it to him, tried to voice why he was so upset, but there was only so much he could do when Bones’ brain told him it was another way, and all it was doing was making his husband absolutely miserable. Fuck.
He took a long drink from the bottle and moved a bit closer to the floor to ceiling windows, and rested his head against the cool glass, letting the alcohol hang in a limp hand. What the hell was he going to do? The aliens weren’t talking, and the scientists were trying to get it right, and Jim was about ready to rip the universe asunder to get his Bones back. He just….
Jocelyn would be off the ship soon, and he tried to tell himself that would fix a lot of this. That with her safely back on Earth and never allowed to step foot on his ship again, that it would be better, but he knew that it was going to upset Bones. Bones who thought he was still married to The Bitch. Who looked at her like he used to look at Jim. Like he still looked at Jim, because fuck, it couldn’t just suck hard enough for his husband to love someone else…he had to love them both.
He watched the stars for a moment, simply breathing and trying to do the Vulcan thing and let all this emotion go, tried to just ignore the strange ache that had settled between his stomach and his heart and hurt with every beat of the aforementioned organ. If he sent Jocelyn away he ran the risk of Bones hating him. Ran the risk of Bones leaving with her. Ran the risk of losing what little bit of Bones he still had. And that…maybe he was a masochist, but he’d rather have his heart ripped from his chest than have Bones leave this ship. No, Jocelyn would stay. Until they got this damn thing fixed. And he’d…he’d stick to his denial of Bones touching him until this drug or alteration was gone from his body and he’d try not to let it kill him when he saw Bones look at her like that. Because it was just…it was just a drug.
It was just a drug.
Fucking drug.
He took another drink and let himself settle on the floor, knowing he was being pathetic for hiding from his problems like this…but for the next thirty minutes, he couldn’t bring himself to care.